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WHO REMEMBERS GROWING up and being told, “It’s rude to stare?” Well, it looks like Gen Z may have missed the memo on that one, because the generation born between 1997 to 2012 is getting called out for their love of giving silent blank expressions.
The look is being called the ‘Gen Z Stare’ and has sparked furious debate online, with many of the Zoomers in question not at all happy about it being called out.
Intergenerational beefs are nothing new, of course. Boomers (1946-1964) having a go at Gen X (1965-1980) for being slackers, Gen X branding Millennials (1981-1996 ) snowflakes, and Millennials calling Gen X cynics, to name but a few.
In the same way, siblings like to annoy each other and point out the obvious with a smug, superior air; generations have always pointed out unpalatable home truths about each other.
As a millennial, I feel like Gen Z should have seen this coming. Zoomers have been taking aim at Millennials in particular for years. Everything from our side partings to our love of skinny jeans has been ridiculed at length. What Gen Z probably don’t realise, however, is that the beauty of getting older is that you tend not to get offended by what the younger generation thinks of how you look or dress.
If anything, it just makes us laugh and even more confident in our style choices. Plus, you can’t ignore the irony of being lectured to about how you dress when it’s being done by people wearing pretty much everything we had hanging in our wardrobes in the 90s.
Gen Z was also the one to hit upon the much-parodied ‘millennial pause,’ which is when a person hits record and takes a short pause before speaking. Millennials, by and large, also found this hilarious and, for the most part, leaned into this keen observation, making it their own rather than getting offended.
Gen Z, on the other hand, is not taking their own generational appraisal so well, with many insisting this so-called stare doesn’t exist.
Up until a week ago, I would have said the ‘Gen Z stare’ didn’t exist either, but like anything obvious that’s suddenly pointed out to you (shoutout to the person who pointed out that North Wales looks like a person in a hat pointing at Wexford), I literally cannot unsee it.
Like many of Gen Z’s elders, be it parents, teachers, college lecturers, prospective employers, customers, or colleagues, it was a phenomenon that I’d encountered on a daily basis but had no name for what it was. It was only when I was getting a coffee the other day from my local coffee shop that it hit me.
It must be noted that this coffee shop prides itself on knowing and chatting to its regulars. So, a bit of casual chat or asking each other about your day, and so on, is the norm. I’m one of those regulars who come in once a day for their coffee, and I usually don’t even have to ask for my order; they just say “the usual?” But on this morning, a different member of staff was behind the counter, so I asked for my order. I made the seemingly fatal error of asking the young guy with the mullet and the moustache how he was while I paid for my coffee.
Then there it was in all its glory. ‘The Gen Z stare’.
It was like the human version of the buffering symbol, as he looked back at me with a vacant expression that lasted longer than it should have. You know when you’re reading a book and the author refers to something as a “long moment,” well, this was it in real life.
Afterwards, I realised I’d come across the same sort of reaction before in response to very simple or basic questions or interactions, but I hadn’t been sure if the stare was dissociation, annoyance, or confusion, or maybe a mix of all of the above, with some social anxiety thrown in for good measure?
While it may be a sore point for Gen Z, lots of us are being met with these eerie silences that wouldn’t be out of place in a scene from Village of the Damned, where the little kids silently gaze at the unsuspecting inhabitants who are in for the chop.
Although Gen Z isn’t about to pull a move like that, there’s no denying the stare is a thing. But what’s behind it? Are Zoomers perpetually annoyed? Do we, on the other side of the stare, have something in our teeth or have two heads?
Or is it that Gen Z is simply over real-life interactions altogether? They are the first proper digital native generation, after all and so it’s fitting that this debate seems to be raging on TikTok where Zoomer content creators are making videos like this one which has been viewed over 2.8 million times, insisting the stare is simply a response to being asked “stupid questions” especially if they are working in a customer service role.
I’m not sure if simple things like “hello” or “good morning” or “can I have a latte to go?” fall into these categories, but the stare of the annoyed retail or customer service employee is not the stare this phenomenon is referring to. That stare, the one when a customer is being an over-the-top diva or making outrageous demands (especially during the festive season), is one every person who has ever worked in a customer-facing role will know all too well. Chances are they have given that stare many times, regardless of their age.
The Gen Z stare is something else.
Some have proffered that it’s a reflection of this generation’s love affair with all things screens. Growing up in the glare of technology, everything from friendship to dating to job interviews is online, so it’s obvious they’d be lacking real-world social skills, right?
Others have insisted it’s a hang-up from the Covid 19 pandemic and lockdowns, which saw many Gen Zs miss out on those first workplace experiences and social interactions, the generations before them took for granted.
While others have said, it’s simply that Gen Z knows their boundaries and doesn’t owe anyone an interaction or response at all.
As a millennial, I, of course, have no idea what the real reason for it is. I’m likely too preoccupied with my love of skinny jeans and avocado toast, while getting panicked every time the phone rings.
Niamh O’Reilly is a freelance writer and wrangler of two small boys, who is winging her way through motherhood, her forties and her eyeliner.
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