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good vibrationsTHE MAKERS OF a new vibrator made exclusively for right-handed people are claiming that it can make them smarter, and more sexually satisfied.
They also say that the Dextrus vibrator can be used in the workplace, right in front of colleagues.
“What is this smut?”, we hear you cry!
LELO, the company behind the Dextrus says a global survey has found that left-handed people have it all; they’re more creative and intelligent AND they are up to 71 per cent more sexually satisfied.
So, they’ve developed this contraption “to level the playing field”:
According to LELO (and this scientific study) the 90 per cent of the population who are right-handed experience pleasure from the left side of the brain, which is more linear and analytical.
Left-handers meanwhile get their kicks from the right side of the brain, which is “responsible for innovative and sensual thinking”.
The solution? Right-handers need to stimulate the right hand side of the brain during sex by holding the Dextrus in their left hand.
Repeat continuously during lovemaking to experience the intensity and passion we’re dubbing ‘The Left Handed Orgasm’.
And that’s not all folks… you can bring it out of the bedroom too, using it in the workplace to feel smarter and more creative.
Just a few discreet squeezes at your desk or water cooler and that corner office will be yours in no time.
Right so. See yiz by the water cooler.
Update: Sadly, the company behind this have retracted their statement and said the right-handed vibrator is not a reality… yet. Lelo added:
This is actually a product we have in development. We’re using this [the previous announcement] as a way of gauging reactions to it and seeing if we could bring it to full development.
Er, watch this space?
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As a lefty I really feel sorry for the rest of you if this what 71% more sexually satisfied feels like!
Publishing this story before April 1st is a bit, ehhhh, premature…
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fleshlight
For the ambidextrous man.
Thanks Sam, I can never unsee that.
Ah you coulda put the NSFW tag on that post…I expect a call from IT in the morning
As someone who works in IT I can assure you, this is not even on the radar. You should SEE the stuff that gets looked at daily by some people at work. It’s jaw dropping.
Anyone that buys one of these will probably end up getting a bum deal .
Why is this inspired by Cadbury?
Because chocolate is orgasmic? :D
This is actually an advertisement.
Someone get Lisa McInerney one.
lol
Just put nail varnish on your left hand, lie on it until its dead – then work away…
This doesn’t make any sense, it’s not your HANDS that feel pleasure during sexual activity. Unless I’m doing it wrong? It doesn’t matter which hand you use as far as your brain is concerned.
A ball of Joy RIGHT??
So,which hand do you hold your kebab?
They will say that guards have been using them for years and criminals will say that some guards even came during interviews so they will be deemed inadmissible and thrown out!
You know ye can change the red thumbs to green now if you hit red by accident, just in case thanks guys :)
I red thumbed your last comment but changed it when I seen this one
Now we know why Emer McLysaght has the Mona Lisa smile!
There are gonna be loads of people in A+E with these yokes lost in their orifices..
Few days early for April fools
I’m a right hander and the girlfriend is a lefty, the sex is already A1 and this thing can make it better… let’s gave ya!
*have*
I so stupid. I didn’t know it was an advert. I thought it was an article.
How come ?
Lol! Short and pithy.
Merchant bankers are queueing up to buy them
Why the red thumbs for such a witty comment?
*Woosh
I know know the reason for the moniker of the author above, “EmertheScreamer”.
Perfectly descriptive name.
I know where they stick that statement
How does it work? Is it a remote control thingyamajigg?
This remote one looks very cool and I think most will love it http://freewebcams.vipcams4u.com/
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