12 is the age of legal responsibility so their parents should be held responsible, maybe if parents were named and shamed as having a child that is a bully? They say children that are bully’s have some kind of problem at home so getting their parents involved surely would be a good idea

Arresting a kid as young as 11 or 12 would just make them feel tougher though no? Sometimes the parents need to step in and other times the law does,it’s just finding the right punishment

Telling parents is always a good idea however the teachers are sometimes the bullies best friend in particular schools(had it in one primary school I went to) so I believe the Garda need much more powers in this area and the age of criminal responsibility needs to be lowered.

Sometimes it’s the teachers themselves. I was bullied out of school by the principle. He took a serious disliking to me a used to bring me to the office and slap my head over and over and push me around. My mother went in when it started getting really bad and he told her to go f**k herself. He did hit a few kids and I had been told that one or more had gone to the cops only to be told to piss off and stop bullshitting. All I could do was leave in the end.
If this happened to my son in school it would turn out very differently!!

I got thumbs down for that?

Emsy wemsy @
My son’s teacher didn’t help and in fact I put a complaint to the principal and the board of management . I had many discussions with her about my son’s situation but she ridiculed me and it wasn’t until I put my concerns in writing detailing incidents events and meetings, that things changed . Also the fact that I spolke to my son and told him that I had written to his teachers etc., let him see that I was on his side . Very often the bully is made feel they have no one
Steven Smyth @
Dont mind the thumbs , It could be a slip of the thumb or people just don’t agree with you , not that what you say is wrong .

*** often the Bullied is made feel they have no one …I need more coffee :)

There is truth in Steven’s comment. After years of persistent bullying by three or four other boys I finally gathered the courage – and the anger no doubt – together to strike back: I slapped one of the a***holes in the face when he grabbed me by the throat for no reason for the umpteenth time. And I slapped hard: he had a black eye. That was the end of my ordeal, just one blow! The f*ckers never bothered me anymore and I even befriended one of them later. I often wondered afterwards if I should have lashed out earlier and if I could have saved myself from years of grief by doing so… I’m not saying fighting back is THE solution but I sure did help in my case!

My brother was bullied in school pretty badly,I don’t know the exact details but he had a hard time. Years after school he met the guy who bullied him in a local pub. The guy felt awful about it and apologised to my brother,who didn’t know what to say except something like ‘it’s cool,forget about it’. About a year later that bully hung himself.
Some bullies do have real problems at home but others are just spoilt brats. I think the way you deal with a bully all depends on the type of person s/he is. You slap one and you get a bit of respect,you slap another and the bullying elevates and gets more and more extreme.
There’s no one way of handling it and when your in school it’s you alone,no matter how much people tell you they’ll help,that has to cope. It’s incredibly difficult.
Also,bullying isn’t always physical. Mentally being beaten down is just as bad and can be harder to stop too

@Emsy wemsy: I think you’re absolutely right about lots of bullies having serious problems themselves. And the example of your brother proves it. And yes, I too think that the effect of lashing back depends on the kind of person your bully is. But I know one thing too: doing nothing was no longer an option in my case. I had reached the point at which I could no longer bow down, take it in over and over again and suffer in silence afterwards. Even now, forty odd years on, I still wonder what actual impact years of bullying had on my life. I was bullied out of plain, ugly jealousy. I was better at school and my bullies just couldn’t handle that. I think that made me weary of simply being good at things for a long long time afterwards. Bullying turned me into an underachiever. Only now I’m starting to see that and only since a couple of years I can be proud of myself and my capabilities again. That’s a pretty high price to pay.

Patrick
You did right …I taught my son to say F**k off….. He had to practise it , finally at a football match where he was playing in opposition to the bully and of course bully boy was making the most of every opportunity to ”tackle ” my boy …He caught the said bully by the shirt and screamed at him to F**k off. All it took was this one time end of story . THe bvully is still abully and his problems have not been resolved but my son is not his victim and he is even able to defend others and stand up to said bully when he sees him being horrible to other kids. .

Good for you Susie! I’m sure your son will be grateful later for having been taught to stand up for himself. He will benefit from that for the rest of his life. The essence is indeed refusing to be a victim. But I know that’s not easy, not at all!

Patrick
You said it all when you said that because you were bullied you were an under achiever …. That was me too. :) Not any more however and to be honest it is thanks to sites like this I have discovered that other people suffered just like I did. You are right . It is refusing to be a victim ! Well done you :)

@Susie: Well done you too! :-) Yes, it’s good to find recognition. It has finally enabled me to accept what has happened and to move on. I’m greedier more than ever now to achieve things and to show the world I’m good at what I do. Speaking of which: I must get back to work now, so thanks very much for your contributions. Have a great day!

Patrick and Susie and others, you’ve got me on your side. I’m pretty big, so I didn’t get hassled as much as you did, I presume. Psychologically, though it’s the same .or similar, regardless of size. The bastards. Some of these sadists would only stop when some of the pain that they were inflicting upon others, was inflicted upon them. A brother of a very famous Irish golfer was a notorious bully in my school. During breaks, he would routinely terrorise and batter any, and all students who crossed his path. Why he did this nobody knew. What was known was that he enjoyed it. One day, after running out of easy victims, he put his sights upon a rarer target. The easy targets were gone. What could he do, he thought. There was nothing for it, he thought. I’ll, just have to lash out at the nearest person (bearing in mind that children don’t count as children) to me. It was a mistake, a grave mistake. He hit a future economist, and he hit back

In fact bullying makes me very angry and it must be dealt with immediately , no pussyfooting around issues. Involve the t.eachers the parents and th students as far as possible

Susie as a victim of severe bullying I’ve had to thumb that down, bullying is an element of jealousy not a feeling of superiority. I had more than the scumbags who bullied me did or indeed do. If anything they feared that I was better than them but they forget the most crucial thing in life: its not what you have, its what you do and how you do it.

Karl Doyle
I agree with you and I can see how you misunderstood me ,,,My poor way of explaining …..
It is my belief that a bully has unresolved issues and they take them out on children they think are ”better” than them ,or ”have” more than they do etc.,.
It is the bully who feels inferior
and they belittle their victim , by picking on them and remarking on every little thing their victim does. I too was bullied ,and two years ago my son was bullied . I dealt with that and the bully still tries to impose his will but I empowered my son and he now is very happy and can see for himself what this little thug is up to . My son is much happier and is not afraid any more.

. So true . Hidden suffering !

You’re right Pavel. Because of what happened to me I’ve made sure my kids would never do that and I’d like to think they’d have the sense to stand up for anyone who was being bullied.
Someone just said to me ‘your suffering in the past, becomes your strength in the future’ I’ve never heard that before, and it’s very true in this sense.