CONAN O’BRIEN OPENED the 97th Academy Awards by being announced as a ‘four-time Oscar viewer’, a dig at it being his first time to host the ceremony. 

Before he arrived on the Dolby Theatre stage, a skit showed him emerging from Demi Moore’s back in a spoof of her film The Substance, where she becomes ‘a younger, better version of herself’. 

“Hi, Demi. How are you?” O’Brien said as he began his monologue. “That was weird. Yeah, awkward. I’m missing some car keys.”

In a litany of quickfire jibes, he declared that Netflix led all film studios with 18 price increases “and I think they can beat that next year”, before taking aim at AI. 

“Before we go any further, I want you to know we did not use AI to make this show.
We would never do that. We used child labour.”

The late night talk show host then proceeded to poke fun at some of the biggest films of the night. “The Brutalist received ten nominations. I didn’t want it to end – and luckily, it didn’t,” he said, referencing the movie’s runtime of over three-and-a-half hours. 

Calling himself a Catholic boy, he took a dig at Conclave by telling the audience: “If you haven’t seen Conclave, its logline is ‘A movie about the Catholic Church, but don’t worry’.” 

O’Brien drew gasps from the crowd when he turned his attention to Anora, telling them the film “uses the F-word 479 times”.

“That’s three more than the record set by Karla Sofía Gascón’s publicist,” he joked in a pointed reference to the controversy surrounding the Emilia Pérez star’s resurfaced tweets. 

He then told Gascón: “If you are going to tweet about the Oscars, remember: my name is Jimmy Kimmel.”

‘Magic and madness of film’

O’Brien also called out best actor nominee Timothée Chalamet’s portrayal of the musician Bob Dylan from the stage, and the absence of Dylan himself: “Bob Dylan wanted to be here tonight, but not that badly.”

Conan O'Brien performing during his opening monologue at the Oscars. Alamy Stock Photo Alamy Stock Photo

In somewhat of a pivot, he then spoke about the wildfires in California, which caused devastation to homes and people in January.

“The people of Los Angeles have clearly been through a devastating ordeal,” O’Brien said. “In moments such as this, any award show can seem self indulgent and superfluous. But what I want to do is remember why we gather here tonight.

“The Oscars also shines the light on an incredible community of people you will never see. Craftspeople, artisans, technicians, costume people. Hard working men and women who have devoted their lives to making film.”

He also said that the Oscars and film does the “very best to unite us”.

“Next year, and for years to come through trauma and joy, this seemingly absurd ritual is going to be here.

The magic, the madness, the grandeur and the joy of film worldwide is going to be with us forever.

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Closing his monologue, in a dig aimed at the stars who spend a big too long onstage for their acceptance speeches, O’Brien then broke into a musical number titled ‘I Won’t Waste Time’, complete with backing dancers, the sandworm from Dune: Part Two playing chopsticks on the piano and a dancing Deadpool.

“Well, we’re 40 minutes ago,” he finished. 

O’Brien’s monologue had followed a short montage tribute to Los Angeles, which played as the ceremony began.

Ariana Grande and Cynthia Erivo then took to the stage to perform renditions of Somewhere Over the Rainbow from The Wizard of Oz and Diana Ross’s Home.

The Wicked co-stars then performed a duet of the musical’s most famous song, Defying Gravity.

Later in the ceremony, O’Brien brought out a team of firefighters and first responders who helped to battle wildfires in California. They received a standing ovation from the crowd. 

“On behalf of everyone in greater los Angeles, thank you for all that you do,” the host said, before inviting three of the Los Angeles Fire Department (LAFD) members to read the prompter. 

“Our hearts go out to all of those who have lost their homes and I’m talking about the producers of Joker 2,” LAFD captain Eric Scott said to widespread laughter.

“Damn, best delivery of the night,” O’Brien retorted.