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post-baby bling
10 reasons I most definitely don't want a 'push present' after giving birth
I’m due my second child in a few weeks, but I’m perfectly happy without a ‘reward,’ says Chrissie Russell.
EARLIER THIS YEAR, new mum Kylie Jenner was reportedly treated to a €1.1m Ferrari from her on-off partner Travis Scott, for giving birth their daughter Stormi.
Beyonce, meanwhile, received a pricey blue diamond ring from Jay-Z after Blue Ivy’s arrival in 2012, while the Duchess of Cambridge got a gift with a slightly lower price point – a Harrods’ teddy bear – from Prince William when their first child, George was born in 2013.
Dubbed a ‘push present’, the trend has been around for a while now, and usually sees fathers acknowledging their other half’s efforts in the labour ward with something shiny and expensive – or thoughtful at the very least.
I’m not normally one to look a gift horse in the mouth, let alone turn down a Ferrari or a bit of bling.
However my husband is on strict instructions not to buy me anything when I give birth to our second child in the next few weeks. The sentiment of praising your partner for bringing your offspring into the world is nice, but the whole gift-buying thing still rankles.
Here’s why….
1. I find the whole thing a bit patronising
The mere phrase ‘push present’ conjures up a mental image of me grunting and straining while my partner dangles a Tiffany box over my crotch by way of encouragement. It’s hardly helpful birth partner practice, is it?
2. Plus, they’re usually impractical gifts
Rings are a common push present, but honestly, what’s the point at a time when your fingers are probably still swollen up like sausages? As for a diamond necklace, it’ll just look odd paired with the leggings and milk-spew stained tops I’ll be wearing for the foreseeable future.
3. Isn’t it all a bit outdated?
The push present is a fairly new phenomenon but there’s something horribly 1950s Stepford-wife-ish about it. To me, it’s like saying, ‘Well done darling, you grew my baby beautifully – here’s a trinket. Now get back into the kitchen and roast me a chicken.’ Am I the only one who feels this way?
4. What about the co-parenting?
There’s just nothing about a push present that says ‘co-parenting’ to me. Having a child is a two-person thing, you’re in it together. After all, you didn’t buy him a ‘super sperm souvenir’ did you?
5. In my eyes, it devalues the birth
My husband’s support in the delivery room and his teary reaction to our first son’s birth was far more precious to me than any gift he could possibly have thought up. Let’s leave the commercial aspect out of things.
6. I’m not sure I could fake happiness if the gift was badly chosen
With noble sentiments, my husband did buy me a lovely, large bunch of flowers after the birth of our first child. Unfortunately they were far too big for my tiny hospital cubicle and he almost instantly knocked them over, soaking all the baby clothes we’d brought with us. Could have done without that, tbh.
7. Let’s talk about the word ‘push’ for a second…
So you only get your hands on the present if you push? What about mums who go through C-sections? Labour doesn’t have to be about pushing so let’s dispel that myth.
8. It adds ANOTHER layer of competitiveness to the baby-rearing arena
‘Oh, those are lovely cubic zirconia earrings. I got a nine carat diamond. It cost him over a €100,000 but he simply INSISTED on a carat for every month of pregnancy….”
9. It’s a waste of money
Babies are insanely pricey. Save that cash for nappies, wipes, travel systems, crèche fees, a cleaner, a take-away pizza… There are literally hundreds of things I’d prefer to see the money go towards than some post-baby bling.
10. Er, isn’t the baby the gift?
I don’t want to get all mushy about it, but I don’t need compensation for the privilege of bringing our baby into the world. The best present I could have is a healthy, cuddly, newborn in my arms – not something shiny on my arm.
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