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Dublin: 10 °C Thursday 23 May, 2013

Column: Why does our TV portray men as helpless fools? Come on…

The parade of hopeless males on our screens isn’t just unfair – it’s patronising women, writes comedian Eleanor Tiernan.

Eleanor Tiernan

THE WOMEN’S MOVEMENT has loads left to do.

We never see a man being told off if his physical urges get in the way of his business decisions. Yet women are still routinely judged unstable if their emotions affect their judgement! There’s still plenty of ground to be covered, a balance between home and career to be struck, double standards in the workplace, language difficulties and sometimes men make fun of women for just… well… being women. That’s not nice.

It’s not what this piece is about though. This is a piece about sexism against men. Yes, it exists and yes, we should take it seriously. Maybe you think I am joking? I understand. It’s not something people write about often. But maybe that’s because what I am about to describe is a bit subtle or easy to miss.

It’s where you’ll be watching television and see an ad, maybe, where a woman is rolling her eyes up to heaven at how stupid her husband is; or how he never listens to her; or he won’t ask for directions. When you look at them closely, the vast majority of ads depicting heterosexual couples on TV seem to be trying to make the point that women are superior to men.

Oh look! He’s tried to put together some flatpack furniture without reading the instructions and my, what a mess he has made of it. What’s this? Two women, smothered with colds but unable to rest on their busy days meet in the street and drop into the conversation that both of their husbands are at home in bed sick. Those lazy husbands who go to bed if they are sick. The weaklings.

He’s so thick

Oh now look! It’s Christmas time and a lady is dropping hints to her husband about they present she would like, and he’s so thick he doesn’t get it. What an idiot he is! I used to like that Here Come The Girls tune too, before it became the nauseating anthem for materialism and superficiality. Here come the girls indeed! Where are the women?

It’s confusing. For so long women were thought of as second class citizens and in so many ways we still are being treated as such. But now we see company after company intent on asserting, through advertising or saccharine plotlines on TV shows, women’s status as the superior sex. Are they correct? Are women really always right and men wrong? Are we better than men? Perhaps for all of these years feminism has been setting its’ sights too low. For years women have been fighting for equality. Were we wrong? Should we have been fighting for superiority all along?

But we’re not… are we? Women are not superior to men. Women are equal to men. So why would advertisers relentlessly pitting the genders against each other if it’s not true?They must have our best interests at heart, mustn’t they? They wouldn’t do anything to hurt us… Or could the reason that so many companies target women in their advertising be that research shows that in the majority of households, the purchasing decisions are made by women? These companies believe that by elevating the status of women above men, we will be so flattered that we will rush out and buy their cleaning product or yoghurt or cereal?

How patronising is that? That is how little they think of women – we are so desperate for a compliment that when we get one, we’ll feel so indebted to the company who paid it that we’ll immediately rush out and buy our toiletries in their shop? Advertisers: listen very carefully. Women do not need you to confirm their intelligence for them. We already know we are intelligent. Please stop this immediately.

Love hurts

And worse, that we would delight in undermining men in the process. Many women have a justified anger with men. Some men are arseholes. But some women are arseholes too. Love is not for the faint-hearted. Those brave enough to play the game inevitably run the risk of having their hearts broken. In the straight world, men and women each wield a power over the other that makes us vulnerable. Naturally, we want to remove this power. But the result of this is a shutting down of our souls, the part of us that is spiritual. Pitting the genders against each other will not bring is closer to enlightenment.

Most men don’t seem to be too upset about this. There haven’t been any men’s rights marches yet. Is that surprising? It took woman thousands of years to ask for equality. Complaining takes courage and requires a dismissal of the person’s gender stereotype.

But if it’s a men’s issue, why should women care? Well, even if you don’t care for men’s sake, women should care for our own sake. Because every time an ad shows a woman undermining a man unfairly, an ugly superior judgmental tone is assigned to women that is unfair to us. It is sexism. We aren’t like that. We are as capable of acting like idiots as any man.

In the interest of feminism, why don’t we women take a stand against the advertising trend of portraying men as hapless and woman as condescending? Take note, advertisers: If you undermine men in your marketing, do not pretend to be doing it on my behalf. I will delete you from my shopping list with the ruthlessness of a cold-hearted Wall Street broker.

Eleanor Tiernan is a comedian. She will appear at the Vodafone Comedy Festival in Dublin’s Iveagh Gardens this Thursday, July 26 along with Foil, Arms & Hog and A Betrayal of Penguins, before performing in a run of solo shows at the Edinburgh Fringe.

You can follow Eleanor on Facebook or Twitter.

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Comments (85 Comments)

  • Because the white male is the last group you can openly parody without instigating sexist or racist backlash

    Reply
  • I can’t think of a single endeavour where women or men don’t tend to excel when compared to each other, there are a myriad of pop psychology books willing to make the point. Saying “women are equal to men” is like saying “blue is no better than green”, all a bit waarm, fuzzy and meaninglesss.
    The point is to treat each other with respect and recognise each other’s strengths and weaknesses, thinking we’re all the same is just nonsense.
    Incidentally, if advertisers spend millions on market research, and pitch ads at women which portray men as buffoons, the simple fact is that those ads are very effective at selling products.

    Reply
    • It doesn’t affect me, because I’m a grown adult man, but what effect does this constant bombardment of images have on boys? Try it sometime – sit in front of the telly for two hours before the 9 o’clock watershed and try to spot a competent adult male who is neither a criminal nor seeking/drinking beer. Just because something is effective at its primary aim, doesn’t mean we shouldn’t assess its secondary effects, and if necessary, intervene.

      Reply
  • Advertisers targeting women paint men in the form of stupidity because the woman wants to feel superior, the same way advertisers targeting men portray women as objects and have them prance around in scantily clad clothing because it’s what hetrosexual men want to see! :)

    Reply
  • Go into any family law court in the country and you can see that gross discrimination against men occurs on a daily basis. Suicide figures too are astronomical for men, particularly young men and very little gets done or said about this. Cheap media portrayals don’t help – and would not be tolerated if the shoe was on the other foot.

    Women are by far the most institutionally discriminated against group of the two – no question about that. The pay gap and even the constitution are testiment to this, to name just two areas! However, both men and women are negatively and seriously affected by the prevailence of social stereotyping – whether that be women as the primary caregiver or men as breadwinner or unworthy of mention (something putting a lot of strain on mens psyche in a time of mass youth unemployment).

    The fight for equal rights and respect is one that should matter to both sexes, and one that should be taken up by both sexes. If not for each other, then at least for themselves.

    Reply
    • Not to sound like an idiot, and I am really genuinely interested…but how is there a pay gap? I thought that if a bloke and a girl start working in a clothes shop for example, they both begin out on the same rate of pay, usually minimum wage……so how does the guy end up earning more by his gender alone, rather than working hard?

      Reply
    • Any statistics on the pay gap only ever look at annual salary, and forget to take into account that men work 4-6 hours a week more than women. This increases in higher paying jobs, as men are 6 times as likely to work over 50 hours a week. the list goes on, in essence the pay gap is a farce.

      Reply
    • JTHM 24/07/12 #

      The pay gap is most prominent and executive level, so it is a result of legacy employment agreements, rather than current policy. It’s not possible to retroactively alter these contracts. For an accurate view of pay discrepancies between the sexes, we have to look at the employment contracts being drafted now, not those of ten / fifteen years ago.

      Reply
    • No, actually, apparently on the lowest paid jobs, these are ones where women are more likely to be paid less for doing the exact same jobs. There’s less of an income gap with wealthier women (big shocker: sexism affects the less wealthy more), but there’s also a whole bigger can of worms about how women are encouraged to take more flexible part-time jobs to take the majority of childcare (Article 41 expressly recognising the position of women within the home doesn’t help!)

      Reply
    • Eleen 24/07/12 #

      There’s also the bigger issue of professions that are stereotypically done by women being undervalued in society and therefore pay less.

      Reply
  • Niall 24/07/12 #

    It’s not just adds though. I cant stomach shows like “the king of queens” and “everybody loves Raymond” because the two lads are depicted as hapless eejits and the two women are bossy, demanding, bullying pains in the hole. And there are tonnes of shows that follow that same two character formula if you look.

    Reply
  • Decent article but it fails to acknowledge one thing, the reason there are never many complaints against these ads is that the majority of men just don’t care. I know I am not an idiot who can’t work a washing machine or that I will stay in bed because I have a sniffle. Women who believe these ads are true are idiots, in the same way that men are idiots if they believe spraying a bit of lynx on yourself will have women crawling around your feet.

    This style of advert is getting old now anyways….and I always thought they were a bit patronising to women to begin with. Usually its the bloke who can’t work some kind of household appliance and then the domestic goddess women saves the day. Kinda reinforcing the old gender-roles…

    Reply
  • Great article. This kind of stereotype pops up often in ads for cleaning products. I wonder why that could be? It wouldn’t be to subtly reinforce the idea that cleaning is “woman’s work” would it?

    Reply
  • In general this sort of thing is not about equality. It’s about pay back, which is what people often mean by “equality”. The argument seems to be that group X having suffered under the yoke of group Y then, under the guise of “equality”, they are due some sort of payback to “redress” their sufferance.

    This is, of course, nonsense. However it’s widespread nonsense. We’ve seen it in the early years of post apartheid South Africa. We’ve seen it Zimbabwe. We see it under the guise of feminism.

    It makes as much sense as Irish people now saying that they deserve some of redress from British people now for what long dead British people may have done to similarly long dead Irish people. Thankfully Irish and British people are grown up enough to realise that this is nonsense and the two countries are able to maintain civil relations.

    Indeed, if we were to drag up every conflict of the last 10 centuries between the various European powers nothing would ever get done.

    We are all people, we are all equal, we are all moving forward from the same position. Can we not do so together?

    Reply
    • Ah but Damocles, that would involve being sensible and using a bit of logic. I don’t think the majority have people have gotten to a stage where they let their emotions about the past subside. Even the most level headed person can still find themselves riled up, whether it be a deeply offensive racist/sexist remark or just a tongue in cheek comment.

      I came across something yesterday that gives an example of such. I work in videogame development and as such I spend a good bit of time in gamer forums etc. Found this little nugget of how Irish and British relations can sour so quickly over a game….and bear in mind not all these people are children, some are upwards of 30! Couldn’t believe it when I saw an IRA vs British Forces match! The comments get worse as they go on.
      http://battlelog.battlefield.com/bf3/battlereport/show/56375813/4

      I don’t know if it is a generational thing, but I have never seen a woman as less than equal to me….so I can’t see really see the points most of these articles written by feminists make. Other than I understand this one is about making men out to be idiots, and advertisers thinking that women would be so easily swayed by this form of advertising.

      Reply
  • I think there’s no protest from men because we don’t care what an ad says we’re like. It has no relevance to the majority of men i.e. we don’t see ourselves as the hapless fool portrayed in the ad.

    Reply
    • yes but the point in those ads as i see it is that women do see men as hapless fools a lot of the time. dont get me wrong, i have the utmost respect for women but how many times have you heard women buying into the idea that guys never admit they are wrong or that they would never ask for directions..again my earlier point above on sweeping generalisations. there are so many concepts flung around with the basis that all men are useless and going to let women down at some stage

      Reply
  • Beer ads are the only ones that work with me. Everything else I’m immune to. The most annoying one I’ve seen is the VHI ad where a cartoon Dad is at home while his wife is in “some like ER situation” giving birth to twins, and the cartoon Dad is at home holding a brush and a frying pan, looking clueless. I dont pay the VHI anymore because of that negative stereotyping, or was it the negative equity. It was negative anyway whatever it was. Just say no to negativeness. & no to Robert DeNiro Taxi Driver you talking to me, photo parodies. ok!

    Reply
  • Ciara 24/07/12 #

    There is a men’s rights movement in Ireland, as it happens, though it’s quite small. And there is at least one fathers rights organisations, who march(ed?) at Christmas time down Grafton Street dressed as Father Christmas.

    I did some research with the groups a couple of years ago, and found that there are serious issues which need to be addressed for men in Ireland. There is considerable stigma around admitting domestic abuse, for instance, and only one organisation dealing with domestic abuse of men (AMEN). Male suicide is massive as well, with precious little being done to address it.

    However, certain members of the groups we have in Ireland (2/3 years ago anyway) seemed to believe that there is a feminist conspiracy against them, particularly in the family courts system, which makes it a bit difficult for feminists to work with them or sometimes even take them seriously. I could understand why they were so angry – many of them had huge (huge) legal debt, and little to show for it. At the same time, I felt there was a definite misapportioning of the blame. Surely our culture where women are expected to assume the role of primary care-giver (and so get custody in most instances) and men of more removed breadwinner is not the fault not of feminism, but the fault of society at large for failing to address heavily-gendered parenting roles?

    Overall, I’m not sure the portrayal of men as doofuses in advertising is really the biggest gendered-issue facing men in Ireland today, but it’s good to start a conversation on the matter anyway.

    Reply
    • There is one flaw with what you are saying. I have heard many feminists define feminism as the pursuit of equality between males and females. And that feminism most definitely does not mean making females superior to males. Would I be correct on this?

      I say this because, if it is true, then it is the role of feminist to change the culturally accepted idea that men are the breadwinner and women are the primary care giver. After all feminism changed other culturally accepted things of the past, such as women being allowed work in usually male dominated careers.

      Reply
    • Great post Olaf!!

      Reply
    • Eleen 24/07/12 #

      Feminism is very much concerned with changing the idea that men are the breadwinner etc. in fact, feminist gender theory has made huge strides in that area and has done so for a while. Men and masculinity was a topic first made popular by the feminist movement.

      Ciara is right in saying that there are some in men’s rights activism that blindly ignores these facts and takes a very big stand against feminism, not realising that we’re fighting for the same things. They’re often angry for good reasons – because society seems to make light of problems men face (with custody and domestic abuse being good examples) – but blame feminists primarily for these problems when it’s feminists who fight against these problems too.

      Reply
  • You just have to imagine the same ads the other way around. If a woman were portrayed the same way in which the man is being portrayed, would it be acceptable? In most cases I’d say it would be considered offensive to say the least. We need to move beyond the whole question of superiority, and battling for quality, and just start to respect eachother for who we are. Vive la difference!

    Reply
  • surely what advertisers try to do is take sweeping generalisations of a class of persons and accentuate their faults or assets in order that the majority of people will relate to the point being made or at least find it humorous or something that they can relate to. its a fair point you make. On a related matter, I watched a documentary the other night called hip-hop beyond the beats or something like that which goes the other way in so far as gangster rappers are called upon to portray themselves as gun slinging homophobic money-loving ‘bitch-hating’ ego maniacs in order to sell records..with like 60 percent of album sales being made by white suburbanites..as we know, it all boils down to what sells..in that example, african americans dont see the manipulation of women (notwithstanding some seriously brutal statistics for sexual assaults on black women) as an important issue facing the black population. police brutality and percentage of young blacks in prisons etc being much more of a social problem. the gangster rapper is almost an idea thought up by executives in the bigger record companies and by extension to your article advertising houses. anyway its just a thought on your piece!

    Reply
  • I wonder how many men who say that advertising doesn’t work with them drink Coke Zero.

    Reply
    • Derek 24/07/12 #

      Tanora ftw!

      Reply
    • Here’s the thing about Coke Zero though, Diet Coke is actually the diet version of New Coke which came out in the 80s and so tastes nothing like Coca Cola. Coke Zero’s recipe is based off of the one for what we know today as Coca Cola. So, if someone likes Coke but wants a diet version then Coke Zero is the one to go for.

      Now, Diet Coke has used gendered stereotyping for years to great advantage (it outsells regular coke) but the side effect of it is that some (SOME) men feel like it’s not for them. So if someone is used to the taste of Coke (most men) but want a healthier choice (an increasing number of men) they’re going to go for Coke Zero.

      Reply
    • Damocles 24/07/12 #

      Right, Coke Zero is Bloke Coke.

      Reply
  • bob 24/07/12 #

    what about stereotyping elephants!! that poor elephant in the Rolo add some years back doesn’t even like Rolo’s! ;) great add though.then I also love sky plus,I pause when adds come on and forward past.haven’t watched adds in months,bliss.

    Reply
  • Rob 24/07/12 #

    who cares?? surely if theres any defining difference between men and women its that men really don’t care what women think of them!?

    Reply
    • You clearly haven’t met some of my single male friends, who never shut up about what women think of them!

      Reply
    • More to the point I think I think most men don’t really care how advertisers portray them in this cynical & patronising method of persuading women to buy stuff.
      In the final analysis it’s really an insult to women’s intelligence by advertisers who would be willing to spend oodles of money following this line of promotion when the fact that they do clearly implies that it works!

      Reply
    • Agreed, have you seen the ad where the wife sells her husband on ebay, the woman who buys him asks if he is a goer!! If the roles if that ad were reversed it would have very different connotations. Poor man, I hope he contacted the European court of human rights. Disgraceful carry on.

      Reply
    • Niamh
      I think men are right not to be indignant at that kinda silly nonsense.

      This chap was very lucky to have been put on the market by some ungrateful harridan who was incapable of appreciating his unique abilities in the sack! :-)

      Reply
  • I think it’s true that one of the last groups that advertisers have access to for the purpose of creating the ‘humour hook’ in advertising is the Anglo Saxon White male.
    Any other ethnicity is almost certainly out of bounds but if you study reverts ( not that I’m researching them or anything) some other stereotypes are considered fair game.. Old people, very conservative types , even red haired people ‘gingers’ as they have been lovingly described, are all featuring in adverts as the butt of the joke.
    It’s more difficult and more expensive to employ the talent that can make really clever humour out of thin air so that vast majority of what we see is created on a budget by the lowest bidder.
    It’s lazy and sloppy to just assume things about the opposite sex.
    Like all people what ever the gender, race, ( or hair colour) theirs always more to them when you take the time to look but in general, I think advertising watchdogs need to tackle this and force the industry to work a little harder to catch our attention..

    Reply
  • Good article. Dead right. I think extremist feminism contributes to this atmosphere. There are women that believe being equal to men means killing anything feminine about themselves. Men and women will never be equal in the sense that men and women both have something completely different and unique to bring to the table. This difference should always be valued.

    Reply
    • The roots of sexism, misogyny and chauvinism are all rooted in religion and a belief that men and women are not equal, this is called complementarianism.this has been shaped by religious patriarchs who believe women are to provide children (sustaining the congretation) and men are in charge.

      Reply
  • Tá an ceart aici. An-alt!

    Reply
  • Resel 24/07/12 #

    This is us men being smart. We let the ladies think they are in control so we get lots of nookie.

    Reply
  • bob 24/07/12 #

    its all about the money.and us boys are a harder lock to pick when it comes to marketing.if I need a pint of milk,I buy a pint of milk! I pass by the flashy bright happy products to the fridge at the back of the shop and pay and leave.my sister and her friends cannot do this.
    check out how much money is spent on marketing perfume while your at it,and actual cost of scent.shoe collections,handbag collections,fear of been seen in the same outfit as another girl,fear of that other girl looking better than them.
    so is it a hapless male stereotype or are women’s fear’s been used against them.
    by,if the floor of the kitchen has not had the 99.9% of germs killed off it,then the carrot your kid dropped my be enough to kill them! add finishes with clean happy child and kitchen and woman mopping floor! mmmm

    Reply
  • Sells product.simple. Check peppy pig out. Mammy rules but Daddy pig is a complete spanner.
    As a father I have to work harder to convince my son I’m not Daddy pig esque. It’s tough.

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  • “Women are not superior to men. Women are equal to men.”

    Anti-Feminist propaganda! And that.

    Reply
    • Well, I’m a feminist and these ads definitely make me roll my eyes. Saying “all men are the same” is ridiculous. Your gender is not the primary determinant of your interests or personality.

      Reply
  • Dafuq did I just read?

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  • Patriarchy and capitalism. Long time bedfellows.

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  • Charlie Brooker did it

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  • Yes attitudes can be shaped by subtle implication . Father Ted is a good example of its use. Defending against malicious humour is difficult

    Reply
  • Advertising doesn’t work do well with men. We are far too cynical and don’t like to be told what to do with our money,in most cases anyway.making men look dumb gives women a laugh helps them remember the product .plus they are far easier won over by ads as they are easier to convince of anything vaguely plausible .hence most ads ,even those that don’t ridicule men,are aimed at the girls

    Reply
  • *facepalm*

    Reply
  • Ah my comment vanished again!

    Long story short, the objectification of men attracts little or no comment. Imagine if this were a Hunky Dorys ad;

    http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wbrKC0X14HQ/T-yCK7IrbHI/AAAAAAAAEP0/EMVL2ibQOUU/s1600/Abercrombie+&+Fitch+Dublin+ad+over+hoarding+wall+-+photo+by+Patrick+Mooney+for+The+Sitch+on+Fitch+-+image+2.png

    Reply
  • bren 24/07/12 #

    My take is that all these ads are repeating the same joke, which is an attempt to skewer traditional roles and power dynamics between men and women by exaggerating everyday occurrences and experiences that people can identify with.

    Just a joke. The same joke, over and over, I’ll grant you. But just a joke.

    Reply
  • The most shocking thing about this article is that you are seemingly a comedian. Ironically this is a poor advert for you and I doubt I’ll make much effort to turn up to any of your gigs…………unless curiosity gets the better of me! :)

    Reply
  • The “misandry is actually misogyny” was a really interesting take on it

    Reply
  • Jaysus. I now have brain itch.

    Reply
  • Can’t imagine anything of less importance to b of concern to everyone at this time. Only read it as had gone thro.the rest .

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    • ribbons 24/07/12 #

      If people constantly bemoan the state of the nation, how are we going to get anywhere? The economy is bad but there are other things to talk about.

      Reply
    • There are several example sof horrendous unnoticed sexism against men. This is just one of them and worth talking about.
      Another for example (along the same vain) is how men in rom coms are very usually physically abused for being foolish and haphazard, or even for doing something actually bad emotionally, that’s both patronising to women (“that’s how they express their emotions”) though not that often untrue in the real world and also demeaning to men, again though men do expect it in the real world.

      Reply
    • Because, of course, discrimination, in whatever form it may appear, is totally acceptable and of no concern whatsoever. If you really think that bigotry is the least important thing to be concerned about in the world then you truly are a detestable excuse for a human being.

      Reply
  • Can someone provide a couple of examples of this please?

    Reply

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