“Too many women in too many countries speak the same language, of silence…”

― Hillary Rodham Clinton

DURING MY FIRST pregnancy, I was silenced. Upon sharing my happy news with a female colleague, I was told not to tell anyone I was pregnant and certainly not to tell any clients.

On International Women’s Day, I hope that we, as a society, can support and value all women and the contributions and choices that we make to society.

I am a mother, a solicitor, a sole practitioner.

Being a mother was not always something that I envisioned. I was always very focused on my career. Choosing to, and becoming, a mother has been the best and the hardest part of life. Life is happy, fun, chaotic, disorderly, routine, loud, sad, hilarious and wonderful.

I am the sum of my parts, I am a better mother because of my career and a better solicitor and business owner because I am a mother. I always emphasise this when talking to younger solicitor colleagues or any younger woman. I am more time efficient, more focused, and I am more ambitious — and I do use the word ‘ambitious’.

I recall telling a friend in the past that I was ambitious in a matter-of-fact way and that colleague reacted with shock. It seems this remains a word that women, and mothers, should not use about themselves. I am ambitious, and ambitious in both my personal and professional life. I want professional success. I strive and enjoy working very hard for the professional and financial accolades that it brings.

The illusion of balance

I am also ambitious in my personal family life. I love being with my children, travelling with them, reading, doing art and cooking with them. Before I had my children, even when I had my first child, I would have been afraid to say this. I would have felt judged, that I wasn’t as ambitious or as professional, or as good a solicitor if it was known that I had a family, that I would somehow be lesser. In fact, I am more for them and because of them.

“Balance” is impossible. In the ebbs and flow of life, I can do all of these things some of the time and some of those things all of the time. It is a constant juggling act. It is vitally important to me to be the best mother and also the best I can be professionally. I am intensely grateful for all the support and assistance given to me in my career and practice, which has grown and flourished over the years and is a multi-award-winning legal practice focused on the sole area of family law.

I continuously feel privileged and honoured to work in the justice system. Not only that, but I never fail to recognise that clients come to me at the hardest time of their lives and impart trust in me to guide them through this process. It is a privilege for me to act for my clients and to achieve the best possible outcome for them.

Women supporting women

Female colleagues in practice, and female colleagues in the Law Society, have been invaluable in my career. Indeed, this article is a case in point. My littlest is now two. I have found that having a baby, it can be hard to “come back to life”, and to not feel anonymous. I urge all women to reach out to family, friends and work colleagues when they have had a baby, or really any significant life change, to offer support and acknowledgement.

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To turn back to my story about pregnancy and babies; for my first pregnancy, nobody knew I had a baby or had been pregnant and I never mentioned it. I then got pregnant with twins. Now there was no choice, I proudly tipped the scales at 100 kilos while pregnant and so, the jig was up!

The world did not fall apart. My profession did not fall away, my career did not fall away and my clients did not fall away. In fact, quite the opposite. Being more authentic opened up whole new opportunities for me, and my business flourished and continues to grow.

I now feel it is my duty to tell younger colleagues who may be interested in having a family and indeed any woman, that having a family and having children should not and will not hamper your career. It can only enhance your career and your life if that is your life choice. I believe that we should discuss this more, be more open and honest and celebrate all the hats that women wear. I know that I am a better person for all of my roles, I am a better mother, person, solicitor, business owner, wife, colleague and friend.

On International Women’s Day this year, I will tell my daughter, that it is exhilarating, exhausting, and utterly joyous to be an ambitious, independent, successful mother and professional career woman in life. And that she should expect and accept nothing less. Of course, as any parent knows, I’ll be lucky if she listens!

Susan Webster is the owner and principal solicitor at Susan Webster & Company Solicitors in Maynooth, Co. Kildare.