THE SAYING GOES that the two things that you can be sure of in this life are death and taxes.
Well, we’d like to float the motion to add one more thing: money trouble. Specifically, organising money repayment among a group of friends.
As if Irish people weren’t awkward enough by nature, cash flow issues create lots of totally cringe moments… Let’s relive some of them.
1. Round and round we go
Ah, rounds. The eternal struggle. Not only are they entirely responsible for some of our sorest heads, but they also raise delicate politics around the people involved and who owes what.
Not to mention how much of a nightmare this can pose for teetotalers – or chancers who ask for a pint and a short, for that matter. Nerve-wracking. Requires more diplomacy than you’d find in the UN canteen.
What are your options here? Either opt out or roll with the punches… Or else conveniently ‘forget’ someone’s second drink.
2. Behind enemy lines
Charity begins at home, but that doesn’t mean that you want your pesky, loud flatmate eating your potato waffles – and never putting any money in the gaff kitty for milk and toilet paper.
However, please note to anyone who relates: passive-aggressive notes are not the answer. Don’t be that guy. Straight-up confrontation isn’t much better, but at least in that scenario you’d have your waffles.
(Silent seething is also always on the table, of course.)
3. The slaughterhouse fiveSource: PeppermintPepperoni/YouTube
Five-a-side is a fun and active addition to anyone’s week. However, the years of your life that you’ll be improving with this regular exercise are actually simultaneously being shaved off by the stress induced by the subs issue.
John forgets every week. Liam doesn’t have change. Anton didn’t show, so wants his three quid back… Give us strength. It’s not like you can tell Steve to do one because he hasn’t paid in months, is it?
(Or is it?)
4. The artful dodger
Let’s get one thing straight: no one likes being the person who has to pester friends for money they are owed.
The sound thing to do is sort it quickly so no one winds up feeling like a debt collector. But then there are the friends who just dodge the issue. Maybe it’s forgetfulness, but it sure feels like being inconsiderate.
Again, this is where silent resentment is tossed up against the awkward fifth text about that €35 you need before payday. ‘Mare.
5. Wedding bells of doom
Hens and stags. Stags and hens. A huge amount of organisation goes into any average weekend away, but when you add into the mix things like prosecco receptions, paint-balling expeditions, decorations, room-sharing, and people who don’t even know each other…
Well, let’s just say that financially speaking, things get interesting.
6. Rivaling the UFC
Fighting over the bill at the end of a meal is a sport and should be recognised by the Olympics as a competitive game of skill and athleticism. Tears have been shed. Battles have been won. Bills have been paid.
(Pro tip: sneak up and pay the bill while you’re on the way from the loo… Then prepare to face the music once your dining companions notice.)
Circle lets you send and receive money on your phone, for free – like a text or email filled with cash. You can fire money over to your friends, split bills, convert between currencies, and send requests for people to settle up. And all you need to do is sign up with your phone and debit card.