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Pomegranite juice: doesn't necessarily cure what ails you. ilovemypit via Flickr
Bad-vertising

Top 5: Examples of really, really bad advertising

As a popular pomegranite juice is condemned for not conquering ED, we present our favourite ridiculous ads.

A POPULAR POMEGRANITE JUICE has been blasted by the USA’s Federal Trade Commission (FTC) for making “false and unsubstantiated” claims about the positive effects of drinking it.

POM Wonderful had advertised itself as helping to combat prostate cancer, heart disease, and – bafflingly – erectile disfunction – in claims that are, equally bafflingly, being defended by the manufacturer.

So, inspired by that, here’s our favourite ads that promised just a little too much.

1. The Carbolic Smoke Ball

The original example of bad advertising – so much so that it’s regularly one of the first cases that any law student will meet. In November 1891, the Carbolic Smoke Ball company advertised a brand new product which, if inhaled regularly, would cure/prevent asthma and the flu.

So confident was the manufacturer in its product, that it offered £100 – thousands in modern money – to anyone who succumbed to such diseases. What’s more, it lodged £1,000 in a named London bank to prove its confidence.

Louisa Carlill saw the advertisement, sent off for one (a rubber ball filled with carbolic acid, with a tube attached – the user was to squeeze the ball and release the vapour into the nose), and used it for nearly two months until – surprise, surprise – she contracted the flu.

Carlill went to court and won – a landmark ruling about advertising’s role in forming legal contracts that survives to this day.


2. Coco Pops stop you getting swine flu

In May of last year, Kelloggs’ American division slapped a new banner on boxes of Rice Krispies and their cousin, Cocoa Krispies (or ‘Coco Pops’ in this part of the world). These products “support your child’s immunity!,” they wrote.

There was one problem: swine flu had just broken out in Mexico, and it wasn’t long before the virus went north. And very quickly, Kelloggs’ claims were rubbished by the city attorney of San Francisco, who demanded Kelloggs either prove its claim (in light of the genuine health concerns of swine flu) or withdraw it.

Kelloggs said the claim was still genuine – but pulled it anyway.

3. Crystal Clear Amoco Ultimate petrol makes your engine better! Eh, no.

In 1996, everything was going clear. Pepsi had brought out a new transparent Coke (later lampooned by The Simpsons), while a new mineral water (‘Clearly Canadian’) was selling brilliantly well too.

Amoco Oil had, at the time, been producing a perfectly transparent petrol without much commercial success. So in order to capitalise on the trend for clear products, declared the product to be “better for the environment and your engine”.

This, naturally enough, was rubbish. And, naturally enough, was rubbished. The FTC stepped in, and the campaign was quickly quashed.

4. The Miracle Blade – not miraculous enough to stop you bleeding

Hat-tip to Cracked for this one. Here, 30 seconds in, is a man apparently ruining his dinner by expertly cutting a turkey using a knife that isn’t the one promised.

So, customer! Replace that knife that does the job you need it to – with a knife that does all of that and more! Such as – well, you know. Making very large gashes in ones own body, and causing more blood loss than the stabbing of a tomato (0:28 in above video).

Said one customer on a website apparently deceased:

well I ended up in the emergency room with stitches …. just be careful they are really quite sharp.”


5. Pinkham’s Vegetable Compound: Less vegetable, more… something else

Lydia Pickham was one of the world’s first female hypermagnates. A pharmacist (sorry, “medicine woman”) by trade, the 19th century marketeer – overburdened with complaints from her peers about womanly ailments – bought out a herbal remedy based on vegetable extracts to counter such problems as menstrual and menopausal pains. She sold it for $1 a bottle, and at peak sold 400,000 bottles a year.

Of course, it transpired in later years that the product in question didn’t contain as much vegetable extract as was first assumed. In fact, less than 1% of the bottled product was vegetable. Almost 20% of it was… alcohol.

Which would explain its runaway commercial success. The recommended single-tablespoon dosage every two to four hours meant that over a day, the housewife would have consumed almost two modern pints’ worth of alcohol – enough to change anyone’s mood for the better.

~

And, because you were wondering, here’s the video of the Pomegranite President defending the claim that his product combats ED:

What are your favourite examples of bad advertising? Let us know in the comments.