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Comment #6609702 by Nick Drake

Nick Drake Oct 22nd 2017, 10:46 PM #

I’ve just asked my wife and she assures me that she does not suffer from PTSD. I also asked my wife why she sometimes wears tight fitting and perhaps revealing clothing (not that I mind), she said that when she feels sexy she likes to wear clothes that show this, she has no problem if guys look at her, she does not feel ‘leered’ at, if she had a problem with it (which she doesn’t) she would dress the opposite. That’s not to say that if I saw a very attractive women and looked at her she would not feel leered at, it’s very subjective. My wife is a confident, smart and well educated woman. She understands that men look at women they are attracted to, she admits that she checks out good looking men too. Unwanted sexual harassment like stalking, or touching is very inappropriate, but like my wife, I’m glad that I ‘checked her out’ 10 years ago, as we are now very happily married with 2 great kids. While we both accept that certain behaviours are unacceptable, just like in the case of the anonymous author who feels sexually harassed since the age of 11, but we also both feel that in general people need to lighten the hell up and stop taking themselves so bloody seriously.

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Read the article where this comment appeared:

#MeToo: 'I have been drugged twice by men I knew'

#MeToo: 'I have been drugged twice by men I knew'

#MeToo was spawned by the Harvey Weinstein revelations and is where women are detailing incidences of sexual assault and harassment online.

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    Favourite Cultural Marxist
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    Oct 22nd 2017, 11:20 PM

    @Nick Drake: Rape is serious

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    Favourite Siobhán Ni Mhurchú
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    Oct 22nd 2017, 11:50 PM

    @Nick Drake: great comment Nick !.. summed it up nicely!

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    Favourite Felicity Hensen
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 12:42 AM

    @Nick Drake: Maybe you could volunteer at one of the rape crisis centres and tell all the clients that they should just “lighten the hell up”, because that would totally fix the problem of sexual violence and the consequences of sexually based crimes. If only they’d thought of it sooner. Your wife’s experiences are not another person’s experiences. This is not some innocuous topic that people are taking too seriously. This has serious, and sometimes life long, consequences for people.

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    Favourite Nick Drake
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 6:37 AM

    @Cultural Marxist: Rape is serious, you are correct.

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    Favourite Nick Drake
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 6:41 AM

    @Felicity Hensen: I guess you did not read my comment fully or if you did you fail to understand my points.

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    Favourite Felicity Hensen
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 7:57 AM

    @Nick Drake: Oh I read it, several times, because I wanted to make sure I was understanding what you were saying. And what you appeared to do was trivialise the prevalence of sexual violence throughout the globe because being checked out was all you apparantly gleaned from the article; and how, in your opinion, it’s not all that bad and is indeed what some people are aiming for when choosing their outfit.

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    Favourite A H
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 2:15 PM

    @Nick Drake: But you were the same age as your wife and she wasn’t a minor, Nick, this isn’t a one size fits all argument and also women tweeting me too about having their a*se felt in a bar is annoying me because that isn’t the same as a man forcing himself on a pre pubescent girl, that’s serious stuff. The other stuff is down to the grown ups, as you said.

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    Favourite Missyb211
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    Oct 23rd 2017, 2:27 PM

    @Nick Drake: ask your wife if she was ever subjected to unwanted sexual advances would she then feel comfortable to be leared at? Would you not agree that if something like that did happen to you, it would make you more ‘alert’ to men leering at you ie. not just checking you out or taking a sneaky look when you’re not looking but blatently staring, wanting you to know what’s on their mind whether they want you to or not. How would you react if a daughter of yours said ‘dad, a man just leared at me, looked me up and down and made me feel very uncomfortable” ? would you say ‘ah look daughter, he’s only checking you out. He’s only doing what we men do. He likes your body and is thinking about having sex with you. Don’t fret” No? Well don’t say it to someone else’s daughter

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