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Dublin: 11 °C Tuesday 21 May, 2013

Column: Why are we so pass-remarkable on weight issues?

We are all aware that discrimination on the basis of race, creed or sexual preference is unacceptable, writes Lisa McInerney, so why is someone’s BMI fair game?

Lisa McInerney

I ASSUME YOU’VE all heard the story of Karen Klein, the American bus monitor whose brutal humiliation by her teenage charges was YouTubed, to the horror of a nation.

What was immediately obvious in the video was that the main red flag to Klein’s antagonists, alongside her perceived social class, was her weight. Yup. Something as inoffensive as an elderly woman’s girth made a bunch of young men insane with hatred. And that they thought enough of their wit to upload the evidence to YouTube afterwards speaks volumes.

You could say that societal norms develop not as a way of grouping us into one happy collective, but rather to keep us in line with the whims and wishes of the strongest among us. What’s acceptable, what’s intolerable, what’s simply ill-mannered – there’s no all-knowing tome that lays it out for us (not even the Bible, which condemns such head-scratchers as the wearing of mixed fibres), so over the centuries we’ve had to figure it out in loose hierarchy.

Mob rule, you could also call it. Some sort of all encompassing Hot Or Not scale.

It might seem a little irreverent to liken universal standards to a Hot or Not scale, but can you think of any other reason for the current climate of derision and hatred directed against those with weight issues?

Yes, weight issues. People who are too hefty, or people who are too frail. People who have unsightly bumps on their rumps or veritable maps of Middle Earth drawn in stretch marks on their thighs: any of those physical manifestations the mob has, relatively recently, decided it doesn’t like. And so we denounce fat people, thin people, people with cankles and people with knobbly knees. You’d imagine there’d be precious few paragons left, after such a whitewash.

Of course, we claim there are reasons for it.

“We feel we have a duty to tell overweight people that they’re weak-willed, a drain on society”

We feel we have a genuine duty to tell underweight people that they’re probably going to die whimpering and that promotion of anorexia is for demons and prissy fashion designers. Even more keenly, we feel that we have a duty to tell overweight people that they’re weak-willed, unhealthy, a drain on society and displeasing to our fragile sensibilities.

And of course, in the majority of cases, an obviously overweight or underweight person is leading a sickly lifestyle and is actively harming themselves and passively harming society (because healthcare for such individuals is a constant consideration and we’re all bent double over the state of the HSE). In such cases, is it not positively injurious to the very fabric of civilization if we keep our mouths shut, if we do not pipe up like the valiant little mouthpieces we are and register our outrage at these defiantly ill-fitting epitomes of humanity’s very end wandering around the place like they have nothing at all to be ashamed of?

Well, surprise! Such concerns are not valid.

There is a fantastic anti-bullying sentiment gaining ground all over the country at the moment – all over the world. With some great work being done by LGBTQ communities, vanguard of the anti-bullying drive, victimising others based on innate strands of their characters is largely frowned upon. Not that bullying has been stamped out all over the world, or anything, but awareness of what is and isn’t acceptable behaviour, and, amongst kids, what is and isn’t inherent in the process of growing up (we’re not still telling kids that dealing with bullies is a fact of life, are we?) is happily prevalent.

And yet look at the world in which we’re trying to spearhead anti-bullying campaigns.

“We punish for discrimination yet we have a bellylaugh at the superficial differences”

Here in the First World, it has become unacceptable to judge people based on their sexual preferences, religion, or race. We tell kids not to pick on each other based on these characteristics. We punish adults for discriminating against such traits. And then we turn around and have a bellylaugh at the superficial differences – height, hair colour, eyesight, dental trajectory, girth.

I can’t persecute you because you’re of a different creed, but I can certainly make you feel miserable because you’ve got a bigger arse.

Bullying is bullying. Granted, people generally don’t get beaten, raped or murdered because they’re on the large or desperately svelte side, but being called disgusting, or irresponsible, or shameful certainly takes its toll. And so, side by side with the wonderful anti-bullying measures being implemented by schools, companies, state bodies and charities, we have fat people as the butt of jokes in mainstream movies, thin people publicly called out for wearing mental illness like an expensive fur, celebrities reduced to hocks for public appraisal.

It’s a vivid disparity.

Perhaps it’s flippant to suggest that if we have Gay Pride week, anti-discrimination laws and a State-protected right to worship however we see fit, then we should also have instant amnesty for something as relatively innocuous as non-standard BMI.

After all, people don’t choose their race or sexuality, and one’s creed may have been several generations in the making, but fat people are fat and thin people are thin because, on some level, they choose to be. Which, for some shrivelled miscreants, makes it ok to make them feel bad about themselves. To force a retreat further into misery. To nourish potential mental health issues. To isolate, and victimise, and tear apart, all for the price of a little laugh or an ego-boost by vicious proxy.

To suggest that this might be down to sincere concern about others’ health crises or one’s own I-tells-it-like-I-sees-it social conscience is nonsense. We’re not sneering at that fat guy or this thin girl because of tough love. To pretend otherwise is laughable.

Read previous columns on TheJournal.ie by Lisa McInerney>

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Comments (31 Comments)

  • When we were young, our Parents made us stand on the bus if an older , pregnant , or anyone more mature than us needed a seat, a Grown up was listened to with respect, why? because our Parents would have killed us had we done otherwise, so I brought my Children up likewise, and thank God they are mannerly caring adults..

    Reply
  • The most blatant cheer-leaders of body fascism are the brain-dead purveyors of garbage that is The Daily Mail.

    Reply
    • Especially the online version of The Daily Mail, my partner has started reading it for the pure lulz. Story after story criticising certain famous people for being too skinny or too heavy, sometimes the same celeb gets papped for both in the same week. It’s incredible in a way that makes your soul throw up a little bit.

      Reply
  • You can’t help your race or sexual orientation. 99 times out of 100 you CAN help your weight. Nobody should be bullied for any reason ever, but unfortunately, bullies exist.

    I need to lose some weight. I could use the excuse that I have a thyroid problem that no amount of drugs would help due to a blood condition… or my arthritis makes it difficult to exercise blah blah blah, wah wah wah, but at the end of the day, I love me chocolate and Tayto too much too. I am my own worst enemy and I’m the only one who can sort me out.

    But insult me about my weight and I’ll be the one who’ll humiliate you. “I may be fat, but I can lose weight. You’ll always be an ignorant c*nt

    Reply
  • Why is there a head in the sand attitude (policy?) to bullying of this type by school authorities in this country?

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    • mcbab 02/07/12 #

      Why can’t parents take some responsibility for the behaviour of their children? This type of derision is often learned at home listening to the adults slagging off people. Monkey see, monkey do.

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    • Dexter the malevolent behaviour refereed to in this article is that of Canadian teenagers. Are you therefore just expressing the usual leprechaun poison?

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    • Miles Ar An Capallín, I certainly am not expressing ‘the usual leprechaun poison’ as you describe it. In this case I am motivated by the personal experiences of two of my children. If you are not aware of this widespread problem in Irish schools, you too have your head in the sand.

      Mcbab, you are right in your comments regarding the behaviour of adults, but these parents are not going to listen to anyone telling them how to ‘rear’ their children.

      Reply
    • There’s a widespread problem with fat kids being mocked in Irish schools?

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    • Dexter Gordon, bullying takes place in every country and in every society in the world. It is no more widespread in Ireland than any other jurisdiction. If you have scientific information to the contrary I suggest you publish it. Otherwise readers are entitled to think that your opinion is based on nothing more than prejudice. Furthermore every school that I am aware of in the country has an anti-bullying policy and actively enforces it. Like all schools everywhere some are better at implementation than others.

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    • Easy on man. Where did I say it is more widespread in Ireland than any other jurisdiction, in fact I’m sure it’s not. Therefore the issue of prejudice doesn’t come into it (although you wouldn’t believe the depth of my prejudice against bullies).

      I’m just interested in what is happening in Irish schools. If you or any of your children were the victims of bullying, you might not be so cocky. To say that every school that you are aware of (how many are you aware of?) in the country has an anti-bullying policy and actively enforces it is total nonsense in my opinion.

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    • Dexter Gordon that is what I am saying, it is your opinion and it does not appear to be supported by facts. Your use of assumptions in place of facts does not convince me that your opinions are not based on mere prejudice. How do you know that my children have not been bullied or how many school yard bullies had to have my boot surgically removed? (metaphorically speaking of course.)

      Reply
  • “it has become unacceptable to judge people based on their sexual preferences, religion, or race.”

    True, apart from religion. That seems increasingly fair game.

    So we shouldn’t judge on what people have no control over.

    Bloatery is often down to self control.

    Reply
    • Children have no control over what religion the are born into. Adults however should be held responsible for their beliefs. Whether they are atheist, agnostic or if they are using books written in the iron age about invisible sky leaders who order them to be full of bigotry and hate.nnWe’ve spent thousands of years allowing superstition and gullibility to go unchallenged. Enough.

      Reply
    • “if they are using books written in the iron age about invisible sky leaders who order them to be full of bigotry and hate”

      If that’s supposed to be a parody of the ironically bigoted statements that some proselytizing atheists come out with it’s an excellent one. Well done. Bit Off Topic though.

      Reply
    • I’m glad you have no issue with challenging atheists. Reasoned argument is important in society. But your original comment seems to imply that we shouldn’t judge people based on their religion. So which is it?

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    • Damocles 02/07/12 #

      “I’m glad you have no issue with challenging atheists.”

      I’ve yet to meet one. But if you know any challenging atheists feel free to find a suitable forum and I will welcome them gladly for their rarity value alone.

      “your original comment seems to imply that we shouldn’t judge people based on their religion.”

      No, it didn’t. Ms McInerney suggested that judging people on religion has become unacceptable, I would say that judging people on religion has become very much acceptable. My contention was that to judge people on that which they have no control over should be unacceptable in any civilised society, but to judge people on that which they do have control over is quite normal and understandable. Judging people on their religion, their sport affiliation and indeed on their bloatery (where it is not genuinely medically caused) would be normal and understandable in an intelligent and civilised society, should one ever exist.

      Capisce?

      Reply
    • Ok then I see now where the confusion lies. I read your statement as being a whine that religions are “fair game”, whereas you were simply correcting the author.

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  • “Shrivelled miscreants” is my new favourite phrase. Great article. I’m amused that so many of the comments start with the whole “well fat people need to cop on” before decrying bullying on that basis: we sure like to hold on to our judgements!

    Reply
  • The sentiment in this column is entirely valid. There is a tide a of disdain after rising in this country ‘the fight against obesity!’ ‘it’s a pandemic!’nnBut both anorexia and obesity are primarily mental health issues. To judge someone on these matters, to make them feel worse than they already do, is inexcusable. Yet there is a strange acceptance of the circus is has turned into. Fat families! Operation transformation! The biggest loser! Media is playing its part in delivering this state of mind that is allowed to thrive at the expense of those who can ill afford it.

    Reply
  • It’s not so much bullying (though I’ve had that too) but people feeling they have a right to pass comment. An example, I went into a high street store to buy a gift for my (slimmer) sister and the minute I crossed the threshold the shop assistant walked up to me and stated “We don’t have anything your size here” as if I was lowering the tone of the business by my mere presence. I was so shocked I just walked out but always regret not giving her a piece of my mind, after all if I wanted to squeeze my lardyass into a top 3 sizes too small then that’s my right (nobody tell the fashion police! lol)

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  • If only the immature mind could be a mature mind, it would not allow bespectacled people to be called ‘four eyes’, thin people to be called ‘skinnymalinks, fat people to be called ‘fatso’ or any other obvious feature to be used pejoratively and we would not have laws protecting the immature. The childish abuse perpetrated by the immature has feic all got to do with high BMI and more to do with natural teenage recalcitrance. However articles on this subject would not be sexy enough to warrant publication.

    Teenagers will always be immature and society has ways of dealing with that immaturity when it gets out of hand. The perpetrators of the abuse against Karen Klein received one years suspension from school. Thus sanctions do exist to stamp out immature behaviour but it will never be eliminated totally. If only teenagers could learn without making mistakes!

    Reply
  • OMG, what’s next the smokers need our love to!

    There are two primary problems with weight: kids born into an obese family, they don’t stand a chance as the eating habits are breed into them, they need to learn what they’re doing in the long term is bad for them. Or people who become obese, a lot of the time this is caused by people not being able to deal with something in their lives and they resort to comfort food, most say stress or not having time to eat right. Very, very few people are obese because of genetics, that said there are some medications that cause people to hold weight.

    Obesity isn’t a disease it’s caused by people eating too much of the wrong types of food and not exercising enough. It’s nothing like being Gay, Black, etc which is just the way you’re born.

    As for bullying that’s a far deeper problem, with multiple causes. But generally its done to make the bully feel better about themselves or to entertain others again lifting the bully’s status amongst peers. People bully people all the time with little snide comments behind other peoples backs out of ear shot.

    Reply
  • Lighten up folks, as a friend of mine a taxi driver who was over 25 stone and about 5ft” 9 use to say “Fat people make me feel sick they are gross ” too much p.c. nonsense these days

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  • Well Jonathan, I take it you dont smoke, sympathy is deserved by anyone with a problem, not just the ones that are the in thing, or that strike your cord, what about drinkers do you have sympathy with them, I myself dont do either, but feel sorry for both if its causing them problems or to get bullied, then thats the way I was rared…

    Reply
    • Nope, just another addiction like food, although food gives a different kind of buzz. But is just as much a real addiction as smokes or alcohol.

      The problem is we need food to live, the other two aren’t required. That’s why food is a more sensitive subject. We have to eat, who has the right to tell me what I can or can’t eat? It’s like the Fat Tax they wanted to introduce into England. Why should I have to pay an next Euro tax on food I want to eat just because the government doesn’t like it. Do they make new health laws saying food must conform to standards? A meal should contain no more then XXg of Fat or Carbohydrates from surge before it’s classed a Junk.

      The bullying you can’t defend and I would never try, but to think there’s no cause to the reason why some one chooses to bully is over simplifying the problem. The bully can often be bullied in some area of their life, it’s a learned habit, which other posters here have already said. It can be a cycle. Ignorance breeds Ignorance.

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    • Point is Jonathan, smokers pay for their health care through the huge amount of tax on their chosen poison. I remember hearing a few months ago that if everyone who did smoke in the UK suddenly quit, the funding for the NHS would be cut to such a degree that the treatment of patients non smoking related illnesses would be effected. Smokers pay more into the health care system than any other tax payer. That is a fact.

      While the obese are allowed away with access to really cheap, poor quality food that worsens their situation. They don’t pay anywhere near as much tax to cover the related diseases and conditions they develop because of THEIR choice. So yeah it bothers me that you could eat McDs 4 times a day, 7 days a week relatively cheaply, while damaging your health. There should be some higher tax on bad food like that….it may help put people off eating it that extra day a week.

      Reply
  • It’s just that we are afraid that we may become the person that we take exception to- regardless whether it is a disability, race, creed, or just an idiotic perception.

    It is ignorance and fear – a primal instinct that wishes to wipe out all that we see to be threatening to ourselves. Even if they are weaker or more vulnerable; maybe because they are weaker or more vulnerable.

    It does not justify bullying and discrimination – that happens as a result of our own weakness and vulnerability and lack of self-esteem. An because of our evil inclinations, like it or not.

    We human beings are still learning how to evolve into decent animals!

    And, I have seen that children can be the most vicious animals in creation. Especially towards one another.

    I know, I witnessed such behaviour as a child, and also took part in it. A bully today- being bullied tomorrow!

    Bullying was great fun at the time; as we were all in it together and we must all be right!

    We saw no harm in it; later, I realised it was the same as dogs hunting in packs – vicious, mean, ignorant and shameful.

    But, whether right or wrong, I got the same sort of treatment back in spades later – what goes round comes round.

    I learned the hard way. One personal lesson that I learned from being bullied is that fighting back and standing up to the bullies has the effect of shaking their confidence and resolve.

    A bully feeds off vulnerable persons in order to gain some self-esteem, status and control.

    When the victim no longer appears to be vulnerable, the bully is at a loss and must reconsider; probably choosing another victim.

    That was 40 years ago; might not be good advice nowadays with some of the feral thugs that pass for children nowadays.

    I have made sure that my children are fully aware of the evils of bullying. It helps to tell them that they may well be the next victims of the bullies!

    We all need to look at our own behaviour – and reflect on our own attitudes.

    Are we all so righteous and guiltless? Are our own children bullies?

    I have no doubt that as far as schools are concerned, there is a compelling onus on teachers to tackle bullying and to treat it as an evil that should not be allowed to occur in any aspect of school life.

    Parents, employers and all others in positions of authority have the same moral duty.

    Reply
  • I would take no notice of Miles Ar an Capallín, this person has no clue on the real goings on in life god bless him/her!! I’ve read his/her previous posts and by god this person talks some amount of sh*te, god bless him, and his children….which I am sure he none, but he had to make a point so if pretending to have children secured that point so be it Miles

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  • Kate 03/07/12 #

    “We are all aware that discrimination on the basis of race, creed or sexual preference is unacceptable so why is someone’s BMI fair game?”

    Wow, I’m not saying bullying is ok at all, but to compare it to the above? They’re not even remotely comparable. Racism and religious discrimination has led to the Crusades, the Holocaust, slavery, genocide and literally millions of people have been killed in history because of their race or religion. Homosexuality is still illegal in over 70 countries, and is punishable by death in 7 of those countries. People are routinely killed due to race, creed or sexual preference, even in more developed countries.

    Sure, it’s unfair to bully others because of their weight, but it’s seriously detrimental to your argument to pretend it’s even close to those other kinds of discrimination.

    Reply

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