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LAST UPDATE | 6 Jan
WHEN I TOLD a colleague in the UK about Nollaig na mBan, she was envious, if somewhat incredulous, that the 12th day of Christmas, the day when the three wise men arrived in Bethlehem, was, in parts of Ireland, a day when the friendships, care and work of women was celebrated.
Upending wise men and, their frankly useless gifts, gold, frankincense and myrrh, for a new mother, with the wonderful idea of women coming together to celebrate themselves seemed revolutionary!
Nollaig na mBan has always been part of my life. Growing up in Kerry the 6th of January was always Women’s Christmas. Throughout the Christmas period, women, mothers particularly, were kept busy ensuring a groaning table of wonderful food, houses laden with decorations, delivery of Santy for the young children and provision of food and entertainment for the endless line of visitors who would come to the door. Christmas was and is a time of rest and relaxation for many, but usually not for the woman of the house.
Then on the 6th of January, the 12th day of Christmas, she was, in theory, allowed to put her feet up, relax, be served up a meal, meet her female friends later for some celebrations and end the Christmas on a relaxed note. Next day, the work would begin again as the decorations had to come down, the children were heading back at school, and life returned to normal.
The origins of the idea Woman’s Christmas in the South West of Ireland are unclear, but what is clear is that it has been celebrated since at least the 19th century. In the wonderful UCD Folklore collections, there are references to the practice of Women’s Christmas. In a post shared today from its schools’ collection, a contributor wrote that January 6th was when ‘the feastings of Christmas were carried out but on a smaller scale’.
The men used to say ‘Nodlag na mBan, Nodlag an mhaith’ (Women’s Christmas, no good Christmas, but the women said ‘Nodlag na mBan, Nodlag go maith’ (Women’s Christmas, great Christmas). Unusually, this 1930s report came from Valleymount School, in Wicklow, where I had not expected to find much reporting of this custom.
By the early and mid-20th century, the celebration of Nollaig na mBan in the south west counties of Cork and Kerry was a very strong tradition. As it was the Feast of the Epiphany, it would begin with attendance at mass, but afterwards it was a day to catch up and socialise with their female friends, neighbours and relations.
The food would not be as heavy as on Christmas Day, and over the Christmas season generally, with ‘dainties’, biscuits, currant cakes and tea on the menu – and maybe some sherry or wine.
Perhaps this is why the men scoffed at it; the folklorist Kevin Danaher said, in 1970, the Christmas Day had the heavy men’s fare while the ‘dainties’ preferred by women – cake, wine and tea – were served.
Dr Marion McGarry, who researches Irish customs and traditions, notes that perhaps the fare for Nollaig na mBan were the leftovers from Christmas, and a way to finish off the cakes, treats and sweets before a return to the normal, daily diet. It was also the last day the decorations were up, they would come down the next day, a return to normal as that was a job usually done by women.
In the later part of the 20th century, while the tradition of Nollaig na mBan was not known in many parts of Ireland, and died out in other parts, it remained strong in north and west Kerry. In recent decades, however, there has been a revival of the custom, not just in Munster, but in many parts of Ireland. Driven in part by feminism and feminist activists, women’s groups and the dispersal of young women from the south west to universities and/or work throughout the country, Nollaig na mBan is now a well-known and loved custom.
The modern revival of Nollaig na mBan is a celebration of female friendship and connection, more than a day of rest for women in the home; although it remains that as well. It is time for gatherings of friends, many who might not see each other often, to celebrate and raise a glass to their friendship. It is a time to celebrate the achievements of women, and many cultural, artistic and literary gatherings around the country are doing just that this evening. While it is also a time that many think about and celebrate women in Irish history, for many it is about celebrating the ties that bind women together in their daily lives – family, friendship, relationships and those in our female support networks.
Modern Nollaig na mBan is for all women, young, old, straight, gay, cis, trans, mothers, daughters, singles, married – many will celebrate the power and beauty of female friendships and connections and the support women give to each other. In a world rife with misogyny, when the algorithms of social media deliver so much horrid trolling and hatred of women, to have a tradition that celebrates all that women are and do is something wonderfully special. Long may it last, and as they would say in Kerry, more power to it.
Nollaig na mBan shona daoibh go léir.
Dr Mary McAuliffe is a historian and lecturer in Gender Studies at UCD.
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