Will you ruffle my hair like sarkozy used to? Pleeeeeeeeeeeeeease!

No I swear a Taoiseach is just as important as a prime minister, look we’ve even got the same tie

“Have you a lend of a tenner, I left my wallet in the Merc?”

David, I have no willy.

“Look David i just dont have the balls. Can you talk to Angela for me please”

I’ll explain it one more time David.
It’s called the Punt, because it rhymes with Bank Manager.

Interesting body language there, David looks quite defensive, is Enda actually touching him? I reckon Enda said, ” if you knock that auld transaction tax on the head I’ll get you a few tickets for Mayo in the All Ireland”

No, it’s Enda, Enda Kenny, I’m the Taois… Oh forget it, yes I’ll carry your books!

No I said try-a-tee not try your tie.

“Sure, so, we can have your driveway done next torrsday, I’ll send de boys round wit a quote.”

‘I don’t know what i’m doing’

Kenny to Cameron “you know I don’t really have a clue about this upcoming treaty, should I vote yes or no?”

And then she said “after Ich fu€k Sie den Ich fu€k Ihm!”.

Your a traitor supporting Chelsea, I was Bayern Munich all the way, cos my mate Angela told me so

It’s ok for me David, bit how can you afford that suit on your salary?

“That Clegg never had a clue about being in a coalition. You know, I’m brilliant at them. And to be fair, I’m feckin’ off out of Ireland, so if you’re interested in a better deputy Prime Minister…”

Caption ” I really miss my ear being tickled by Nicholas, would you mind obliging David!” :)

In your best Enda accent. ” come here till I tell ya something. There is a horse running in the 3:15 in tramore. I’m telling ya DON’T TELL ANYONE it’s a sure thing.”

“Less of your ‘jolly good’ shtuff now, Davie boi…we’re kinda screwed here!”

“david repeat after me, whos yer sexy daddy”

No still dont get it, can you show me again how to do up my tie?

Kenny “we’re sorry old chap, any chance you’d take us back? It’d make a nice jubilee present for Her Majesty”

Poor David looks like he wishes his tie was a ripcord for an ejection mechanism out of that conversation.

(Nice phone Enda … I remember when they were all the rage … ten years ago).

No really I still don’t know what a tracker mortgage is!

If I was a dog would you let me into the pound…

And I said to Angela, I can call her Angela, do you know? I said to Angela “Jawohl, Frau
Merkel, immer jawohl.”

I use ronseal myself-does exactly as it says on the tin!

Kenny to Cameron “You know I don’t really have a clue about this treaty, should I vote Yes or No?”

David you should try earning what I get. Imagine a country with a population of 4 million, the same as manchester. I get more than you and Barack!

David, Can I borrow your spin doctor? Mine is useless and Vinny Brown wants to grill me on LIVE TV… The cheek of him..

Cameron – “I was in Eton”

Kenny – “I was in Heatons meself, great value on them blue ties lad”

David, “so what you spend you day doing enda?” being the leader in Ireland and all”,
“well David” ” I spend most my day drinking tea with biddies, going to schools telling the kids to emigrate, and trying bring Ireland to its knees,” “David”! “Can you please tell Angela merkel to stop bullying me, she have me a swirly the other day because we only got some of the household charge money” pleeeeeese David”

Bacon & cabbage, you don’t know what you’re missing

You think your out of your depth? Amackeen we are drowning and people easily forget I’m simply a teacher from the wilds of Co Mayo…..no its a county not a condiment amadan.

“Pull my finger…”

I could have taught at Eton you know Dave.

Whatever you do, DON’T vote for Jedward!!

C’mere, you think you got problems with YOUR Labour Party ?

Say like David, if we brought back in the oul Punt, u know, we could peg it to Sterling, or even better, sure why don’t ye jump over to the Punt for a change?

Gist an oul pat on the head Davey baby.

“Are struggling to pay for your kids education or your household bills” no “neither am I”. Who the hell are those citizens telling us what to do.”Let’s get in to this meeting and see how we can screw them even more”

“And when Angela walks in, you must stand up too”.

ill tie that David us fine gael are very good at putting choke knots around peoples necks

“Here David ya can have Mayo Sligo and Kerry if ya lend us a few bob”

Do you know how to play the yes/no game?

Enda: Is that a double Windsor? I’ve never been able to get the hang of that myself.

Cameron: What a surprise…

Mayo for the All Ireland… I’m telling you…

tie needs a bit further to the right, yeah, that’s it!

you can have it back, we messed up; but ‘hey’ no hard feelings!

“Let me at least look as if I’m yanking your chain”.

‘Now listen here David, I only loaned you that tie. I want it back when you leave.’

Kenny: “Let me be clear on this, Ireland is open for business and facing the right direction. Sure, we’re not going to kick the future in the face. The train is leaving the station next year and when it does, Paddy wants to be at the heart of Europe. Because let me clear…”

Cameron: Yes well, eh…Brian, isn’t it?

sure u know i have the feeling there horse that theres a noose waiting for me in Dublin with my name on it if this treaty is passed. …any chance i can crash on your sofa there for a few days bud

What were you’s thinking not joining the single currency

When I am feeling this way David, I always turn to Lockets, their dual action first unblocks stuffy noses while their liquid honey centre softens up that throat.

‘The trick you see Davy, do you mind if I call you Davy?, The trick you see is to catch the egg and then feck it back at them.’

Will you hold my hand before we walk in?

Pleeeease?

David, how would you hide a story like this?
http://m.guardian.co.uk/uk/2002/sep/15/world.race?cat=uk&type=article

“How in earth does this guy earn more than me?”

Kenny – “You know that thing you do when you meet royalty….curtsy?…genuflect?

Cameron – “it’s curtsy, genuflect is more of a religious thing but only women curtsy…men bow.”

Kenny – “Damn it….no wonder Angela doesn’t take me serious, i’ve been curtsying her for years….then again, I have also been bowing to get my hair ruffled too……all bases covered.”

Cameron – “LOL what?

Remember Dave, Chelsea won the Champions League not England. Angela is right, the tie is rubbing it in!

I will tell you like it is ,but you must not answer me as I do not like debate, discussionor conversation with anyone taller than me . I must have the last word !

I’ll tell ya David, if ya ever think of coming to Ireland leave the tie at home cause I’m thinking of bringing in a tie tax. Make a few extra quid to help the banks ya know.

Ive got a brand new combine harvester

Sorry David do you know who I speak too about having a shower cap and maybe a hot water bottle in my room ?

Oh shut- uuuup you Tart !

“And then he said goonie googoo and had a GI Joe up his ass” !

” yea that’s real funny kenny !

‘you look like you could use a days work’

Of course not, defer to superiors and make dirt of inferiors.

So its,’ Is there anything you would like me to do David’

Look you can have it for 160 billion, and that’s my last offer!

If I slap your Balls, will you choke my Rabitte?

Enda: ………that’s what she said

ENDA-T: Yes, David, I hear you. I hear you. But just hold-on there a second. You don’t mean Leo-V’s mini-Schengen proposal….? …We’d have to let those Dutch f__ers over-the-border too? [Like ye do, David.]
http://mcula.files.wordpress.com/2010/05/10-4-2010-15-03-03-four-years-on-and-the-british-cease-to-hate-me-finally1.png
DAVID-C: Yea Edna, y’know: London 2012 and all that? There are a lot of them in the 26 schengen states, us in the UK included where that’s concerned. But, you’re not Edna. Why-is-that? It’s ten years now mate, get-a-move-on.
ENDA-T: Yes David, I didn’t know that David. But you know….; David…..; we’ve known one another a-long-time now. You and me: New Eire. Like….; the Common Travel Area… CTA…; ‘our’ Common-Travel-Area: y’know David? We can achieve this. And…; the Visa Waiver? Alan’s…; Visa-Waiver? You know? We discussed this David? For non-EU-citizen tourists to our shores? In the CTA. My man Leo is on-it, as-we-speak David. I assure you. But this fe_ker is not a non-EU-citizen…so no waiver there David I’m afraid. I would have to pull my *veto* on that one.
DAVID-C: _______[ frowns ]
ENDA-T: But David, we discussed this –you, me and Leo– at the British-Irish parliamentary meeting this week? Yes! to increased and intensive co-operation between us: right? Our Police Forces in the Department of the Home Office, and in our Department of Law, Equality & Defence. We, together, going-forward …. on both sides! But not the Dutch & Germans as-well: their sick & ill David? Them too? Are they also part of this ‘Schengen article 75 & 76 of Police-Co-operation and Mutual Assistance’?
DAVID-C: _______[ caption stare ]

Enda: tell me I’m your sexy daddy and I’ll support you in financial transaction tax
Cameron: you’re ah my sexy daddy

Enda ‘Mark my words David… Mayo for Sam its a sure thing, as guaranteed as our banks……’

“You know Cami I just tell the people in Ireland to trust me and that I’m their Daddy”!
“yes of course you do Kenny”!

Come on David we’re meeting my leader Frau Merkel would you ever fix your tie!

Daveen a mhac, you’d want to stop celebrating like that I’m front of merkel and save it for all Ireland Sunday.

Enda: I’m telling ye’, we have white collars, they’ll think we’re criminals