SOME 70% OF people bereaved during the Covid pandemic have said their loved one was prevented from having the death they would have wished for.
Close to half (45.5%) said their loved one died in a place they wouldn’t have liked, and 30% reported that their loved one was not surrounded by the people they would have liked to have around them at the time.
That’s according to the Irish Hospice Foundation’s ‘Time to Reflect’ Survey on the pandemic’s impact on people’s experience of death, dying and grieving.
The survey was completed by over 2,200 people across all demographics between November 2021 and February 2022.
Just over half (54%) of those surveyed had experienced the death of someone close to them, and 64% of those bereaved said their ability to grieve was negatively affected.
Of the bereaved participants in the survey, only 20% were able to spend time with their loved one before they died and close to two-thirds (64%) were not present when their loved one died.
Elsewhere, 70% reported that family and friends were excluded from funerals because of public health measures, and more than half (54%) said the community had to find another way to honour the person who had died, in the absence of the traditional ones.
Meanwhile, 40% said they did not receive the support they needed following the death of a loved one.
The research also found that two-thirds of people (67%) now feel they have a greater awareness of grief since the pandemic, and close to half (47%) have given more thought to their own end-of-life wishes.
One participant told the survey that choosing who could attend a funeral was like a “lottery”.
“Only a very limited family were able to come and say goodbye,” they said. “I found this very difficult as it is certainly not the type of funeral we would have intended.”
Another said they experienced loneliness following the burial of a loved one.
“We walked to the church; kind neighbours lined the route but only the immediate family were allowed into the graveyard.
“The gate was closed. We were not permitted to carry the coffin. The priest quickly said a few prayers. It was over in a matter of minutes. Almost no one spoke to us as we walked home in shock.”
Another recalled not being unable to hold his wife’s hand while she was at her grandmother’s funeral, because attendance was capped at 10 and he had to watch via live-stream.
A healthcare worker also recalled watching her 86-year-old aunt “sob silently and without being able to physically comfort her for fear I’d place her at risk as I’m a nurse working in a hospital with Covid patients”.
Another healthcare worker said it was “heartbreaking” to see “family members outside in the rain looking in as their loved one dies inside with one member of the family only present”.
The Irish Hospice Foundation has called for investment to raise awareness and promote the importance of people planning ahead for their wishes at the end of life.
It added that all healthcare staff should receive continuous training to equip them to deliver quality end-of-life and bereavement care.
The Irish Hospice Foundation also recommended great resourcing and investment into the expansion of bereavement support services, including for healthcare workers impacted by grief.
It also said a high importance should be placed on “person-centred compassionate end-of-life care”, with family involvement in the event of future public health crises or emergencies.
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