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This week, a survey showed an increase of 163 per cent in women and children seeking refuge from domestic violence since last year. Here Ian Poulton, a Church of Ireland rector in Laois and Offaly, describes a visit he received from a domestic violence victim while in a former parish.
DEIRDRE REAPPEARED LAST week. A regular caller at the door during our eleven years in Dublin, her plight seemed to grow steadily worse during that time. Calling a fortnight before we left, she had been blunt, ‘I’m sure you’ll be relieved that you won’t have me calling with you’.
Things must have deteriorated further, for last week she found her way to a colleague’s door. Wary of the string of hard luck story tellers, he had quizzed her and she had pleaded with him to phone me. He called and I felt I should offer some sort of apology that she should have arrived at his door, that he should have to cope with the conversations that would arise. Encounters with Deirdre brought a sense of frustration with the welfare system and anger at a Constitution that protects abusive husbands.
Deirdre called one day in the spring two years ago. Her oldest child was to make her confirmation in the Catholic church in the area where they lived and her husband had (again) spent the entire household budget in bars and bookmakers. The Department of Social Welfare had written to her to say that the benefits received by the household meant she was above the cut off point for receiving a grant to buy the child some new clothes for the occasion.
Deirdre’s right eye was almost closed over. “He’s thumped you again?”
“You should see my back – it’s black and blue.”
“Why do you put up with it?”
She stared away into the middle distance. “Sometimes he is all right. Sometimes he is nice to me.”
“Sometimes he’s not. Is there no refuge to go to?”
“There is, but they can only accommodate four; I have five children.”
“I’ve known you ten years; where are you going to be in ten years’ time?”
It was a stupid question. She could hardly think about next week, let alone ten years.
“Can’t you put him out?”
“His name is on the rent book. The guards say that they can do nothing, if it is his house. They cannot put him out of his own house. You can phone them and ask them about it, if you don’t believe me.” Without hesitation, she reeled off the number of the Garda station – she had obviously had reason to call the number.
“Couldn’t you call down to the refuge? Maybe one morning a week; ask them if you could just call in for a cup of coffee?”
“Sure what would I say? I would have nothing to talk to them about. They would look at me and think I was some fool and I would just sit there and say nothing. They would look down on me.”
“You would go and talk to them just the way you talk to me. Sure, I’ve been to three universities; if you can come and talk to me, you can talk just as easily to them.”
“It’s not the same.”
“They would be friendly. Just tell them what you’re going through and ask if you can just call and talk to someone over a cup of coffee, just for an hour. Will you promise me you’ll do that?”
“You know I’m honest with you. I can’t keep that promise, so I’m not going to make it.”
“Would you at least think about it? You can’t live the rest of your life like this.”
“Maybe.”
I got together some money. It would be pointless to try to force a promise.
I vowed that I would contact someone; phone the refuge or something. I didn’t. What would they have done? What could they have done? If the guards were powerless, a small women’s group would not have been able to do much.
The words of the Constitution have a very hollow ring at times:
Article 411. The State recognises the Family as the natural primary and fundamental unit group of Society, and as a moral institution possessing inalienable and imprescriptible rights, antecedent and superior to all positive law.
2. The State, therefore, guarantees to protect the Family in its constitution and authority, as the necessary basis of social order and as indispensable to the welfare of the Nation and the State.
What about the inalienable right of a woman not to be thumped by her husband? What about the inalienable rights of children to live free from fear? What about the future of a family trapped in daily misery?
Ian Poulton is the rector of the Church of Ireland parishes of Clonenagh Group in Co Laois and Co Offaly, and a canon of Saint Patrick’s National Cathedral, Dublin. He writes a blog, where this piece first appeared. ‘Deirdre’ is a pseudonym.
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Basically impossible in any construction environment.
@Ruairi O Gorman:
Using public transport will also be impossible. Taxis, Buses, Trains
@Just Some Guy: masks, restricted numbers, security, hourly disinfection?
@Ruairi O Gorman: Big sites will be an issue but I know of a quite a few tradespeople who work in the domestic market that work alone.
@Just Some Guy: I’m not pushing for an end to restrictions, not alt all, in my opinion we should listen to the experts and get our numbers where they need to be before even thinking about it, but moving forward we have to look to how the rest of the works is managing and take our lead from there..
@Kate Flaherty: world not works!
@Ruairi O Gorman: talking through your hat there. We were working on a green fields site 500m long with 125 workers under the strictest of social distancing. We could have kept working and never needed to be shut down. Unless you know what youre talking about I’d stay quiet kid
@Mal Swan: how wide is the site and how many floors.
@Kate Flaherty: I have been working in a large essential workplace since this started, 500 people. Shifts were split, canteen spread out alcohol hand sanitizer all over the place and no confirmed case of covid to date and the workers come from up to 6 counties daily so it can be done. Ireland needs to get back working or we wont recover from this for decades. Isolate the vulnerable by all means (they have done a terrible job of that so far) but we have to learn to live with this virus like any other because we cant lockdown for 18 weeks never mind the 18 months a proper safely tested vaccine is going to take to develop.
@Mal Swan: so when the heavy stuff comes in that’s not 2 meter long how do the guys on the site lift it into place?
@Michael McGrath: wow what an amazing site you work on.Next you will be telling us the 100 or so migrant workers on site are living 3 to a house in places like Castleknock and travelling to site in their own individual
Toyota Landcruisers.
@Ruairi O Gorman: but construction companies work on a build, first second & third fixing and none of any stage requires the other trade to be present
@Agenda21: they only have to after bricks and mortar are complete, so they tail gate each other with the too many cooks to maximise turn-over time on the paymasters insistence. Every business that loses the fight will be gobbled up by a vulture fund.. Wake up
@Just Some Guy: I kkow, it dreadful isn’t it
@Ruairi O Gorman: Look the majority will do our best but there will always be ones that won’t listen to anything and will ignore.
We cannot continue with this lockdown because the damage to the country will be horrific. We will just have to figure out a way to live with it because it will come and go regardless of what we do. Get it under control now and deal with the ups and downs as they come and they will come.
At risk people are just going to ultra careful for as long as it takes there is no other choice.
@Ruairi O Gorman: it’s not impossible if they wear the correct PPE. Masks gloves etc like any other sector. The thing about bulidets sparks plumbers is that they generally have profit before all else. They simoly wint follow the rules and site health and safety wint enforce it. In the week before lockdown the unions came out and said all sites were observing social distancing but each and every site my brother delivered supplies to were working as normal…on top of each other
@ChuckE: Yeah like we have tonnes of excess PPE gear floating around the country that we can spare for the builders & trades people
@joe oneill: Are you accusing me of making it up because i can assure you I am not. This whole pandemic has beem mismanaged from the word go.People can go back to work with a few adjustments and provided they follow the guidelines put in place it shouldnt be an issue. And nxt time keep your sarky comments to yourself when you dont know what f your talking about
@Michael McGrath: people can’t go to shops and social distance but you expect us to believe construction workers will? Really stop trying to make a case for something we know won’t be followed. There are people here saying people “try their best” as some good thing. If you can’t actual DO then you can’t be allowed for others safety
@itzme: 100m and its all still in the basement level
@Kate Flaherty: Totally agree, life must go on. Reduce the risk as much as possible.
The lobby of people who are pushing for complete lockdown are mainly lunnie lefties who want to kill private commence. The appalling thing is the largest source of community transfer in Ireland was due to one of their nonsense protest marches the weekend of Paddys Day.
@Scotswahey: we lift it in with the tower crane I operate like we do with everything heavy
I work in retail and have been working all along, alot of customers haven’t respected distancing.
@Daniel Roche: in my local shops they have
@Daniel Roche: and yet people are not dropping like flies
@Daniel Roche: Whats your solution?, I keep hearing this nonsense with no actual way with dealing with this and not destroying the economy. This virus is not going anywhere we will just have to live with it and deal with what it brings, shutting down the country is not an option anymore end of.
@Peter Hughes: So whats your Solution then Peter, do we just let everyone do what they want and cross our fingers and hope that the healthcare system doesn’t collapse from the weight of all the inevitable extra infections this would cause?
@James Rowan: Well done to your local shops
@Peter Hughes: did I mention anything about destroying the economy, I’m working 50hrs a week, think I’m okay on that.
@523StarBar: did I say they were
@Daniel Roche: thing is, you queue up outside for ages then it’s a free for all in the shop!
And how will
It be adhered to in schools. Particularly primary and special needs. The children will not be able to understand the measures and teachers and sna will need to be much nearer than 2m. Will children and teachers have to wear masks and ppe which will be impractical for most children with special needs. I cannot understand why they would risk it especially with the emerging evidence of severe systemic inflamatory response to covid by some children which can result in admission into icu. These children do not display usual
Symptonms abut a few weeks later this can happen. It was first noted in italy and now in the uk. Dont treat our children as guinea pigs.
@Nell foran: it seems to be rare enough, I was reading about it earlier, as if people haven’t enough to worry about, the one and only good thing about all of this was children didn’t seem to be too badly affected, this is putting a different spin on things, hopefully it remains rare…
@Nell foran: And what about the teachers- of all ages and with their own health issues and at risk family members? In a classroom all day with 30 + primary children who don’t do hygiene all that well? Or in secondary schools with 9 groups of 30 students every day? Are teachers just to be guinea pigs so that schools can be opened?
@Ger McDonnell: a time of national crisis when everyone has to deal with the challenges – and all you can do is moan about being guinea pigs – ‘having to be in a classroom all day with children ‘ – eh that’s the job – how about trying to solve the challenge instead of moaning and whinging – thats like nurses saying ‘ we have to be in hospital all day with patients. Seriously maybe get out and take another 2km walk and get off social media for a while if all you can do is moan and whinge about the challenges of the job – would you be a teacher by any chance ?
@Ger McDonnell: I think you are getting teachers mixed up with health care and the other front line workers in essential retail. Your pre-emptive on that ger
@Dave Hammond: any practical suggestions!!
@Dave Hammond: Would it hurt to be civil or is being nasty a given in your comments?
I was simply pointing out the impossibility of social distancing in most schools, where classrooms, stairs, corridors and cloakrooms are too small for the numbers involved. Add in the instinctive behaviours of children – and teenagers- and it’s a recipe for covid to spread. As for it being “the job”, is that comment applicable to every sector,, or is the nastiness reserved just for teachers? Are you telling the whole country to just get back to work without preventative measures in place, because it’s ^ the job” or is that ridiculous comment aimed just at teachers?
@Ger McDonnell: And no, I’m retired actually!
@Dave Hammond: The irony of you telling others to quit whinging and moaning on social media is astounding. That’s exactly what your doing.
To answer your question, Nurses signed up to work in dangerous potentially infectious environments & their work is essential in a time of crisis like the present.
Teachers did not sign up to work in infectious environments & their work is not essential in a time of crisis like the present. And having them & their students gathering together daily is likely to worsen the crisis
Each person will have to spend at least 90 seconds in a walk-in 800W microwave before being allowed back to work. Please remember to empty your pockets of keys and any metal items before being cooked. It’s optional that you bring a pre-packed microwaveable lunch.
We’ll also need to microwave the air on public transport and in the workplace for any potentially infected airborne droplets that may be hanging about. Microwave any surface that workers may come in contact with. Really not looking forward to the electricity bill, but at least mortgages have been put on “freeze”. We’ll need a microwave to defrost those also and pay the extra interest.
@Sean O’ Donovan: you’ll also need to have microwave on the brain syndrome.
@Micheal S. O’ Ceilleachair: relax, you can get a lead lined helmet for that.
It’ll be another box ticking exercise for employers. Like ours, who refuse to provide face masks or hand sanitiser for us. Social distancing is impossible in our place.
@John Jones: Name and shame. If you’re afraid of losing your job. Use a different profile to do it.
Public transport will be an problem with the current seating restrictions, overcrowding was an issue before the virus, now capacity will be a fraction of what it was
Also. Do wash your groceries in the bath after your weekly shop and quarenteen the unwashables for 3 days. Its BS that the packaging is safe.
@Imagine !: I think you’re a bit nuts….
@cybersecsteve: that’s how the virus spreads though… people wearing masks are wasting their time.
I’m back to work just over a week. We put social distancing in place for staff. It’s almost impossible to implement. It’s totally impractical. People started off wearing masks, that’s had to police too: they get very uncomfortable and people are constantly taking them off and putting them on, which sort of defeats to purpose. One guy came to work despite the fact their partner was waiting the result of a test, she tested positive. You cant legislate for stupidity like that, andcthose arextge reasons we will almost certainly have a second wave sooner rather than later.
@Connoroconner: testing is just a moment in time. You could be tested today and come out negative. You could repeat the test in two days time and come out positive. All we can do is follow guidelines to the best of our ability and hope the outcome will favour us. It is what it is.
@Micheal S. O’ Ceilleachair: the guys wife is a nurse, she had symptoms, she had actually been tested and was waiting on results when he came to work. That’s inexcusable.
@Micheal S. O’ Ceilleachair: The guidelines you mentioned explicitly state that if you or someone in your household are waiting for a test result your entire household has to isolate at home until the results are out.
Deep sea diving gear, without the flippers?
The eyes are very receptive to the virus so unless everyone else around you is wearing a mask (this is not the case here in Ireland) you need to wear goggles to be protected.
@Imagine !: or wraparound sunglasses would also do the trick. Anything that acts as a barrier against droplets. Glasses can easily be sanitized. I have seen ultra violet sanitizers on sale long before the coronavirus came on the scene.
@Imagine !: A mask is sufficient to prevent a person from spreading the virus into another persons eye.
So masks being mandatory should be enforced until a vaccine is available.
If everyone wears a mask as instructed then there should be no need for goggles..
Personal PPE = A mask + A quality pair of swimming goggles. Wash the goggles after use and dispose of the mask.
@Imagine !: if you wear the mask and also wear the see through visor then that would hopefully protect the mask from being infected. The visor could be sanitized multiple times.
@Imagine !: what about people who wear glasses? Any hay fever suffers?
Can’t at all imagine how they’ll do it on a factory floor but in shops its easy enough to restrict the number of people going in. Dunnes is doing it already
@Shelley Byrne: the company I Donegal that repurposed itself to produce inexpensive visors might help with protection.
Back in work 3 weeks. First week with a full shift in. No PPE, no social distancing, no one wants to be an enforcer. Genuine question, who do I report my employer to as it’s dangerous to work here right now. I can avoid people here but most can’t
In any business…
It will be maily down to management of individual places and unfortunately some managers do not have the competency or interest of staff or customers at the core of the business, only targets and profits.
Going it work with a cough or a cold is now a no-no!!!! Jesus nobody will be in so!! That’s absenteeism on the rise!
@Lochlainn Marcus: very good point, I have never taken a day off work over a cold or sniffle, had to come to work with diarrhoea and vomiting bug once because nobody was available to cover for me.
@Porter Mechanic: so you are the type of person that spreads illness regularly to people you work with. Here you are praising yourself. Work with people who are equally lacking common sense or manners
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