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#Humour

# humour - Friday 29 April, 2011

From The Daily Edge LIVE: (Not) Cardinal Brady’s liveblog from the royal wedding Royal Wedding

LIVE: (Not) Cardinal Brady’s liveblog from the royal wedding

TheJournal.ie’s resident columnist and spiritual leader gives us his blow-by-blow account of Kate and Wills’ Big Day from (just outside) Westminster Abbey.

# humour - Wednesday 27 April, 2011

From The Daily Edge Caption competition: The semi-State sector's guide to photoshoots Caption Competition This post contains images

Caption competition: The semi-State sector's guide to photoshoots

The ESB’s Padraig McManus climbs to greater heights with enormous dignity.

# humour - Friday 8 April, 2011

Column: Cardinal Rules Part 19. The news gospel according to Me.

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us his take on the news stories of the past seven days. Gay cavemen, Kevin Myers and the discovery of a digital relic of St Therese – now THAT’s what he calls a headline.

# humour - Friday 1 April, 2011

The week in photos Week In Photos This post contains images

The week in photos

This is the week that was, in pictures.

From The Daily Edge Who's fooling who? The PR rush on April 1 April Fools

Who's fooling who? The PR rush on April 1

Never mind the media – companies and brands have been trying to pull the wool over for a bit of publicity today… so here it is.

Column: Cardinal Rules Part 18. Diary of a priest stuck in a confessional.

This week, the (not) Primate of All Ireland brings us exclusive extracts from Fr Brendan Phelan’s short but intense journal, Without Hope, about his five days locked in a confession box.

# humour - Tuesday 29 March, 2011

The Daily Fix: Tuesday Daily Fix This post contains videos

The Daily Fix: Tuesday

TheJournal.ie’s round-up of the evening’s top stories – and the interesting tidbits of the day.

# humour - Friday 25 March, 2011

Column: Cardinal Rules Part 17. How to handle a scandal.

The (not) Primate of All Ireland imparts his hard-earned wisdom on how to cope with the fallout of scandalous revelations. Jazz hands are an important distraction tool.

Caption competition: Give Enda Kenny a hand

Taoiseach Kenny is almost out of the frame in this pic from the EU summit – we ask YOU: What was he thinking?

# humour - Thursday 17 March, 2011

Column: Cardinal Rules Part 16. The REAL story of St Patrick.

The (not) Primate of All Ireland unearths exclusive extracts from The Book of St Patrick, the definitive biography of our national patron saint. Maybe.

# humour - Friday 11 March, 2011

The week in photos Week In Photos This post contains images

The week in photos

This is the week that was, in pictures.

Cardinal Rules Part 15: On Lenten bootcamp for priests

The (not) Primate of All Ireland brings the Fathers on a pre-Easter retreat of expiation and self-flagellation. They also promise to give up pink M&Ms for Lent.

# humour - Tuesday 8 March, 2011

From The Daily Edge Book of blank pages becomes surprise Amazon bestseller Bestseller

Book of blank pages becomes surprise Amazon bestseller

The online retailer sells out of the novelty notebook, masquerading as an expose on what men worry about – other than sex.

# humour - Saturday 25 December, 2010

Cardinal Rules Part 6: On the birth of Jesus

The Not Primate of All-Ireland retells the story of the shepherds as they meet the awkwardly-titled Lamb of God.

# humour - Monday 20 December, 2010

Cardinal Rules Part 5: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan

As Christmas 2010 draws close, (not) Cardinal Sean Brady shares his memories of a Christmas past.

# humour - Tuesday 14 December, 2010

Cardinal Rules Part 4: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan

To get you all into the festive spirit, our satirical columnist presents a pre-Christmas story from the Bible: The Visitation.

# humour - Monday 6 December, 2010

Cardinal Rules Part 3: An occasional column (not) by the Primate of All Ireland, healer and crisp fan

In which our hero meditates on the nature of pain, suffering, sainthood – and concludes that Dermot Ahern is doing it all wrong.

# humour - Friday 10 September, 2010

From The Daily Edge TAKE 5: Friday's obligatory funny animal clip Take 5 This post contains videos

TAKE 5: Friday's obligatory funny animal clip

Think you’ve got a monkey on your back? Take a look at this guy.

# humour - Thursday 12 August, 2010

“CONFUSIONISM” is the ancient Chinese system of philosophical teaching and Galileo discovered AIDS – at least that’s what some third-level students wrote in their exams.

The Times Higher Education Supplement (THE) has published its annual list of exam howlers and it makes for interesting reading.

The competition asks academics to send in their favourite exam cock-ups.

One student in the University of Dundee said “Vagina Henderson” was one of the first modern nurses in the 20th century – the woman’s name was actually Virginia.

A journalism student wrote a piece on “complimentary” medicine, rather than complementary medicine. Her lecturer saw the bright side, however, saying: “I quite liked the idea of picking up a pill and it saying nice things to you to make you feel better.

She also appreciated a fashion article that described the subject’s sense of style as very “sheikh”.

Another student said Polari – a coded language spoke by gay men to disguise their sexuality – was an ancient language of the Inuit, while another wrote about “anus” crime, before the lecturer realised they had meant “heinous” crime.

Finally, one student of Warwick Business School signed an email off with the line “I am sorry if this caused you any incontinence” – oops!

# humour - Monday 26 July, 2010

TWO OCTOGENARIAN NUNS have become fugitives in France.

Sister Marie-Daniel, 86, and Sister Saint-Denis, 82 fled their convent in the French Riviera when they received news that they’d be forced to move into a retirement home.

It may have just been the first time the sisters ever revolted but the move, some 250miles away from their coastal retreat.

For two weeks the nuns have hiding out in a flat owned by a Christian charity resisting all pleas that they return to their convent, the Sisters of Saint-Joseph in Roquebrune-Cap-Martin.

A third nun had wanted to flee but broke her leg beforehand.

[caption id="attachment_4850" align="alignnone" width="300" caption="Roquebrune_Cap-Martin - would you leave?"][/caption]

A convent insider had told France’s Soir newspaper that the nuns were furious at being “put out to grass” in a retirement home after 50 years at the nunnery.

They said: “They decided they wanted to jump before they were pushed.

“They would rather take their chances out in the world than have to live out their days in some far away rest home.”

Sister Colette Philibert, the region’s chief nun, said: “All we want is for our two dear sisters to make contact with us and return to the convent.”

The nun’s run is reminiscent of the 1990 film of the same name that saw two fugitives pose as nuns.

# humour - Thursday 22 July, 2010

WE’VE BEEN CURSING Thierry Henry ever since THAT incident. There’s always been hope that he’d get his comeuppance, and certainly France’s premature exit from the World Cup was some satisfaction, but is it enough?

Today at The Journal.ie, we can reveal footage from the future that shows what will happen to Henry when he reaches the pearly gates of Heaven.


The Late Thierry Henry

# humour - Wednesday 21 July, 2010

THERE’S NOTHING FUNNY about Mel Gibson, or the tapes of Gibson ranting at his ex Oksana Grigorieva. The sixth tape appeared on Radaronline yesterday. Oksana accuses the Braveheart star of hitting her and their infant daughter in an argument caught on tape.

The tapes were released in recent days after the couple’s relationship broke down over two months ago. And while there’s nothing amusing about the tapes, or indeed the breakup, comedian Jimmy Kimmel has found a way to make light of the situation by getting a seven-year-old to voice Mel Gibson.

Here’s how…

# humour - Tuesday 13 July, 2010

TALK TO JOE – when ever you bloody well want to! As part of our weekly Tubesday feature we scour the net to bring you the best of Youtube, but this week we’ve found something a little different and believe it definitely deserves your attention.

Bob Byrne, an Irish born writer and publisher has just launched his new site Clam Nuts and he’s added two new games. One is a Joe Duffy soundboard, giving you the opportunity to put words in Joe Duffy’s mouth. You can surprise you’re Granny on her birthday with some shocking phrases from her favourite RTE star. Perhaps best not to give her a heart-attack though.

We were going to suggest a few word combinations, but frankly they were a tad too filthy for this site, so we’ll leave them up to your imagination. Needless to say there is endless fun here.

Also worth a look is the Ass or Egg game – self explanatory really, but good fun! Some pictures however, may not be ‘office friendly’.

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