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Dublin: 15 °C Sunday 19 May, 2013

Lone parent to ‘swap lives’ with senator

Single mother Andrea Galgey and Senator John Gilroy will see how the other side lives for a new project.

Andrea Galgey
Andrea Galgey
Image: Andrea Galgey

A WATERFORD LONE parent is to swap lives with a senator to show him what life is like as a single mum.

Andrea Galgey and Senator John Gilroy will see how each other lives in a project that it is hoped will take place before the next Budget. The two are currently making the final decisions about which production company to undertake the show with.

How it all began

The swap all started on Facebook, explained Galgey:

I left a comment on the Labour Facebook page – it was basically saying I challenge a TD to come and live my life for a week and see how they like the austerity measures.

Senator John Gilroy replied, asking: “Would a senator do?”.  “It snowballed from there. I was really, really surprised,” said Andrea.

I actually thought, on that page no one really comments on it. I was just hoping to go back to my friends and go, ‘typical, they wouldn’t even live my life’. I was really surprised he answered back.
The likes started happening on the page as soon as he said it. There were 500 in a matter of days. Then we started getting the phone calls from radio stations, papers… It’s been unbelievable.

Cutbacks

Galgey lives in Tramore but is originally from Dublin, and has three boys, aged 13, 11, and 7. Last year, her eldest son went into first year in secondary school, and it cost €1000 for his books alone, while her back to school allowance was €600 in total for her three children.

Though she considers herself to be in a lucky position compared to some people, the mum-of-three said that the little cutbacks here or there add up. “My kids are living in poverty by the ESRI index, but I’m lucky because I’m working part time.”

My child benefit has been cut by €1600 over the last four years. It’s an awful lot of money.
“Everybody in Ireland is terrified and the government keep putting out little kites. People are in fear, people are really stressed out and worried about money.

She hopes that a project such as this “might make people in government see that what they’re doing is wrong” and might influence policy.

Swap

But how will the life swap work? While the exact details are being sorted out, Galgey does say:

We decided the best way to work around it was shadowing. He would shadow me for week, follow me around, see me worrying about bills on a Wednesday night. A week is not long for anyone. If he sees my experience, it might have more of an impact.

Galgey is also part of the SPARK campaign, which is for “single parents acting for the rights of our kids”. They set up the group around the time of the last Budget and have a core committee of around 20 people plus around 500 supporters.

Galgey considers herself lucky, as she is no longer on rent allowance and has a council house, which means she was able to get a job and return to education. She is studying for a degree in community development.

She hopes this project will break the stigma surrounding lone parents.

It’s how much we go through as lone parents – we deal with the marriage breakup, divorce, loneliness, the financial end and then the rearing of the kids as well. There are the problems specific to lone parents. Financially I do know I’m very lucky to be where I am but still I find it hard. Each week I do find it hard.

Senator John Gilroy

Speaking to TheJournal.ie, Senator Gilroy said that he agreed to take part for a number of reasons. “Politicians have a poor reputation, generally speaking,” he said, but added that he is leaving it up to Galgey to decide how things will progress.

While admitting that he thought the Facebook comment was “a bit of divilment”, he then realised, after a phone call from Galgey, that it was “an interesting project worth exploring”. “If it is done right, I can see value in it,” he said. “It needs to be more than light entertainment.”

It is always good for people to view how other people live – that’s always a good thing. You might gain good insights into that.

He also said that his wife told him that “it’s very easy for me to be a politician”, and that he realised that he can be a politician because she has taken a career break and he has the support of her and his family. In turn, he realised how hard it would be for Andrea to enter politics herself, which is a pertinent point due to the current debate over gender quotas.

Senator Gilroy added that this year’s budget will include making savings in the provision of services, which will involve cuts in social welfare, health and education departments, so it “would be no harm for policy makers as myself to be aware and reflecting over this”.

Read: Parents “cut back on food” to pay back-to-school costs>

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Comments (56 Comments)

  • OU812 20/10/12 #

    Andrea, make sure you get an executive producer & devised by credit on this show.

    If the production company go on to make more of them & there’s no reason why it wouldn’t also sell the concept around the world as a licence, you’ll get a royalty payment. Without them you get nothing.

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  • I think it should be a two part series – in the second week she spends a week shadowing him. Then we might actually figure out what senators do to earn their salaries and allowances.

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  • what a cracking good idea.. walk a mile in my shoes and all that… fair play to the senator for trying it..

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  • €1000 on books for one child!!! I had one child going in to first and one going in to fifth, I don’t think I spent 1000 on books for both! Plus I hope he spares a thought for the single mothers who have mortgages to pay on top of all their bills and couples in the same boat!

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  • all he has to do is live of the average wage with all the taxes and pay a mortgage to see what its like, especially when you get no help from the social because your working.

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  • I remember similar a show on the BBC about 20 years ago. A Gov minister spent a week in a council flat living on his dole money.
    He wasn’t allowed to bring anything with him as had to buy some clothing items as someone would over a year.
    It was a very interesting project and opened his eyes.

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  • It should be a month, even If he gets to experience hardships? What difference will a Senator make, get Phil Hogan or Knucklehead Noonan to do it on their very long summer break and then that’s a challenge!

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  • A single mother of THREE children ?
    What is her ex partner(s) contributing ?

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    • Possibly nothing, possibly dead, possibly bad influence, abusive or haven’t the financial means. There are a host of reasons why an ex-partner might not be in the picture physically or financially. Either way she is the primary carer of 3 young boys and that’s the circumstance she finds herself in and has to deal with. While most men (the decent ones) want an active part in their kids lives there are many who just don’t and won’t unless forced to by legal process. I can’t imagine the difficulty of being a single parent, mother or father, and trying to provide for all the needs of you child/ren while experiencing hefty budget cuts. I feel nothing but sympathy and solidarity for parents who find themselves in that position.

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    • Can 40% of men in some areas fit the negative description given, if so we should consider it a National emergency situation

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    • I know a few ex partners who don’t contribute to anything! Don’t even care about their kids and for their kids “daddy doesnot exist”

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    • I believe the lady was married when she had the children and is now divorced. I don’t think her partner is working. Just for the record a single mum with three children gets benefits of 275 a week. (I know this lady is working part time so will be getting significantly more). If her ex-husband is not working he will be getting 188 a week. The most he would be expected to contribute is 10 per child leaving him with 158 a week to provide housing etc for himself and for taking care of the kids when he has custody. If he is happily giving his ex wife 30 a week as part of a maintenance agreement she will have to declare this and will be docked half i.e. 15 euro. Therefore there is more money available to take care of themselves and the children when they don’t declare any maintenance than when they do. I’m not saying it’s the right thing to do but you can see why couples sometimes do not declare any maintenance passing between them.

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    • welll jim ahhh jim….i suppose you will have to watch the show to find out

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    • Well this is the type of ignorance that makes a tough job harder. Andrea had one husband who is the father of her three boys. The courts have ordered that he pay €20 per week to support his three children. Luckily he does, there are thousandss of us with orders which are ignored.

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    • Well said Jenn.

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  • Poppy 20/10/12 #

    €1000 on books alone for one child. I’m sorry but I think that must be exaggeration.

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  • As I understand it this man is very hands on in the community he comes from. He has set up amenities and services for the local youth. So he may have a better understanding than most in relation to people who are under pressure financially.

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  • Walk a mile… Maybe just a step forward?

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  • Seems a lot of comments here are being made by people who are assuming, guessing and judging without knowing full facts. Why suggest ?1, 000 is an exaggeration for the cost of schoolbooks without checking first? Why make assumptions about this lady’s ex and maintenance payments without asking first? Why state that this is a publicity exercise that will serve no purpose without at least giving it a go first? Some of you are so quick to judge.
    It certainly won’t do any harm to give it a go and if there’s a chance it can open some eyes, then I say give it a go. I have seen personally how some wealthier people can completely lose touch with the realities faced by working and even middle class people on a daily basis and a reminder of how life is to some of these people is a very good idea so good luck to all involved.

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  • Nice exposure for the Senator

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  • What the father(s) for the kids? They should be made contribute with money deducted at source from salary or welfare, rather than tax payers having to foot the bill

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    • that’s easier said than done. all the father has to do is claim he’s broke and he will only be given a small amount to contribute. like it or not, its much easier for a father to walk away from his kids than it is for a mother

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    • Irish Tax Payer
      I agree with what you are saying ,but it is not always the case. It can be very difficult for the parent (usually the mother) who has the child/ren to get the errant parent to contribute . As it is usually seen that the mother will use it for her own benefit !!!
      On the yopic of the “lifeswap I think this is a great exercise for a public figure to get involved in, I look forward to the tv programe.

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    • yes you are right, but people need to stop blaming and attacking the fulltime parent for this, there does need to be a better maintenence system in place but address that with the state and the absent parents, not the parents who do all the graft and nurturing

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  • publicity stunt..

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  • does anyone else think that this could be a crappy plot to a rom-com?

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  • When i entered secondary 3/4 of my books were second hand. I would like to see the receipts she has.

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  • I don’t see the value in this, if a public representative claims to still need a week in someones home to know how their life is affected by 4 years of austerity measures then they must be really lousy at their job.

    What happens at the end? he says ‘yes it’s as terrible as I already knew, but have done nothing about it’, or ‘oh god it’s terrible and I didn’t know’.

    I understand the sentiment and frustration of the mother, but its a publicity stunt from the senator.

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    • I don’t see any value in this either. She seems like a lovely woman but as she says herself is in a lucky position. Working families will be suprised at the disposable income available to her. I’m sure the program will show that she’s very busy but some of that is self imposed as she’s taking on a degree. Again many working parents would probably love to better their prospects with a degree but they’re too busy working and taking care of their children. When you have children you assume that your personal goals may have to be put on the long finger until they’re grown up. I expect a backlash of resentment towards lone parents (of which I am one) after this program. Great publicity for the senator though.

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    • disposable income? ha

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  • mike 20/10/12 #

    Being a lone parent is not a poverty trap. It’s an excuse for people who give up. I know plenty of lone parents who have made a great success of their career. Statistically a lone patent is more likely to set up her own business than a married woman.. It does make things harder but that’s no reason not to try.

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  • Council house, do you have to pay rent for them? How do I get one?

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    • Yes you do varies depending on your income..generally similiar amount to the contribution made after rent allowance….to get one, get your name on a list and wait on average ten years… if you are still eligible then you might get one if the council happen to build an estate near you and you happen to be in the top twenty or so on the local list….

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    • That’s disingenuous Sharon and you know it. Just as you know the rent varies upon your circumstances so does your eligibility on the list and lone parents get to the top, bull re the 10 years etc.

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    • actually married couples get to the top first Anne, ive been on the list over 7 years so..

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    • Anne..what I meant was in answer to macafee’s question…a council house is not just handed to you on a plate..and that you do pay rent..it is depending on income as is rent supplement..so it is not a free house for rest of your days as I took macfee to be implying..sorry if not the intent of question..As for lone parents getting priority I am on list for nearly 8 years and have a letter stating that I am not a high priority..perhaps depends on local authority i have one child as do the majority of lone parents. I agree with a lot of your comment below regarding basic rate etc.

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    • Sharon I suppose it does depend on where you want your house but it’s how Andrea got a house so fast that’s going to be questioned and it will be decided by the viewer that it was because she was a lone parent. The article says that it want to challenge the stigma surrounding Lone Parents. People are extreemly prejudiced towards Lone Parents and imagine them all living the life of Riley in Council Houses. If the stigma was to be challenged would it not be better the Lone Parent was not earning significantly more than the base rate and living in a Council house in a nice area. I think this is such a bad idea in this climate when working people with mortgages are finding it such a struggle. The first thing the tax paying viewer will do is add up her weekly net income with the value of rent allowance/council housing and the value of medical card, back to school allowances, buss passes for children and figure out how much she would have to earn working full time to come out with that amount and that will be the Headline, unfortunately.

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    • Anne..unfortunately no matter what the circumstances of the lone parent chosen the stereotypes will be there…if they are working they will have their income compared with two parent family and if they are not they will be questioned as to why not…if they are working full time they will be neglectful of their children and if they are working part time they will be trying to hold benefits if they have more then one child they will be having babies for benefits and if the father is partially involved they will be blamed for not getting maintenance from them…if they are studying its they’re own fault they stressed and if they not how to they expect to upgrade their jobs.it’s a no win situation… at least Andrea and those involved trying something but they will have to be very careful to raise all the important points…and maybe talk to parents in different situations..I hope they manage to..it’s a pity Irish people can’t see the real culprits in sponging off the state..ie the politicians and tax exiles. PS I think the lone parents that get houses quickly are those with other factors..unsuitable overcrowded accommodation, medical reasons,sharing with former partners who are abusive etc, or risk of homelessness etc, these are the reasons for priority as given by the housing policy statements on local authority website…marital status is not there.

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  • Looks like you really didn’t pay very much attention in your Applied Psychology classes there Anne Parkinson.

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  • Karen 02/04/13 #

    Did this ever happen? I am keen to see the results,yet it has disappeared.Was he ordered not to do it?

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  • Like he’s gonna get a fair idea how the other half lives in a week!! He knows he’s going back to his nice fat salary after a few days, what a joke…

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  • Poppy 20/10/12 #

    I merely suggested €1000 for books alone must be an exaggeration. Maybe if you include PE gear, uniform, runners, shoes, coat etc…then it could be €1000. I know because I have a first year student. If anyone here has paid €1000 for books ALONE for one child I stand corrected.

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  • Good luck to all involved I won’t be watching. Seems the most cringworthy thing I’ve come across in a long time… OMG she feels she can’t be elected! OMG it’s just tooooooo hard to raise three children, work part time and study for a degree. It only takes three working people to pay for me I want four! There are so many reasons why I need to be understood!!! Both the mother and the councillor should be applauded though for their marketing skills. It would have been too easy to just show him your income… your bills…. do a little computing….

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  • I don’t know whether you understand what Applied Psychology is Kiakra. I choose not to watch the programme when it’s made as I thiink as i said it would be cringeworthy and won’t do lone parents any good.

    Anyone who has queried the relevance or facts of the article have been militantly put down. The school books thing for example anyone who queries the cost of 1000 euro for Junior Cert books is told ‘you don’t know what you’re talking about.

    The article advertises that the Senator will be swapping lives with a lone parent. I have listened to Andrea on the radio and so I know that she is living on more than the rate for lone parents due to her part time work. For the swap to be relevant the Senator should be living on lone parent’s benefit alone. Her income is not too different to many working families so I don’t think this program will elicit much sympathy.

    Were the Senator to live on the basic benefit I think it would raise more issues and make people less prejudiced to Lone Parents. Most people do not know that Lone Parents benifit is the same as job seekers; they really don’t. I asked Eamonn O Cuive when he was Minister for Social Welfare why Lone Parent’s were not paid the same rate as Carers. He replied that Lone Parents don’t work for a living like carers do. I think that attitude should be changed certainly for a Lone Parent is responsible for all the needs of a child food clothing shelter etc at 29 euro (try feeding a 6ft teenager on 29 euro a week never mind clothing etc) when a carer is minding someone usually with at least a state pension and sometimes very wealthy. Anyway that is why I think the project would be more relevant were he swapping with someone who had to live on lone parents benefit alone.

    I am also quite annoyed at how quick people were to jump in and assure the readers that Andrea had been married and only has one father for her three children. This implies that there are ‘good’ lone parent’s and ‘bad’ lone parents. SPARK should not let this slip as it’s the children they are meant to be supporting and not discriminating against the perceived morals of their mothers.

    If was also most commented on that the fathers should be paying more etc. If I thought Andrea would bring the Senator down to the family courts to see the mothers try to get court dates, turn up for court dates only to be not heard etc. then I would be more inclined to watch as I don’t think the average person has any idea of what it’s like trying to get maintenance. Otherwise it’s just a program where a man swaps lives with a busy mum.

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