I once sent a card to a friend who had a bereavement , and one to another who had a baby…….you can guess the rest,……it’s an awful feeling.

German friend of my brother was over to visit. We were in the kitchen, she was trying to light the gas hob using matches which just wouldn’t light. All the while, the gas was on. Me ” Are you trying to gas us all or what?” Yeah, awkward doesn’t really begin to describe it.

School sports day. Bully lost his shorts. Stole mine. Went home on co-ed school bus in underpants….. Later, bully’s Mum pulled him by the ear to our house, in his underpants, my shorts in his guilty paw. Justice, Ha!

Chatting to a couple in a pub, ask him did him did he bring his mother out for a drink often, told me she was his wife

Congratulated a girl at work for wing pregnant except she wasn’t. Oops.

Getting caught by a parent mid-servicing yourself (in the comfort of your own bed)… Cringeworthy teenage moments in general!

Sending a text message or email giving out about your boss……….. And accidentally sending it to said boss :facepalm:

Once when I was young, I worked as a petrol attendance & I put a petrol into a diesel car & the car stopped in the middle of the road….I thought to myself oh sh*t. Luckily I wasn’t sacked thanks to this driver’s big heart.

Talking to my boss while looking at my wife across the table and just as I hang up I say “Talk to you later, love you”! Morto! Had to follow-up with an apology text.

Friend of mine made a comment in the pub to a relation of mine…”who’s the very large lady dressed in all leather good Jaysis” my relation “that’s my wife”

wishing the ground would open and swallow him.

Collecting a woman in hospital, show up with the wheel chair an ask the old dear how she is on her feet to move into the chair. Open mouthed nurse pulls back the covers to reveal a very recent amputation of the right foot. Gave the old dear a giggle though.

Last week end I made a beautiful white sauce from poteen by accident , it was after all in a wine bottle…..still ate it…

Telling the new mom in the bed next to me that I was so glad my baby didn’t have foxy hair as it was in the family. Next day curtains went back and mom, baby and her visiting kids were all bright orange haired

Never proof read that last one, oh f@ck.

Friend of mine with is back to the door in the open plan office, was singing into his pen for the benefit of the rest of the office, to then turn around and find the MD and most of the board of Directors standing behind him… Oh F***

curiosity kill the cat: Early in the morning, the office is empty. I decide to give a try on one of the giratory armchairs in the video conference room. after my third spin I notice a lunch of Chinese executives staring at me from a 60 inches screen on the wall.

Met a friend of my wife in a local shopping centre. Knowing she recently had had a baby, and seeing the mite in the buggy, said ” congratulations, isn’t he a fine lump of a chap “, what did you call him “, she turns to her mother and then turns to me and says, ” eh, Molly “! F@@@@@k. That was bad enough, shouldn’t have told my wife what happened, ” you never listen to me, I told you she had a girl, nag nag nag blah blah”, well, that’s what I heard!!!!

Asking a female work colleague where she got her wash, cut and blow job…

wrong spelling BUNCH..Not LUNCH….

telling my friend if his sister was my sister i wouldnt let her near her boyfriend

said sister and boyfriend right behind me

*made* ( stupid false nails again) lol

Sending a raunchy text to my new boyfriend, but stupid false nails mad me press the wrong name. Went to my ex boyfriends father!!!!
Ohhhhh f@@k :)

A friend of mine was installing software in the server room of a major Irish bank. He’s on the phone, leans against something, swiftly followed by the sound of servers all round him powering down. Trading floor was out for a couple of hours. We had to go for a stiff drink

My oh f**k moment has to be when I decided to offer a blanket guarantee over the whole Irish banking system. OOPS.