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Dublin: 6 °C Friday 24 May, 2013

Column: Homophobic bullying is taking young lives, yet it’s treated as harmless

Most adults in Ireland can now be openly gay, writes Michael Barron – but the reality for young people is very different.

Michael Barron

WE HAVE HAD a monumental end to the year in our long battle to combat homophobic and transphobic bullying of young people.

It’s been so important and encouraging to see Ireland at the centre of what has become a global movement to protect our young people from this harm. On the international stage, a dizzying sequence of events occurred over the first few weeks of December.

From December 6-9 UNESCO held its first global consultation on homophobic bullying. While this consultation was underway in Brazil, US Secretary of State Hilary Clinton addressed the UN in Geneva, declaring “gay rights are human rights and human rights are gay rights’.

Two days later the UN released a statement from Secretary General Ban Ki-moon calling homophobic bullying “a moral outrage, a grave violation of human rights and a public health crisis”. He went on to say. “It is also a loss for the entire human family when promising lives are cut short” and called on governments throughout the world to act to protect LGBT young people.

Then on December 14, the UN Office of the High Commissioner for Human Rights (OHCHR) released a groundbreaking report on the human rights of LGBT people, again drawing attention to homophobic bullying and the mistreatment of LGBT young people around the world.

For too long homophobic bullying has been seen as a mild, near-harmless part of growing up. Having the issue taken seriously and reframing this daily and devastating harassment of our young people as an international human rights abuse is timely, honest and helpful.

Why is ending homophobic bullying so urgent?

Homophobic bullying needs to be eliminated urgently because it is costing young people their lives. In 2009 the HSE’s National Office for Suicide Prevention supported a national study (carried out by the Children’s Research Centre in Trinity College) which found shockingly high levels of suicidal behaviours amongst LGBT young people in Ireland – and that this was clearly linked to experiences of homophobic bullying.

The study found that 50 per cent of LGBT young people under 25 had seriously thought about ending their own lives, while 20 per cent had attempted suicide. The majority of LGBT young people experienced homophobic bullying in school and one third had heard homophobic comments from teachers.

LGBT young people who experienced homophobic bullying were more likely to self harm and attempt suicide, (the only other correlation found was between family rejection and attempted suicide).

And other damaging effects of homophobic bullying on our young people include early school leaving, poor body image and elevated levels of drug use. All of this amounts to the “grave violation of human rights” and “public health crisis” that Ban Ki-moon speaks of.

So how are we doing?

Recent international events would suggest that we are doing comparatively well in tackling this issue in Ireland. BeLonG To’s work was highlighted as good practice at the UNESCO global consultation mentioned above, and was included as a positive response to homophobia in the Office of the High Commssioner for Human Rights report on LGBT Human Rights.

Earlier in the year, the European Council’s Commissioner on Human Rights Thomas Hammarberg singled out BeLonG To’s Stand Up! Campaign (the only work of an NGO to be mentioned in his ‘viewpoint’ on the issue), calling it “indispensable” as a way to tackle homophobic bullying.

Over the past decade with partner organisations we have run information and awareness campaigns. Teachers are being trained throughout the country, guidelines have been produced for teachers and youth workers and a major new curriculum is being piloted.

This year the government committed (in the Programme for Government) to combating homophobic bullying in schools, and the Minister for Education and Skills, Ruairi Quinn has spoken of the need to ‘eliminate’ it from our schools.

So going into 2012 we are well-placed to make real inroads into ending homophobic bullying. In fact, we could become world leaders in this area – the only area of LGBT Rights where Ireland could make such a claim.

But this is no time to be complacent. I fear the government could take its foot off the pedal in this area, and after the high of international acknowledgement we could start sliding backwards again. We are experiencing substantial funding cuts to the relatively meagre resources put into working with LGBT young people – and almost a year later, there has been very little action on the programme for government commitment to combating homophobic bullying in schools.

‘For most adults it is possible to be gay – for young people it is not’

It is important that we don’t forget that under both national and international law our government has committed to and is obliged to take measures to protect all people (including LGBT young people) from violence and discrimination. So we are working together to fulfil these basic obligations rather than providing extraordinary supports to our young people.

And it is not all about school. Young people live most of their lives outside of school – in communities, online and of course in families. While we work towards the large structural changes in our education system, lets not forget the ‘small places near home’ that Eleanor Roosevelt spoke of (and Hilary Clinton recently cited) where LGBT young people can still experience the worst kind of homophobia and rejection and which also puts them at great risk. To truly combat homophobia towards young people we need to work with families and communities providing education and standing up to often invisible violence against them.

Last year following the airing on RTÉ of the Crossing the Line documentary series Growing Up Gay we advertised BeLonG To’s phone number for people to call if they were affected by the programme. Mostly we got calls from young people coming out, but I was fortunate enough to receive a call from a middle aged man living in London. He said that he left Ireland in the 1980s because it was ‘impossible to be gay’ here then. Having seen the documentary series he felt for the first time that it might be possible to move home.

For most adults it is possible to be gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgender in Ireland today, but for many young people daily homophobic bullying means that it still is not. We cannot let another generation of young people grow up feeling uncared for and rejected.

In light of this month’s international events to combat homophobic bullying, and Ireland’s role in them, I urge the government to reprioritise action to support LGBT young people. Let’s be true world leaders and ensure that in our own country no young person should have their human rights and safety violated because of who they are.

Michael Barron is the co-founder and Chief Executive of BeLonG To Youth Services – Ireland’s national support service for Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender young people. You can watch their Stand Up! ad against homophobic bullying here.

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Comments (40 Comments)

  • It’s very hurtful and a big dent in your self esteem if your bullied, regardless of the reason (speaking from experience). There are countless so called ‘reasons’ people get bullied, being gay is only one of them, and none of them are valid!

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  • Kids are so consumed with wanting to fit in they have to wear the same clothes, have the same haircut and like the same music as their friends. Being gay or lesbian, or feeling they’ve been born the wrong sex would make them stand out from the crowd. TV has a big part to play in this. Look at any teen programs and you’ll see kids being sneered at and openly mocked for being individuals. They learn from programs like this how to be part of the herd and not dare step outside it. It’s up to parents to counter this negative programming (pun intended) of their children.

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  • A person shouldn’t have to change who they are to placate anyone anyway Leo. The point here Eamonn is that homophobic bullying is treated with less seriousness than other forms of bullying….as you have just proven with your idiotic comment.

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  • For me one of the measures of how far we have come in our acceptance of each other is whether people bully each other by calling them gay, irrespective of their sexuality. it happened in my school days as the ultimate put-down and means of excluding people and I’m certain it still happens now. When it’s no longer a term of abuse, we will have grown up a good deal.

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  • Daire 28/12/11 #

    I’m unfortunately having to live through being gay in a secondary school today. I think some of the comments on this article are despicable, that people who are different get bullied etc. Why don’t you try putting yourself in my shoes:

    1) I’m intelligent – = no friends. Other ‘smart ‘ people wouldn’t even hang round me for fear of also being branded a nerd etc.

    2) hearing constant gay slagging does not help me when I’m a lad who has the fúcking shit scared into him about being gay. There was one openly gay person in our school – well guess what people who say calling someone/thing gay is not really homophobic and that you’d never call a person who is actually gay it – HE got called gay EVEN MORE. There’s an effing reason I’m not using my real twitter account for this, and a fake name – people like you. I would frigging love to be straight, to be classed even as normal. I know some people will have guessed that I am gay, and so, because of stupid bigots and their parents, I self destruct inwardly, through isolation and frustration. I hate to say it, but girls can be the absolute worst, they sneakily try to provoke you by acting slutty and generally making me look like an idiot/asshole. Teachers also make sly remarks, even in F-ING SPHE when we’re bloody talking about bullying and depression. I can’t go to any teachers or anything, because its become a part of Irish society. I can’t change how I am.

    I wouldn’t mind, but homophobic bullying can be done without any evidence or case whatsoever. Like mock raping in the changing room, jocking, or pretending to be gay themselves (‘oh, I’d say your enjoying me undressing, aren’t ye?’) And what am I going to say to a teacher? If I reported somebody for pulling a pair of old underwear over my head, after which I punched the person in question in the head, who do you you think would win? Someone was slagging me, calling me a gay fag etc, and I stabbed him unfortunately in the hand with my unfortunately depressed pen. I was held back after the class by the teacher and reprimanded. What do you say? This person has made my life a living misery, now you scold me? That’s what’s wrong with our system. It favors the majority, who, in my age group, are mostly bigots.

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    • That’s terrible Daire. You should contact the author of this piece and see if there’s any support groups you could find. If you can’t travel maybe you could access some online. Speak to them. What you’re going through is not fair.

      A boy in my son’s crowd came out a few months ago and I was interested in the reaction he received. My son told me they told him it was fine. My son told me he had guessed already but it had no effect on how he felt about his friend. I was delighted and naively thought that those kind of prejudices were fading away.

      I’m very sorry for what you’ve experienced Daire and I think this is not a problem you should have to face alone. If your family can’t help, be sure to find help elsewhere, try the author of this article. You are normal. Just different. We’re all different. Don’t mind those that think they can judge you. They have no right.

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    • +1 on contacting BelongTo Daire – from what I understand of their work, they can help you get through it. The way you’re being treated is exactly the reason, and the only reason, I would be concerned about one of my kids being gay – how other people would treat them. it’s of no help to you whatsoever but many of the situations you describe are similar to those I experienced in school myself, the only difference being that I’m not gay. It was used as a reason to isolate me and I wasn’t equipped to deal with it. I had naively hoped that 20 years would have seen us progress a little, but evidently not.

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    • Hi Daire, I am so sorry to hear that you are going through all of this. As other people here have suggested – please contact us at BeLonG To – we want to do whatever we can do to help you. We support LGBT youth groups in different parts of the country which are open to you. One of our youth workers can talk to you by phone too and see what support you would like. Our ph no is 01-6706223, email is info@belongto.org and web is http://www.belongto.org. We open again (after xmas) on Jan 3rd. If you need to talk to someone before that the Samaritans are great (we work with them) – 1850 609090. You are not alone in this Daire – there are people here to help you.
      Michael, BeLonG To.

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  • Some of the comments here are disturbing..to actually compare a young person growing up and being bullied about their sexual orientation to some one being slagged for wearing glasses?? Get a grip!

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  • Bullying is wrong no matter where it comes from and no matter what it’s about. We need as a society to stamp it out in all it’s forms. Being gay /lesbian /transgender is hard enough to deal with alone without the added burden of going to school every day and facing the taunts and pressures. Treating our fellow human beings as equal without bias or discrimination should be the over riding priority of any society and every government. When we are an inclusive society we will all do better financially as has been proved by large corporations and a small number of countries. Well done Michael. Keep up the pressure for change.

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  • I think the shame and isolation and secrecy can be as damaging as the outright abuse – in fact I don’t think that, I know that. I was one of those gay teens who struggled with my identity and kept it a secret from adults who may have been able to help or affirm me in some way. Any problems or issues I experienced from my peers I wasn’t able to talk to the teachers at my school – I vividly remember having nightmares about being kicked out of school. The stress and depression of my situation made me sick and forced me to eventually drop out of school then return a year later to do the leaving and continue on in my studies – many young people don’t return.

    The silence and the suppression of identity is what differentiates homophobic bullying from other forms – the young person themselves may be convinced that the slurs their classmates throw at them are true, and they may be receiving very little messaging to the contrary.

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  • But the catholic church told us that gay acts are immoral and gay people won’t be going to heaven. Surely then bullies are doing gods work? I would argue the church can be credited with stimulating much of the playground bullying evident across Ireland today by using their moral ground to explain to parents the difference between right and wrong. Thank you catholicism for your wise insights into societal development and not being hypocritical at all!

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    • When I was growing up in a catholic environment no priest ever said it was “immoral to be gay” and unless you read Leviticus which is beyond what most children will read you probably wouldn’t know that was the churches standpoint. Children are bullies because of closed minded attitudes imposed by parents and other real influences on their lives. This is what needs to change.

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    • To reiterate Killians point, the Catholic church never says gay people will not go to heaven.

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    • Unfortunately I too wasted some time in school ‘learning’ about catholic nonsense. I haven’t read the bible or whatever chapter you’re referring to and I don’t doubt that many people have, but when I spoke of the gay culture the church demotes I didn’t mean to suggest they were training bullies in the playground. I believe much of the inherent anti gay culture evident in every school in Ireland can be somewhat credited to the churches long lasting reign and influence of generations of parents. It certainly is not as evident for this day and age, but if you can ask people of an older generation what kind of influence the church had in shaping peoples opinion of right and wrong and how they fostered an anti gay culture for years. This has had very serious ramifications for todays society which I hope you can appreciate as it is this reflection that the church speaks of yet so very rarely practices.

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  • Paul 27/12/11 #

    Being bullied for being fat or having red hair or glasses allows the victim the opportunity to get support and to tell someone. Racial and ethnic minorities come from families which can support the victim of this kind of bullying as they’ve probably al been through it and there’s less secrecy and shame on the part of the victim. It’s not so easy to find support if you’re only discovering your sexuality and are already quite fearful of what you’re discovering about yourself. Other minorities have in-built support networks, LGBT kids are more likely to suffer in secrecy, shame and self-loathing.

    Is it really no worse than any other form of bullying?

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  • if only that were true… never heard anyone committing suicide because of being bullied for wearing glasses. And sadly the bullying continues long after school is behind us. As can be seen by this thoughtless comment. A bridge needs to be built indeed but from both ‘sides’.

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  • Yes people are bullied for all those reasons but gay people can not change who they are, a person wearing glasses can get contacts a person who’s overweight can go on a diet and potentially loose weight .. A gay youth can not change who they are and considering the large number of teens who have killed themselves over being gay, I think ‘build a bridge’ comment is just plain ignorant.

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  • Just saw the new Bord na Mona ad on telly. It’s a new one with the Dad throwing a briquette on the fire and offering to make a room up for his son’s friend. The mam looks at her son, and the son says to the dad, “Something I have to tell you Dad…”

    Excellent!!! Love it!!! Made me clap my hands!!! First gay ad I’ve ever seen and it came from the bogs of Ireland.

    [Claps hands again.]

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    • thought that ad was a bit cliched to be honest but there you go – I guess it’s no harm that people see it and talk or think about it.

      Isn’t it a pity though that the ad didn’t finish with the Dad saying something like “ah great, I always wanted a second son”, rather than “it’s going to be a long night” – bit of a missed opportunity there.

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    • I know Conor. But it’s a start at least. Gets people talking. Btw I got what you were saying earlier even tho your replier didn’t. I think fair play to Bord na Mona for putting it out there. If it was his daughter and her boyfriend he’d probably have said the same thing! What do you think?

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  • Spoken like someone who does not know the hell of bullying.

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  • I hope none of the homophobs on here have gay children. If you do you will destroy their lives & yours. The gay community is a very important part of our society now & their contribution is vast & mostly unknown.

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  • if we are so enlightened why do so many movies, tv shows and commercials use homosexuality as a cheap way of generating laughs? most famous gays are little more than modern day court jesters eg graham norton, alan carr, its 2011 ffs!

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    • Waffler, you refer specifically to two comedians who naturally would be court jesters! Most gay men in the public eye whether they be politician, actor, footballer, scientist, journalist etc do not glamorise being gay, its just who they are and not the way they want the world to view them. I am a scientist, a lecturer, a brother and an uncle, i just happen to be gay. It doesnt define me!

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    • Perhaps you just didn’t notice Waffler..

      Never watch QI no? That Stephen Fry chaps terribly camp isn’t he?
      It’s not all about laughs, what about Ian McKellan, Derren Brown etc?

      There may be camp homosexual men, but there are plenty of gay men who are not camp.. And by the same token, there is such a thing as a camp straight man too..

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  • they should remove the ‘bullying’ gene.

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  • Well said, Michael Barron. Thanks for highlighting this issue. Those statistics are frightening.

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  • Gay people are different and different people will always be bullied. That’s just the way it is.

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    • If this were an article on racism would you have posted that? Or even on sexist bullying in the work place? Maybe ignorant people are “different”, then you get to be different too!

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    • Kelly, imagine how different the world would be if Martin Luther King or Rosa Parks had said to themselves, ‘ah sure, we’re different, it’ll always be like that, no point in trying to change things’…. to suggest that minorities should just lie down and accept minority is ridiculous

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    • Alan, in a democracy, the majority does rule. What a world we would live in if the minority ruled. Unfortunetly in the case of wealth, the minority rules, and look where that got us. things generally work out for people who play the system not fight it. i would imagine there are people who strongly disagree with the way things are run in the country but if those people were in a room, would they have the same idea of the way forward. I doubt it. As the journal would put it, in every question in life there are three answers. Yes No or lets just all get along. i think youll find the people who just get along are the happiest.

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    • Rossa, we have something called a constitution, and something called human rights. We don’t live in a democracy, we utilise a level of democratic decision-making, but the people do not have a complete say. If the majority want every single black person to be killed, that cannot happen (by state hands), as it is not constitutional.

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  • Saddened to hear of this young man going through this hell. Please get in touch with belongto they sound amazing, and just what you need.

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  • Is gayness still illegal??

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