Very true Eileen. Well in the majority of cases it is anyway. If people stopped looking at the result of the problem and started looking at the cause of the problem we would have a lot less problems (that’s a lot of problems, lol) and Ireland would be a much more happier place :-)

Loads of kids come from difficult homes and don’t end up being bullies. Bullying can destroy a childhood and effects you for the rest of your life, no child/person regardless of their own ‘issues’ has the right to victimise another human. The whole problem is the victims are often forgotten. The victims have to live with the way those bullies treated them for the rest of their life’s. All schools need to adopt a zero tolerance bullying policy, If kids know it’s not acceptable then we have a chance to reduce it happening. I also think role playing to highlight how your actions can effect someone else would be a good idea with children. I was bullied in school and the kids that did it certainly didn’t come from a ‘miserable home’, in fact the majority of them were spoilt kids who got a thrill out of looking cool in the playground and making someone else feel miserable. Quite frankly I couldn’t give a toss what problems the bullies have, nothing excuses the way they destroy their victims life’s. The damage they cause takes years if ever to repair, they destroy your self esteem and confidence.

Poppy smith …..
You have completely misunderstood my post . Bullies have problems , low self esteem usually, or parents being too generous with material things and not enough real time with their kids . I was a victim of a bully too and it has stayed with me all my life , so much so I hated eating in public …. It is mostly behind me now tho.
Roll playing and softly softly approach ….. no. The bullied person needs all the reassurance you can give . My son was a victim of a bully and that child 3 years later is still a bully BUT my son due to my efforts is a really happy child now . I did not know how or why the bullying started and even after approaching the relevant authority figures the bully is still a bully but has moved on to other children, his issues have not been addressed at all. My son tho is strong and confident and knows that he has us and is secure in the knowledge that he is safe. We told him how we approached the teachers, showed him the letters , and just reassured him that if that boy spoke or taunted him it was ok to walk away and tell an adult ….
I am glad you have come through your experience of being bullied , chin up girl , onwards and upwards!:)
Then of course there is adult bullying …., In the work place, on the team, or committee, even on the road you live on … This is so difficult to handle because now you should be able to, as an adult , deal with and stand your ground with a bully.
poppysmith > of course the victim of a bully should always be paramount to any help available , I am just saying that the bully must be dealt with too.

@Eileen Gabbett –
Completely missed your point first time. My defence mechanism kicked in ;)! Coming from a school where my teachers did nothing except blame me for being bullied it’s sometimes hard to see why we should care about the bullies. In reality though I blame the teachers more than the kids for my bullying, they were the adults with the power to stop it and instead they fuelled it further. I did eventually leave the school after 6 years of torture and through much help from my family and counselling I’m through the other side with a degree under my belt and a job I love. A recent trip home actually made me take pity on the kids that bullied me – most of them work in the local chiper and look miserable and I know for a fact that a number of them went on to bully other kids throughout primary school after I left and in secondary school too. It does certainly make me wonder how things would have been different if someone had sat them down and spoken to and listened to the bullies.

Sometimes it’s a simple case of children from an early age being made aware of how their actions impact on others and othertimes the child’s problems are much more deeply routed, either way something needs to be done to target bullying in schools, the way some schools deal with it even now is appalling.

Poppy smith . I am so proud of you …The bullies are now nobodys . Fairplay to you .Not that working in any job is a bad thing but you won through and followed your dreams and achieved so much . My eldest son was too a victim of bullies and I was so worried and I spoke to two of his tormentors parents , one lot said boys will be boys and basically were not interested and the other parents were aghast that their child could be cruel. They challenged him and he apologised and moved on. The first bully has been in and out of jail, the second went to college and is very respectable. My son too is a high achiever with a degree under his belt and a very good job.
We must look after the victims and get to the root cause of why a bully is a bully… I have my own suspicions but as I am not a trained expert in child psychology I will refrain from saying too much . Keep talking to the victims tho, they need to know they have our support.

Agree Manfred, my son was a victim of cyber bullying a long time ago when this was relatively new thing. It happened at school, and to this day (now finished college and working) I think it effects his self esteem. I doubt the bastards that did it even remember. Unfortunately I don’t think it will ever stop.