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parents panel
Parents Panel: What one parenting worry just isn't worth the effort?
Untouched dinner plates, mystery sniffles, and a woefully messy car.
AS PART OF TheJournal.ie’s weekly Family Magazine, we wanted to create a space for parents to share their views. A place where mums and dads could share their experiences, lessons learned, and even mistakes along the way.
This week, we asked our panel to share the parenting worries they’ve learned to relax about, and the former must-haves or must-dos they now realise don’t matter all that much.
Here’s what they had to say…
Top L-R: Olly Keegan, Alan Dooley, Denise, Ken Hyland. Middle L-R: Ríona Flood, Ross Boxshall, Marta Lisiecka, Denise Cumiskey. Bottom L-R: Kait Quinn, Susannah O’Brien, Derek McInerney, Suzie Kelly
He doesn’t need a bath *every* night: Some babies wake up rather than settle down after a nice warm bath in the evenings, and Charlie is one of them. For ages, in an attempt to stick to the bedtime routine, we were giving him a bath every night even though it really wasn’t helping him ‘unwind’. Now, we give him a bath a few times a week.
- Kait Quinn
Almost everything is just a phase: Tymek is not even two yet, but already I’m realising that every stressful stage eventually passes, and it’s just another phase babies or kids have to go through in order to develop. That said, I doubt I’ll ever stop worrying completely…
- Marta Lisiecka
It’s okay if she won’t eat dinner: I stressed for three full years about my daughter’s appetite. I found it so difficult on days she wouldn’t eat her dinner. About two months ago, she had a bout of sickness and I gave up stressing about her eating. Once she was better, hey presto…she eats away by herself now.
- Denise
They don’t need to be wrapped in cotton wool: With my oldest two, now aged 21 and 16, I’ve learnt to stop worrying about their ability to know right from wrong, or to make smart decisions when it comes to drink, cigarettes or drugs. Instead, I trust that I have raised two strong minded kids who are not afraid to stand up and say no, and who know how to judge each situation.
- Denise Cumiskey
Not every cough or sniffle is a crisis situation: When the boys were younger, I’d panic at the slightest cough or runny nose. As they grew, I grew too, and I realised that kids are resilient as hell. I do of course take note when they are sick, give them medication, and bring them to the doctors, but I just don’t worry about it the same way I used to.
- Ken Hyland
Some days he’ll eat, some days he won’t: Food is the main thing we’ve learned not to stress about. There are times he’ll eat all round him, and days he’ll go on very little. Kids are great at regulating their own hunger, instead of being made to ‘clear the plate’. As long as he doesn’t have a temperature and is drinking water/milk, it’s okay.
- Olly Keegan
Wearing odd socks isn’t the end of the world: When the girls were small, neatness was a big thing for me. I had a real problem with holes in trousers, stains on clothes and odd socks. These days we live in the sticks, and I have two small boys in the house who want to live outside – so being fussy is just not an option. I still hate odd socks, but buying black ankle socks for all four of them has solved that!
- Susannah O’Brien
A mealtime routine isn’t always realistic: We used to worry about the kids not eating enough or not eating at the right times. We’ve since relaxed a lot. It’s not that they don’t want to eat, but instead they may not necessarily be hungry at the exact time we want them to be. We never hurry to clear away their meals as they may well return to eat more later.
- Ross Boxshall
Life with kids is always unexpected – and a dirty car is okay: I recall learning quite quickly when our first child was born to expect the unexpected, and that has stuck with me all the way through. If things don’t go to plan, not to worry. I’ve also learnt to relax about more minor worries, like keeping the car clean. Once the car works and doesn’t smell too bad, I’m happy.
- Alan Dooley
This week, we’re giving away two nights of R&R at The Kingsley in Cork. Enter here - and don’t forget to like TheJournal.ie’s Family Magazine on Facebook and Twitter!
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