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Not the NewsIS THE NEWS getting you down? Current affairs causing a frown? Satirical site The Mire has an alternative angle on the week’s hot topics…
RTÉ reopens London office for royal baby birth
Monday, 22 July
RTÉ reopened its London office this morning in anticipation of the birth of the royal baby after the Duchess of Cambridge was admitted to hospital. The office will be staffed by all the RTÉ journalists who went to Rome to see the Pope for the papal conclave.
The journalists have received intensive training from the Communications Clinic to help them differentiate between a pope and a baby.
“Closing the London office was always a decision that we were willing to revisit if something momentous happened,” an RTE spokesman said.
Diplomatic incident as royal baby offered place in Irish creche
Tuesday, 23 July
A major diplomatic incident has developed between Ireland and the UK after the royal baby was offered a place in an Irish creche.
Taoiseach Enda Kenny was quick to apologise for the affront and called on Children’s Minister Frances Fitzgerald to hold an immediate investigation. It is understood that the offer of a creche place was a misguided gift.
The Government immediately withdrew the offer and promised only to place Irish children in Irish creches in future.
A spokesman for UNICEF sighed.
Public clamour for Seanad to discuss pornography
Wedneday, 24 July
In a sign that the Irish people might want to retain the Seanad there has been a call for it to debate curbing online pornography.
Communications Minister Pat Rabbitte said he is willing to consider restricting access to internet porn after British prime minister David Cameron announced plans to do so in the UK.
The Mire was immediately inundated with calls from members of the public insisting the Seanad should investigate the issue.
“This is too good an opportunity to miss,” a man from Kinnegad said. “Watching and shouting about porn is perfect for the Seanad.”
HSE says lighten up and have a laugh
Thursday, 25 July
A spokesman for the HSE has said they can’t understand why people don’t laugh at the disastrous mistakes in Crumlin Hospital.
The hospital admitted mistakenly telling 18 families that their children may have been contaminated by a bug found on hospital equipment.
It has now said that seven other children have been told that they may have been infected by bacteria on the contaminated scope.
Taoiseach could offer John Perry a seat in the Seanad
Friday, 26 July
Fine Gael is deeply divided over what to do with debt-riddled Junior Minister John Perry.
Taoiseach Enda Kenny is believed to favour throwing Mr Perry a lifeline by offering him a seat in the Seanad.
However, senior figures in the party believe Mr Perry could be a talisman for the party and austerity Ireland.
“Who better to represent our small businesses than a man who can’t pay his way?” a party source said.
“He has the Debt Factor just like James Reilly. They can do no wrong.”
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He was cought with a hooker 21 years ago. You d swear it as murder
Eddie Murphy had a worse scandal…
Divine Brown also shook it off and took it on the chin.
On the chin???
Yes, we need the Communications experts to teach us how to fake contrition.
Very few politicians or powerful peole ever admit error or mistakes.
sometimes you just need to come out and say “yes, we were wrong and it was wrong to bully people”. we are still waiting, communications clinic, but in the meanwhile, let’s brush it under the carpet and get all this work with thejournal and today fm. remember, eoghan – don’t be the story, and don’t be blatantly hypocritical.
Didn’t do Liz Hurleys ‘career’ any harm either….
Let me guess he’s playing a socially awkward love struck loner in the new film…as usual
Or just don’t get a @@@@@@b in a public car park if you’re a major star, thereby avoiding the need to apologise
Quite right. Or drive a car with blacked-out windows. There’s nothing wrong with a fella getting a bj, but he broke the Eleventh Commandment: Don’t get caught!
He got caught because he was putting his feet on the brakes and a copper walked past and saw the brake lights
WTF is the point of this article?
Jaysus.
I kind of get it but maybe it should be in the business section. What had me confused was bringing up Hugh Grant, there must be more current celebrities stories to pull from than that. I thought Hugh Grant did something today because of the head line. Also I really think if that happened today there wouldn’t be a huge demand for n apology. I don’t see why getting a hooker is such a huge deal that you have to apologise to strangers for it. Sure he broke the law but that’s his private life. So yea, even a better analogy than the Hugh Grant story would have been more relevant to the message.
I made a mistake once……..’86 I think it was….
No it was ’87
Some companies have a No mistake culture. I own up to my mistakes pretty much the way outlined in the article and it has worked well for me. However I know of one high pressure environments in a certain workplace where the first person on the team to admit the mistake to the boss and that things weren’t going well was subsequently let go. Nobody backs down in there anymore over the most blatant and obvious small mistakes.
Productivity is zero.
How does an employee cope with such obviously poor management?
This article is improved tenfold if you read it as Alan Partridge
Its strange the way laws differ around the world if he had sex with a Prostitute in Holland or Australia were its legal would it still of been such a big story or full stop a famous person using Prostitutes is a big story.
the issue was getting arrested for kerb crawling, not using prostitutes. it was the seedy and unnecessary element of it that publicity worthy. to this day, it could still be a staged publicity event.
Didn’t he famously say “to err is human…” and had to stop himself mid sentence?
Fr. Jack had a famous “sorry” as well lol.
Take drumm and some of our equally irresponsible politicians. Drumm single handedly didn’t cause the financial crisis. Some politicians were equally negligent. They should be prosecuted too, some of these guys are getting away with murder and the culture in irish politics is not to take responsibility for anything, which is disgraceful behavior.
Show this to the bankers.
” If you do make a COCK up, the first thing to do is try to get out aHEAD of it” Awh come on journel it was 21 years ago. No need for the little reminders between the lines
Cockups !!very appropriate word considering the piece is about Hugh Grant but hey its 21yrs ago and makes no since in that article.
You didn’t get the AHEAD ref donna
The only time I say sorry as it seems is trying to pass those who always have their shopping trollies in the way like blind and deaf eejits in the shopping aisles, they do be in another world. Then they don’t answer you, the only one who does is a shelf stacker with his big ladder in the way as well and between the both of them they have the aisle blocked… Feels like Robot Wars when shopping sometimes…
Kate Fitzgerald.
But what happens if your blamed for something that was not your fault. As some people rather blame a stranger than their friends, passing the buck is great with some people as when they do wrong they try to pass it onto something or somebody else.
The reason something starts is never the excuse that is used, people will find any excuse to pass the buck or to keep it going because they need to or because they get something from it?
Look at the Birmingham Six and then read that, plenty of stories like that… Even to workplace bullies.
So David Drumm should just say sorry and thats okay!!!
The others got off and so will he…
He got his bag of coal. He should have been hanged drawn and quartered
Yeah That’s true.
http://www.techangaza.com
Alternatively…if you’re absolutely certain you can cover your ass and get away with it then do it……….
what people don’t know won’t hurt them.
have your say