WITH STRAIGHT-A Leaving Cert student Cillian Fahy opting to sell his Leaving Cert study notes – on eBay – in an attempt to help him fund his college education, we though it would be interesting to see what other ways there would be to further your academic career without just buckling down and studying.

So, with that, we present to you: Five Ways To Kinda Fake An Academic Pedigress.

1. Buy it (example: “Dr” Gillian McKeith)

Well-known nutritionist Gillian McKeith doesn’t really have much of a friend in The Guardian’s ‘Bad Science’ author Ben Goldacre. In 2007 Goldacre, noting that McKeith’s PhD thesis from the American Association of Nutritional Consultants was “unavailable”, unlike PhD theses submitted to ‘accredited’ schools.

Thus, he submitted an application for the PhD course in the name of Hettie Goldacre, and was sent back a PhD certificate in Hettie’s name on receipt of a $60 processing fee. The only hitch? The fact that Hettie Goldacre was Ben’s long-deceased cat.

Graduates of Trinity College, meanwhile, along with counterparts in Cambridge and Oxford, are allowed to buy the title of MA once they’ve held a Bachelor’s degree from there for three years. The idea is that the universities don’t award the MA for traditional study (in Trinity’s case it’s an MLitt) so anyone in the know should know the Master of Arts title hasn’t been earned, per se.

In fact, the MA title is probably cheaper than Cillian Fahy’s French notes – which, at the time of asking, seemed to be commanding over €1,000 – albeit with a series of bids placed by what would appear a hoax bidder.

2. Do something cool to get an honorary doctorate (example: “Dr” Ian Paisley)

This is probably a slightly more common way of getting things done but, awkwardly, the universities awarding honorary doctorates expect you to have done something fairly kick-ass if you’re going to get your doctorate this way.

For example UCD, when celebrating its 150th anniversary in 2004, gave out a clutch of PhDs to the likes of RTÉ’s Charlie Bird, dancer Michael Flatley, Irish Voice editor Niall O’Dowd and aid worker Christina Noble.

In fact, honorary doctorates from UCD are issued commonly – just check the list of people who’ve received them. Seems like an easy way of doing things, provided you’ve been the CEO of a major charity. Or donated a shedload of money to the institution.

This is how Ian Paisley (excuse us – that’s Baron Bannside) got his doctorate – as an honorary measure from Bob Jones University in South Carolina.

3. Just blatantly lying about it (example: Bertie Ahern)

Ooh, controversial! But even in his own autobiography Bertie didn’t assert that he’d gotten a degree from UCD. While his book says he went to the College of Commerce in Rathmines, it doesn’t say he achieved any qualification.

At various other times the former Taoiseach has been said to have attended LSE, while UCD has confusingly included Ahern in a list of alumni – despite have previously been forced to clarify that it couldn’t find mention of him on its books.

It’s one way to get the credentials to be a Minister for Finance and then a head of government though, isn’t it?

4. Cheating (example: a number of Boards.ie Leaving Cert forum readers)

Leaving Cert. Bottle of Coca-Cola. Insert cog notes inside the label of bottle. Or, alternatively, scan and photoshop a Coke label, replacing the list of ingredients in fine print with the small hints to the answers you need prompting to remember.

Wham, bam, illicitly-earned grade, thank you ma’am.

5. Develop an inappropriate relationship with an academic (example: you tell us)

Academics: long hours, chalky hands, slightly strange but endearing characteristics, massive pay cheques. That ill-gotten degree is just a night away.