AS THE PRESIDENTIAL election draws nearer — it was announced this week that it will take place on 24 October — candidates have begun to appear and buzz about like hornets shaken from a nest.

Much more like hornets shaken from a nest, however, are the literal hornets who have been appearing around Cork this week. One nest has already been destroyed by the National Parks and Wildlife Service, but continued hornet sightings (including as far north as west Dublin) indicate that there may be more hives somewhere out there. 

The public has been encouraged to take vigilante action against the hornets, with organisations such as the Cork Beekeepers’ Association providing information to the public on how they can successfully trap a hornet. These traps can be bought online, and, in fairness, are a significantly more effective solution than what I’d been planning to do (simply punch the hornets clean out of the sky). 

They do not, however, provide any information on how best to get information out of a hornet — who they might be working for, what their grand plan is, where the rest of their little friends are, etc — so presumably we’re allowed to use our own discretion when it comes to making them talk.  

While we adjust to our new lives, subordinate to the inevitable onslaught of hornets, we still must keep an eye on our own, quaint, human affairs.

This week, for example, former RTÉ weather presenter and meteorologist Joanna Donnelly surprised many by announcing that she would be seeking a nomination to get on the ballot for next month’s presidential election. She then surprised us further by withdrawing herself from consideration mere days later.

Donnelly’s about-face followed a series of interviews she gave to several publications, some of which were more cryptic than might be expected of someone embarking on a political campaign.

In an interview with The Journal, she said: “When you stand in a relaxed manner with your hand in your pocket, you look like somebody that is in control, sure of themselves, relaxed… And you can only be those things if you’re confident that what you’re saying is the truth.” Another interesting perspective, since The Godfather taught us that the reason to stand with your hand in your pocket is to convince Sollozzo’s goons that you’ve got a gun. 

In another interview, she specifically said: “I expect nothing from this.”

It should perhaps come as little surprise, then, that 72 hours after announcing her nomination, Donnelly thought better of it, issuing a statement in which she said: “I’ve come to see just how wholly unprepared I am”. It’s a level of humility that’s rare to see in the political arena, and god knows that there are plenty of others who don’t see their own unpreparedness as a disqualifying matter.

At some point in the near future, we might want to have a conversation about why the office of the president attracts the attention of such unserious people. Or maybe we need to have a conversation about how much credence we give these unserious people. Maybe before rewarding these people with the slate of media appearances they so obviously crave, we should wait until they say something more substantial than: “I want to be the president”.  You know, the same way NASA doesn’t give out job interviews to five-year-olds just because they say they want to be an astronaut. At least they didn’t when I was a kid.

While the functions of the president are fixed by the Constitution, there is plenty to be said for the effect the president can have through vibes alone. Outgoing president Michael D Higgins has proven a savvy marshall of the vibes over the past 14 years, leaning, knowingly or not, on the charm of his small stature, his enormous, beloved dogs, and the nickname bestowed upon him as a result of a child’s homework answer that went viral (Miggledy). 

It’s early days in the presidential campaign, but already, the vibes are off.

The vibes are off when, in doing our duty as citizens trying to stay abreast of current affairs, we watch Kieran Cuddihy reduce presidential wannabe Nick Delehany to near-petrification on live TV over inaccuracies contained in a statement Delehanty put out regarding flags, in which he cited Danish flag rules laws that may or may not exist.

Delehanty is just a guy who used to work for Arthur Cox or something. Now he owns a daycare for dogs. I have absolutely no idea why he gets to be on TV, or why we should be hearing from him, other than he wants to be president. In the last year or so, he’s run for local election and in the general election, and he has failed both times.  Nearly seven weeks until this election and we’re already discussing Danish flag law with a guy who’s probably not even going to get on the ballot. The vibes are off.

The vibes are off when we’re watching Conor McGregor, recently found liable for sexual assault, outside the office of the Taoiseach, delivering a speech so rehearsed that it looks like he’s lost the ability to string two sentences together extemporaneously. At least Joe Biden was 81 years old; what is Conor’s excuse?

In McGregor’s own words, he would have only one priority as president: “To ensure that the country our founding fathers gave their lives for is strictly adhered to on behalf of its citizens”. To ensure that the country is adhered to? Go ahead. Read that statement back as many times as you want, go watch the full video if you like, it won’t make any difference.

Have you ever heard the ‘founding fathers’ referred to in an Irish context before? I doubt it. What does it mean for a country to be ‘adhered to’? Nothing. What does the phrase ‘on behalf of its citizens’ add to the nonsense that preceded it? And remember, this is how he describes his only priority. In a video that he chose to put out. The video is shot from the chest up, too, so you can’t even tell if his hands are in his pockets.

None of this is to say that candidates from outside the party system should be discouraged. Look at Catherine Connolly, for example. Sure, she won the support of the Soc Dems, People Before Profit, and Labour-minus-Alan-Kelly, but she’s not a member of any of those parties. She won them over because she’s spent the last nine years doing public service rather than accumulating tens of millions of euro, being convicted of various crimes and blessing herself outside the office of the Taoiseach. 

And besides, it is not only the outsiders who are treating the presidency like a vanity exercise.

What does it say, after all, when Ireland’s largest political party have decided they’ve got a better chance of winning the office by putting forward a sporting hero, whose views are almost entirely unknown? Fianna Fáil have sided with Jim Gavin ahead of their own MEP Billy Kelleher, who has twice won election to the European Parliament after serving as a TD for 22 years. He even held onto his seat back in 2011 and 2016, before everyone seemingly forgot how badly Fianna Fáil handled the financial crash and its aftermath. 

It’s an interesting message for any party to send its parliamentarians. Yes, you can spend decades as one of the party’s most electable politicians, but be ready to swallow your ambition if Ruby Walsh or Paul O’Connell fancy taking your spot someday.

It is unlikely, though not impossible, that any of these fringe candidates will make it onto the ballot for next month’s election. Nevertheless, it may merit a conversation around the way presidential elections in Ireland are conducted, and whether it serves the public interest to cede so much attention to people who either don’t understand, don’t care about, or don’t respect the responsibilities they would have as president.

We may get away with it this time, but sooner or later we are certain to be stung. Metaphorically, I mean, but on our current trajectory, it’s really only a matter of time before one of the hornets writes to the local authorities looking for their endorsement.