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Your one-night stands: The good, the bad and the ugly...

Dirty talk, cheaters, and un-groomed area disasters – you’ve seen it all…

shutterstock_44422087 Source: Shutterstock/langhoff99

ONE-NIGHT STANDS can be great, awkward or just down right regrettable. While the rest of the world is loved up this weekend, we wanted to find out what the other side get up to when sex comes into a night’s plans, unexpectedly.

We asked people about their experiences of one-night stands, from the good, the bad and the ugly.

I met this guy on a night out with my cousin, he was a friend of his. We were flirting loads and he had a small after-party at his because his parents were away.

Anyway, it was looking like it was going THAT way and it had been a while since I’d done any pubic hair maintenance. SO… I ended up using a man’s razor I found in the bathroom to tidy myself up a bit. In the end, it was so dark in the room and the sex was over so quickly that I needn’t have bothered.

shutterstock_66800041 Source: Shutterstock/Piotr Marcinski

“I was out one night with some friends when I got chatted up by a guy at the bar. He was cute, although a little younger than me, I thought, hey, why not? He was a lot of fun, chatty and had a good sense of humour.

We ended up sharing a taxi, which ended up at his hotel (turned out he was up from the country with the lads). Whatever you want to say about younger men, it was a good night all round… until early the next morning, in the cold light of day.

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I just didn’t know how this was going to go down, so while he was sleeping, I decided to slip out. I then did something, that I can only presume I saw in a movie some time. I left one of my newly printed-up business cards on the night stand. Don’t ask me why, I just thought it would be polite rather than not saying goodbye.”

shutterstock_41010646 Source: Shutterstock/krivenko

I was out at a fancy party with a big group of friends and got chatting to a guy outside. First impressions were: funny, smart and good-looking (great hair). Tick, tick, tick. Later in the night, he came over to pull me on the dance floor. Lots of laughing. Tick.

Laughing being the best game-plan, we ended up in the same taxi. To his place. We had a drink, fooled around some and then went to bed. We were both a bit reluctant, even in our hazy drunkenness, to cross the finish line so we went to sleep.

Oddly enough, we had a change of heart the next morning. Tick.

There was a suggestion of breakfast but we decided against it and he offered a lift home. Grand. At that point, the idea of getting back into the high heels had whipped my mind back into real life. I needed to be on my couch with a cup of tea, as soon as possible. I was not dreaming of getting to know my bedfellow or walking hand-in-hand down Howth pier. But then he got ‘serious face’.

“I should probably tell you something.”

“Oh, yeah?”

“I have a girlfriend.”

Oh. I was instantly guilty. “Did I not ask him did he have a girlfriend?” I thought, racking my brain back through the dancing, the drinking and the initial chat-up line.

But hold on. It only took that question to change my guilt to annoyance. Was it my job to check if he was single? Was I naive to presume he was? No, it wasn’t and I wasn’t.

He wanted me to feel guilty. That’s what he needed. It’s the only reason he told me. He wanted me to share his guilt. To make me feel that I had done something wrong with him. That somehow I was complicit. That we were in this together.

There was no onus on him to tell me the next morning. I didn’t ask for his number – or get upset that he didn’t want mine. He should have let me go, happily or unhappily with my one-night-stand, and not get me caught up in his cheating mess. I wonder if he ever told his girlfriend? Or if he just awarded me that respect and impure honesty?

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“It was the last night of my summer holiday abroad. One week in Spain and no action. Nothing. We were in the local night club, when an attractive guy was giving me ‘the eyes’.
I thought, ‘he looks nice’.
Cut to a few hours later, we were literally hanging over the banister of the night club snogging the face off each other. It was either now or never, so we decided to leave together. But there was only one problem, we were both sharing apartments with a load of mates and we would have no privacy, so we decided to head to the beach.
It sounded nice. You always read about romantic spontaneous love-making on the beach, with the waves crashing.
It is not like that. Don’t get me wrong, the guy knew what he was doing, but the sand… the sand goes EVERYWHERE.”

“I almost dragged a shy friend of a friend home to mine, despite the fact that he seemed half afraid of me. We messed around a bit but were both rather drunk which might explain why he, er, lost the, er, wind in his sails halfway through.

As I was just edging my way out of heartbreak from a long-term relationship, I was a bit emotional (oh, and yeah, the drink) so I burst into tears. Then he burst into tears.

He didn’t stay the night.”

 

shutterstock_188012843 Source: Shutterstock/conrado

I was once with a friend of a friend after a night out. He was a nice guy, funny and sweet, until he got to the bedroom where he continued to whisper what I can only describe as ‘cheesy’ dirty words in my ear.
It was like he had watched too many movies and thought this is what women liked. I’m sure some women do, but to be honest it just distracted me, and it was not a turn on.

shutterstock_139884277 Source: Shutterstock/conrado

I once had a one-night stand with guy. I kind of knew him from around. We hit it off and had one wild night, no inhibitions, we just had a great time.
I wasn’t expecting anything from it, but the next morning, he was talking the usual crap I would expect from some lads, about how he really liked me, how he wanted to see me again. I thought that maybe, he was actually telling the truth.I recalled he had gone out with a girl for a good while before, although, I didn’t know her. We were talking about everything and past relationships came up. I asked innocently:

“So what happened between you and her, when did you break-up?”

“Oh, we’re still together,” he said innocently.

“Are you going to tell her about tonight?” I asked, in mild shock.

“Why would I do that?” he asked.

He got a swift kick out of the bed.

Read: The psychology of a one-night stand>

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