It would be interesting to do the same test on parents who have walked the floor for hours with crying babies, to see how parenthood can dampen that natural response!

If a baby cries too much just put on a grotesque Halloween mask and scare them , they stop crying! Then after a few seconds when they start bawling again give them another big fright and they stop again! Repeat this process several times and they will go all quiet and just shiver a bit … Success ! now go back to whatever important thing you were doing before the little brat started bawlin

Yes they need to cry, it’s how their brains are ‘wired ‘ for want of a better word.
I suppose you think that children or even adults don’t need to cry either.
Emotions need to be embraced, bad or good, it’s not ok to tell children not to get upset and brush it under the carpet, they need to know we understand why they’re upset, and that sometimes its ok to feel like that.

@ Ryan, I understand your confusion about my earlier comments, I’ll give you an example to try clarify it. If my 3 year old cries over a popped balloon and cries I would never tell him ‘ stop that silly crying, it’s only a balloon ‘ like I have heard many parents say, instead I would give a hug and tell him I’m sorry he’s upset and I know he loved it and it will be ok.
It’s the same in any situation he’s upset about.
My problem is people fixated on stopping babies and children from phsycally crying when it’s only natural.
I’m glad you found a technique that works for you and long may it continue.

@ Ryan, you can’t ‘fill babies ‘ with love or time or anything else for that matter because the more you give them the more they demand ( so says a world leading child behaviour expert )
I have two children, one who could have been described as perfectly happy and contented and the other who is just simply a crier, and I didn’t treat either of them differently.
I have allowed my children to cry in various circumstances because that’s what babies need to do, eg. allowing them to cry at night so they can learn to self soothe and settle back to sleep if they wake.
We all parent differently and are bringing up little individuals.
Be careful in thinking you have the winning formula, you might eat your words in years to come. . . .

Let me clarify what I mean Ryan. When my 18 month old cries because he hurts himself or if he’s sad I comfort him, of course. If my 3 month old cries I check everything to make sure his needs are met. Both babies have been in a routine from very early so generally I know their needs have been met. By self soothing I mean, if in the middle of the night they wake I give them time to settle themselves back to sleep. Obviously if my newborn cries I check him quickly. But I’m don’t jump the second they cry because I believe that the baby could settle themselves. I don’t believe in crying it out without parental intervention but I do allow my babies appropriate autonomy.

I have read plenty of material on the subject, particularly on sleeping and it’s effects on all aspects of childhood.
I’d particularly recommend Dr. Marc Weissbluth.
I in no way said it was ok to leave a new baby to cry, techniques like that don’t start till around 5 month of age where brain damage is not possible and learning to self soothe is possible.
My point was more about society’s view on people feeling like they should be happy all the time and anything less is failure.
It’s not ok to dismiss feelings or suppress emotions from infanthood right through to adulthood.
Just look at our suicide rates because not feeling ok and depression is taboo?

Well said.

Agree 100% Joanna ! Babies cry ! It’s a fact ! Once all their needs have been satisfied they can still cry ! It doesn’t mean they’re being neglected ! I must be reading the same expert opinions as you that say it is important for a baby to learn to self soothe and have a little independence. They way they grow to be confident kids !

Cita, no matter which expert you believe in there will always be an opposing opinion !! There are several ‘qualified’ experts who support the self soothe and learning independence methods, an example being David Coleman, child psychologist. Every parent will have their own opinion on how they want to bring up their kids. It would be a very boring world if we were all the same. ! I don’t think anyone advocated for controlled crying, we just said its ok for babies to cry ! My 18 month old cried as a baby and he is now a happy little man, on the other hand another toddler I know who was never allowed to cry as a baby now cries over everything !

Don’t think they are ‘expert’ opinions, they are those nannies who usually have no child care development qualifications, no child psychology degrees masters or even a simple diploma, no medical training or are from a man called Ferber who wrote his ‘theories before he had children of his own and totally completely and utterly recanted them once he did and said noooooo parent should allow their child to cry.

Please check out the damage uncomforted crying and the resultant release of cortisol can do to the babies growing brain before you ‘leave’ your child to cry cause some self appointed ‘expert’ writes a best seller ‘promising’ parents a full nights sleep at the expense of the long term health, psychological development and health of our children. Perhaps check out some more credible researchers who are actually qualified like Helen Ball or Dr James McKenna etc next time.

hags! some babies cry for nothing

You definitely can’t ignore a crying baby. A baby only cries when it has needs that need to be filled, fill them and you have a happy baby. The trick to being a good parent is foreseeing these needs before they progress into a tantrum. Works for me, I’m told I have the happiest baby in the world