IF YOU THOUGHT that you’re only going to the cinema for a night of harmless entertainment when catching the latest disaster blockbuster… you’d be wrong.
So wrong.
What you’re actually doing is getting all sorts of life lessons on how to survive should a disaster ever strike.
So, we’ve rounded up six of these all important lessons so that you know what to look out for should you ever find yourself mid-disaster movie.
1. The water glass never lies
If that water glass is trembling, you know you’ve got a disaster on your hands… It could be a dinosaur, an avalanche, an earthquake or the coming of aliens.
Listen to us – it never lies. Pay attention to your water glass, it could save your life.
2. Someone always predicts what happens…
And gets totally ignored. Poor scientist. Or lonely nerd. Or anyone who has any sense about them/watches the news/pays attention to the weather.
It was always there…
3. Speaking of the news… it will be all over it
But still no one will pay attention to it.
Make no mistake – the news will always be on - in the background, in the bar, on the car radio, wherever our hero is but… it won’t be paid attention to. No way, no how.
4. Run!
You will always need to run. And you totally can outrun that tidal wave, or sea of lava, or zombies or what have you. Sure, dinosaurs are faster than you with bigger teeth, but you can absolutely outrun them.
And lava? Lava only moves at like 40 mph… c’mon, you’d barely break a sweat.
We believe in you – but maybe get some training in, just in case.
5. It’s science, Jim, but not as we know it
There’s a phenomenon over in Hollywoodland and it’s called ‘science’. It’s that (totally believeable in the moment) reason why the sun is going to explode in 24 days, or why dinosaurs are back, or aliens have landed.
Don’t question it too much (or, y’know, at all). It’s just the way things are. Science.
6. And last but not least – you will save your relationship
In fact, you can thank said disaster for its help in salvaging your love life.
It’s a little known truth that nothing sorts out a rocky relationship faster than aliens landing. You know yourself, sure.
Do you feel sufficiently prepared to save the world (or just yourself) when the time comes? If not, there’s another epic disaster movie coming your way where you can brush up your skills. Check out the San Andreas movie starring Dwayne Johnson, 29 May 2015 and here’s the trailer to kick off that training:
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