Just to clarify, I personally NEVER felt guilty for not breastfeeding…but you do hear that some women are made to feel guilty!

well I had great advice and help in UH Galway while in, such lactation classes were twice a day as well as midwives who were doing rounds. suppose I’m thankful such resources were in place.

I do know some of the women who were trying to breast feed didn’t not have their heart in it from the start and gave up very easily. each to their own though… I continued for 8 months… no bottles, no sterilising, hassle free, happy days!

I think you’re right with the whole “if it’s the norm” thing – I’d seen my mother breastfeeding my younger siblings so when I had my son it was just how I assumed I’d be feeding him, even when we had a few hiccups at the start. Also I fear a lot of education can either smack of paternalism (“now now little woman, here is how you must feed your child” ) and/or isn’t much use when not backed up with practical help.

I found when i had my first and i said i was breast feeding, people were shocked. It was like it was a taboo, I was 19 and mom openly talked about us kids being breast fed so i thought nothing of it.

But i still feel many view breastfeeding as taboo.

I breastfed all three of mine and never once noticed men’s eyes popping out of they’re heads! As natural as breastfeeding is some women arent as comfortable ‘popping’ out a boob, if you don’t wanna cover up that’s great and if you do there are loads of handy covers to let you feed baby without feeling exposed.
I think the only way to encourage first timers to breastfeed is to have more midwives dedicated to helping new mothers get started. Maybe 2 midwives on call to visit new mothers everyday, help with the latching on, reassure mothers that they are doing it right and offer support. By the end of my stay in the Rotunda I was the only one in a 4bed unit breastfeeding….two had given up after 24 hours- tiredness, hormones, uncertainty whether or not the baby was getting enough milk were all given as reasons. The nurses looking after us were rushed off their feet so to me a dedicated support system would be very useful.

Tell them to do it at home I don’t want to see there t….

This is another advantage to having gay parents rather than straight. The breast feeding debate never arises.

Ken have you considered seeing a chiropractor? If you have some sort of muscular issue that stops you from turing away then maybe you should get it seen to. It may be psychosomatic, see a shrink while you’re at it.

Ken you were never breast fed I take it. Oh & by the way neither was I. My 4 children were breastfed & their mother was as discreet as could be when doing so. However the amount of neanderthals like yourself including family members making stupid comments was eye opening. The only thing we say about it now is our kids are the proof of the benefit & it was worth the hassle. If you want whats best for children then you too will put up with this.

Breast is best. Obviously not all mothers are able and that’s just the way it is and it can’t be helped, but if you are able, the studies all show that breastfeeding is far better for babies, lowering the risk of obesity, boosting their immune systems and feeding their brains.

Ken the troll was clearly not breastfed. What an appallingly uneducated and ignorant comment. Men go topless all the time and he is complaining about seeing a woman’s breast? Seriously??? She is feeding her baby you eeejit!

I am neither uneducated or an eeejit. I just think there is a time and a place. If u have to go out and feed the baby then why not use a breast pump?

You are clearly both. Do you know that your breasts hurt and leak when you hungry baby cries? Use a breast pump so as not to offend you?! What a joke. How would you like aching breast just so as not to offend neanderthals like you? I hope breastfeeding women everywhere whip out their boobs and offend you.

ken

it’s not that simple, I couldn’t my baby refused to take a fake nipple, she wanted the real deal.

The whole question of education is a little condescending to mothers. What parent doesn’t know about the benefits of breastfeeding. My wife’s decided after both pregnancies that no, she wasn’t going to do it. The carry on in the hospital was very annoying. Constant questioning of her decision and telling her that she wasn’t doing our baby any favours.
It was a bit much. I had to be convinced by my wife not to get involved because it was making my blood boil the guilt that they were making her feel.
It’s a personal decision, if someone decides to breastfeed, great. If not, then great aswell.

OMG Laura where are you getting this information from…most of the things you list are related to lifestyle choices much LATER in life. Anyways I couldn’t care less what people think one way or the other, my two are intelligent, confident, not overweight well adjusted adults with no major health problems, one has bit of asthma (the only one breastfed). If you want to breastfeed great, if not great!!!! Chill!

That is my point exactly. It is an extremely well researched fact that breastfed children have less chance of getting a huge range of illnesses. If that fact is stated is is labeled scaremongering.
Everyone is entitled to make an informed choice. I’m fine with that. What I’m not fine with is taking that choice away from women because it’s seen as scaremongering.
And in the end, guilt is not something you can push on another person. If you make a decision and own it, nobody in the world can MAKE you feel guilty.

Guilt is only felt if the person experiencing it genuinely feel they made a mistake, if a decision is made with perfect clarity and there is no doubt then no guilt will be felt. If the statistics make people doubt and ultimately feel guilt, why do they feel the need to project it on successful breastfeeders who persevered when things did get tough.

I agree Laura, it is a personal choice and I have no problems with women who opt not to breastfeed but the guilt you feel is your own, if you’re truly happy with your decision not to breastfeed then why would you feel guilty about it?

I’m sorry but you are wrong to say that the guilt was our own. My wife was happy with her decision and I was happy to back her decision. We researched it beforehand but were unprepared for the onslaught of midwives etc telling her that she was making the wrong decision. This in my view was wrong.
The narrative on this is a “if you don’t breastfeed then you either don’t know the facts or are intentionally disadvantaging your child”.

Healthcare professionals are obliged to advocate best practice. If they did any less is would be a disservice to their clients.
For instance, a person with asthma or any lung complaint will be told at every visit that they really should not be smoking. A person with drink related complaints will be told at every visit they should not be smoking.
There is only ever a problem with this when it’s about infant feeding. Ive never once heard a smoker complain that the anti smoking ads are scaremongering and are only there to make them feel guilty.

Apologies, I meant a person with a drink related complaint will be told to stop drinking.

Sorry to pick holes, but are you comparing feeding a baby formula with is nutritious to smoking or drinking with is obviously detrimental to your health?
Come on give me a break its a valid either/or choice which ever YOU as a mother decide to do.

This is what I mean by guilt tripping parents.

I was referring to healthcare providers’ obligation to dissuade clients from doing something which will have health implications.
I have previously said that I have no problem with anyone making an informed choice. My problem is that this seems to be the only subject in which facts are labeled as insults. Without information, there is no informed choice. Every parent and child deserves the information for a truly informed choice and I’m sorry if people are offended by that but but the information needs to be given and reinforced.

@Laura. What Health implications? Over Half the children in this country were not breastfed, are you saying as a result they all suffer poor health and are asthmatics/allergy sufferers? All of my sister’s children were formula fed – none of them suffered any childhood illness or have allergies. All of them we’re great sleepers as babies, very intelligent all went on to university, the benefits are negligible in my view. Let the mother decide what she feels works best for her!

Yes, Damien. This is what they’re suggesting. I think this article is to be commended as it states, logically, the risks of formula feeding rather than the “benefits” of human milk. I’m sure it makes uncomfortable reading but I’ve heard it said, and I agree, that this factual approach is less guilt-inducing yet more effective than older campains that just used slogans like “breast is best.”

@John. The health implications are too numerous to list here but 10 minutes of Internet research will give you some idea.
It has been proven that, among other things, babies who are fed something other than breastmilk are at greater risk of SIDS, childhood Leukemia, other childhood cancers, diabetes, obesity, ear infection, throat infections, gastrointestinal problems, hospitalization due to diarrhoea, constipation, allergies, depression, and asthma.

It’s no wonder women feel guilty for not breastfeeding. On one hand they are told they have a choice but if they choose not to breastfeed they are made to feel that they are damaging their babies. Some “choice”.
To use analogies like asthma sufferers and smoking is just plain wrong.
Having and rearing children is hard enough.

@Laura. So with Donegal having one of the lowest rates of breastfed babies in the country they must have a higher child mortality rate than Camodia! Perhaps we should build the Children’s hospital there or Limerick?

Again, I make absolutely no judgement on those who cannot or choose not to breastfeed. I never have, nor will I ever judge another parents choices as long as they are not purposely neglecting, abusing, or harming their children.
But you have perfectly illustrated the point I was making in the first place. I listed proven facts and they were taken as insults.
It is impossible to carry on a discussion when people react to what they imagine you’re thinking, and not on your actual words, so I will bow out at this stage.

@Laura, Sorry but that’s just outrageous. “breast is best” is a walk in the park compared to “Breasfeed or your child has more of a chance of getting leukemia”.
What utter nonsense.
So now any poor parent whose unlucky enough to have a child with cancer now has the guilt of wondering was it because they didn’t breastfeed! The cause could be any no. of things. I’d love to see the statistical analysis. So lets just forget that there’s choice cos there isn’t.

I can see how this is a less guilty approach alright.

@John F health professionals are there to advise on best practice. Breastfeeding is proven through years of research to be the best for the baby. The midwives are responsible as professionals to pass this information on. Most people don’t like to hear it because they have researched it themselves, know that breastfeeding is preferable for a newborn but have chosen what is best for them overall. That is absolutely fine. It would be neglectful of midwife not to pass on the facts, also sometimes in chatting with mothers, fears may be expressed as to why they do not wish to breastfeed and sometimes these issues are resolved and the mother tries it out. Although personally I believe it is best for baby and mother, I also believe that what is best for momma is also best for baby. There is no point in having a tearful, overtired mother pouring all her energy into breastfeeding if she is not enjoying it and most importantly not enjoying her new baby.

One would imagine the disadvantage of formula in comparison to breast would be the fact that one is a natural substance designed to be ingested by human young, and the other is a substitute filled with chemicals which are very similar to nutrients, but have been tweaked just enough for a company to secure patents on them.

It’s not a huge difference chemically, but in terms of bioavailability the difference is immense. Synthetic vitamin isolates are not utilised in the same way by the body and do not have the same effect on blood serum levels as organic food form nutrients. They will provide *some* of what a baby needs, but not all.
(Eg, DL-alpha tocopherol is synthetic vitamin E, it is only absorbed at 50% the rate of real vitamin E and actually interferes with absorption of dietary vitamin E, Ascorbic acid is only part of vitamin C, without the citrus bioflavinoids that ascorbic acid is nowhere near as useful to the body)

This should however come with a caveat. A mothers breast milk is only as good as her diet. If the mother is low on certain nutrients then her breast milk will be too. Many women in the northern hemisphere are low on vitamin D3 and so in later months of the year new mothers are encouraged to give their babies vitamin D drops (really if mom is breastfeeding she should be taking the vitamin D!!). So breast is really at its absolute best when mother is properly nourished, with nutrients in their natural, food form (and good quality sunlight exposure). If mothers diet is appalling, then the formula could be argued to be better because at least there is a full compliment of nutrients no matter how poor their bioavailability may be.

Breastfeeding doesn’t prevent Diabetes Type 1 as it is an auto immune disorder so even if you had bottle fed the results would have been the same!

It also doesn’t prevent : ear infections, chest infections, asthma, tummy bugs, runs, throat infections, diarrhoea, obesity, tooth decay, and so on.

It’s not a magic cure.

It’s overrated.

Talking as a breast fed baby who has allergies, childhood tonsilectomy, stomach problems and so on and a mother of a breast fed child who also suffers from the above.

I’m sure if my daughter had of been bottle fed she would still have all her illnesses, as would have I.

oh and I breast fed her for 2.5 years.

Karla, a lot of those things you describe in your first vs your other babies sounds like an early vitamin D deficiency, which wouldn’t be that uncommon, many people – especially those in the northern part of the world and those who use high SPF creams or avoid sunlight exposure are extremely low on this mislabelled nutrient. In fact, there have been cases of rickets reported in recent years.

It’s called a vitamin, but it’s actually a hormone, made in the skin when UVB sunlight reacts with cholesterol. It regulates pretty much everything else and in addition to being needed for strong bones and teeth, is now known to be crucial for the immune system.

If you were low on vitamin D yourself then you simply wouldn’t have had enough to pass on to your baby. We have been told that the RDA is all we need but the latest research shows that we need substantially more.
This has all only come to light in recent years, possibly after you had your first. These days they encourage mothers to give their babies vitamin D drops in the winter months, but we get sod all sunlight as it is.. Perhaps they should be encouraging it year round.

This could be why the others did better on formula. There would definitely have been vitamin D in it, in fact, as much as they aren’t the best forms to ingest – at least you are guaranteed that all the nutrients are there. I would be inclined to say that yes, breast is best – but if mom doesn’t have it to give or share – then it’s not going to be in the milk. Mothers need to be given better information on nutrition so that they can ensure their milk is the best they can give – for both the baby’s health and their own.

The vitamin d story doesn’t ring true with us, oh and she has never had rickets.

Its just the way she was, some kids are born are more susceptible to illnesses than others regardless of what mill they drink.

a genetic predisposition.

I really don’t think Shanti is saying that the only sign of vitamin D deficiency is rickets, but that better nutrition information should be available for infants and nursing mothers. Which seems fairly reasonable!

forgot to add that i totally support breastfeeding, would loved to have done it, but it is totally up to the mothers personal choice.

That’s not very fair, or accurate. Breast feeding isn’t like say a period .. it doesn’t just happen on some subconscious trigger of your body. First time trying to BF women DO need support and advice and guidance. I completely agree its absolutely a natural thing to do and baby’s instinct is to latch on asap, but that doesn’t mean they automatically get a latch that is comfortable or efficient, and first timers need to have support to know when its better to take the baby off and try again, or the tricks to coax them into getting a suitable latch first time. And over the last 100s of years midwifery was entirely led by older experienced women and not medical as it is today – so all the help support and advice actually WAS there in its best form.

I BFed my first two, fingers crossed in a matter of days I’ll be doing the same with my pending arrival, and from my own experience at that of all my friends who chose to BF, we all found it took time patience and support the first time.

You’d think, wouldn’t you?

I did all the research and believed the same as you until I had my daughter. It turned out that she hadn’t read the same books as me. Breastfeeding is a skill, and some (if not most) women do need help. Especially with small or early babies.

Caroline – that’s simply untrue and makes me so mad. It’s a fact that some women just can’t breast feed. There are loads of reasons. I really wanted to breast feed and was so prepared for it. As it happened, I was told by a lactation nurse that it would be impossible due to flat nipples. That was three days after having my baby and we were both frustrated and desperate at that stage. As I was so committed to it, I expressed every 3 hours even at night as well as feeding baby. I gave up after a month due to exhaustion. My situation was a case of can’t, not won’t.

Did you ever breast feed?