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Bereavement

'To me, Father's Day is just like any other day because there's always something missing'

Father’s Day can be a tough day for those who have lost a child or a father.

shutterstock_258647567 Shutterstock / NadyaEugene Shutterstock / NadyaEugene / NadyaEugene

FATHER’S DAY IS looked upon as a day of happiness, a day to appreciate your loved ones. However, that’s not the case for everyone.

Today can be a tough milestone for the thousands of fathers in Ireland who have lost a child or people who have lost their fathers.

Jarlath Corrigan experienced the loss of his 12-year-old son Cian in 2009, after he suffered a seven month battle with neuroblastoma.

He told us:

To me, Father’s Day is just like any other day because there’s always something missing.

Even though Jarlath has three other children, Father’s Day has never been the same for him.

“On Father’s Day, the rest of my kids come in and give me a card and a present, they make me feel special. But I always look behind them to see if he’s there, there’s just a hole there on Father’s Day,” Jarlath said.

“People don’t understand unless they’ve been through it. I mean no disrespect to anyone by saying that but they truly don’t. What I had in mind about the loss of a child before we lost Cian is not on the same planet as what it actually really is like.”

This is Jarlath’s eighth Father’s Day without Cian, but he said that the experience never gets easier.

“Your life will never be the same after a loss, we’re not the same people that we were eight years ago. Father’s Day never gets easier,” he said.

It never leaves you. There’s not a day, there’s not an hour even that you don’t think of them.

unnamed (1) Thomas Curley and his daughter Zara White Iain White / Fennell Photography Iain White / Fennell Photography / Fennell Photography

As difficult as today can be, fathers that have lost a child or those that have lost a father should try to embrace it and keep busy, Jarlath urged.

We have to remember our loss and get on with it as best as we can but nothing is the same since the loss of our child. But you just have to keep busy. We have three other children and you can’t stop living, you can’t stop celebrating because of a loss.

Anam Cara, a parent bereavement organisation, have launched the #Daddyandme awareness campaign this week to offer a chance for those that have experienced a loss to share their special photos on Facebook, Twitter or Instagram.

People can text REMEMBER to 50300 to donate €2 to Anam Cara’s cause.

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