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InvestigatesExporting Abortion‘I’ve never felt so abandoned by my country’ — ‘The trauma of our experience has lingered, and having to travel for a termination made an awful situation so much worse’ — ‘My friends and I all voted for Repeal, what did we vote for?’
IRELAND VOTED TO repeal the Eighth Amendment of the Constitution in May 2018 and legislation allowing for greater access to abortion services was signed into law the following September.
While many women can now access abortion services within Ireland, others are still forced to travel for a variety of reasons – around 240 women travel to the UK for a termination each year. Some women travel to the Netherlands or Spain, but the vast majority go to England.
In Ireland, a woman can have an abortion for any reason before she is 12 weeks pregnant. After this she can only have a termination in exceptional circumstances such as when her life is at risk, or the foetus has an anomaly or life-limiting condition.
A number of women have shared their personal experiences of having to travel to access services – something they said made a traumatic experience even worse.
In some cases, they struggled to book appointments and had issues bringing their baby’s remains home. They told The Journal Investigates they wanted to share their stories to highlight the fact that, at their most vulnerable, they could not receive treatment in their own country.
Their stories are also the stories of thousands of European women who still have to travel abroad to get an abortion.
On Monday, we reported that more than 5,000 women travel from their home countries every year due to the difficulties they face in accessing abortion care.
This stark statistic was a key outcome of a months-long investigation, Exporting Abortion, coordinated by Spanish outlet Público, with The Journal Investigates as a core partner.
Carol McLoughlin said that having to travel to England for a termination “made an awful situation so much worse”.
In 2022, Carol was pregnant with her third child. “A much wanted baby girl,” she said.
At 10 weeks, she underwent a scan which showed there was a high probability her daughter had Down syndrome.
In the following weeks, Carol underwent “extensive scanning and tests” at the National Maternity Hospital on Holles Street in Dublin city. These tests uncovered a more serious issue.
“The consultant said, apart from the Down syndrome, this was not a viable pregnancy and the baby’s organs were not developing,” Carol explained.
“However, because the underlying reason for this was the diagnosis of Down syndrome, they could not end the pregnancy.”
Carol said the staff at Holles Street were kind, but could not carry out a termination. They helped her book an appointment at a clinic in London.
The day she was due to fly out, she went to Holles Street that morning for a scan. If the baby’s heart had stopped beating, she could be treated in Dublin. If not, she would have to board the flight.
“There was still a heartbeat,” Carol recalled.
So our options were to travel or to wait for the heartbeat to stop which we were assured it absolutely would, but they could not say when.
“I couldn’t stand the mental anguish of waiting for my baby to die so we travelled for the termination.”
Carol said the staff in Holles Street treated her “with kindness and care” and were “very upset and frustrated that they couldn’t help us”.
After undergoing the termination in July 2022, Carol and her husband brought their baby’s remains back to Ireland.
We travelled by plane to London and had to carry our child’s remains back to Ireland in our carry-on luggage, packed in a picnic bag, surrounded by bags of frozen veg we bought in M&S.
“We also had to explain to security in Heathrow that we were carrying foetal remains, and experienced a delay while they checked the procedure for this and scanned the bag.”
“The trauma of our experience has lingered, and having to travel for a termination made an awful situation so much worse,” Carol said.
“My friends and I all voted for Repeal, what did we vote for?”
When Maeve* was 21 weeks pregnant in 2020, she had a scan which confirmed her baby had severe spina bifida and hydrocephalus (a buildup of fluid in the brain).
“Our consultant said most people with this diagnosis opt for termination. However, if we did, we would have to go to the UK,” Maeve recalled.
She and her husband had two other young children at the time, aged just one and two. They named their third child, a little boy, James.
Maeve underwent numerous other tests in the subsequent weeks, dealing with various specialists.
Every time we went back, the news was worse. Our little boy was so sick.
“We were given the options: One. Go to full-term (he was due on Christmas Day) and don’t intervene when he’s born i.e. just watch him die.
“Two. Go to full-term and he will be transferred to Temple Street [children's hospital] to be made comfortable, to again inevitably watch him die.
“Three. End his pain and suffering before it really starts and opt for a termination. But this will have to be done in the UK.”
Where a medical issue will almost certainly result in a baby’s death – but it’s difficult to say exactly when i.e. if it will be within 28 days after birth – there is a grey area. Many women who find themselves in this position end up having to travel to the UK for a termination.
“James, according to Irish law, ‘didn’t have’ a fatal foetal abnormality, so it was illegal to have a termination in Ireland,” Maeve said.
“James had severe spina bifida. He was paralysed from above the waist down, his bladder and bowel didn’t work, he had severe hydrocephalus. Nothing worked except his heart.”
How was it OK for me to go full term and let him suffer the minute he was born?
After weeks of tests, Maeve and her husband made the difficult decision that she would travel to England to have a termination. It was the height of the Covid-19 pandemic which made travelling even more stressful. Maeve booked an appointment at a clinic in Birmingham.
Maeve said she was told there could be issues with bringing James back on a flight, so they opted to take the ferry. The other option was to have his body cremated and his remains “delivered to us by courier a few weeks later”.
“There was no way I was leaving my baby behind. So we got the ferry to Holyhead then drove to Birmingham, a nine-hour journey altogether.”
Maeve had the termination in September 2020. “The staff were so nice. Our consultant was so nice.”
She had to be scanned again “just to confirm everything from the scans from Ireland”.
“That’s when we were told James had no skull bone,” Maeve said. “The nurse took my bloods and told me she had been doing this job for many years now and she couldn’t remember seeing another baby as sick as James.”
Maeve said this was “only the beginning of a very tough few days”.
When a pregnant woman is in her late second trimester or third trimester, labour induction is often the method of termination used.
“On Saturday, we were back in the hospital for 11am. I remember so clearly how empty the room was, just a bed and a small cot. No machines, nothing.
“I was induced at 12pm. At 8.26pm, our little boy James was born. He was one pound 13oz and 37cm long. He looked just like his siblings.”
As James was born on a Saturday, Maeve and her husband could not go home until Monday as the coroner did not work on the weekend.
“I was up the wall. I just wanted to bring my boy home and get home to my two other babies. Monday came and it took until 3pm to get the coroner’s report, stillbirth cert and a letter in case we were stopped at customs.”
They had planned to bring James home in a willow basket with his name engraved on it, which had been given to them from the hospital in Ireland, but had to change their plans.
“Babies the size of James are not embalmed – which we didn’t know – so his body would not have made the journey home. So, on Friday we had to go and buy a cooler picnic box and ice packs to bring our baby home in. It was awful.
“We then began the long journey home. Leaving him in the car on the ferry was awful. The ferry seemed to be moving in slow motion.
“James’s body was not in a good way, and so because of this none of our family got to see him. His funeral was at 12pm that day and he is buried in the local graveyard.
I’ll never forgive our country for not allowing our family to see our baby. If he was born in Ireland, they could have met him.
“When someone dies you talk about what they looked like, their traits, etc. Only myself and my husband saw James, so only we can talk about him.
“For so long I was so worried about people finding out we went to England. I still am to an extent, but it wasn’t our fault.”
Eimear* also wanted to share her story but remain anonymous. She and her husband were trying to conceive for over a decade when she finally became pregnant via in vitro fertilisation (IVF) in late 2022.
“We thought all our prayers, hopes and dreams had been answered,” Eimear told us.
As she and her husband were “an older couple”, following advice from their doctor, they opted to have a Non-Invasive Prenatal Test (NIPT) – a blood test on the mother which determines if the foetus has any chromosomal abnormalities.
A couple of weeks later, the couple received the news that their baby had Down syndrome (also known as trisomy 21).
“Having a family member with the same condition, we knew the difficulties involved and how hard it can be on the child.”
Eimear said she and her husband were very worried their child could also have other health complications.
Certain health conditions, including heart problems, are more common in people with Down syndrome but many can live healthy lives, according to Down Syndrome Ireland.
“As older parents, who would look after them when we passed or would we out-live them?
“After what felt like an eternity, we made the heartbreaking decision to terminate our pregnancy. We had to choose to end the life of a baby who was 10 years in the making. I can’t describe the pain.”
Eimear said, after making their decision, “the extra, unnecessary trauma began”.
The NIPT is usually done when the mother is about 10 weeks pregnant but sometimes later, as was the case with Eimear. By the time she got the results, she had passed the 12-week limit in Ireland so needed to go abroad for a surgical termination.
“The stress was unbearable. This is the first time I’ve fully recalled the whole ordeal, and I can feel the stress coming on me,” Eimear told us.
She and her husband flew to England for a termination just before St Patrick’s Day in 2023.
“We had our consultation. I had the procedure the next day and flew home that evening on the last flight.
I’ve never felt so abandoned by my country in my life.
Eimear said the Irish State should look after women who find themselves in this position, not force them to go abroad.
“It’s heartbreaking enough to have to make that decision, the least the government can do is mind us when we are at our lowest ebb. It’s an absolute disgrace.”
Sinéad* also spoke to us about her experience. She had booked an abortion in Liverpool in August 2020 but, at the very last minute, didn’t have to travel.
Women typically have an anomaly scan when they are between 18 and 22 weeks pregnant. Sinéad had this scan in University Hospital Galway (UHG) at the upper limit, when she was 22 weeks pregnant.
Unfortunately, this scan showed it was likely the baby had a fatal foetal abnormality. Medics said her baby “most certainly” had thanatophoric dysplasia and would likely “die upon birth”, she said.
Thanatophoric dysplasia is a severe, life-threatening condition. It causes a very narrow chest and ribcage, meaning babies born with it have difficulty breathing on their own. Many infants with the condition die shortly after birth.
Further tests needed to be carried out to confirm the diagnosis. These samples had to be sent to Scotland (in healthcare, it’s common that certain samples are sent abroad if specific tests aren’t carried out in Ireland).
“The consultant, midwives and the counsellor made us aware very quickly that this was a tight timeframe to get [the test results] back before passing the threshold of 24 weeks,” Sinéad said.
We were told repeatedly that the baby wouldn’t live. However, we were not permitted to have the termination until the tests came back.
Sinéad said deciding to terminate her pregnancy was “a huge blow and very hard to compute mentally”.
“On top of that unavoidable bad fortune, the Irish rules ensured that we went through further hell.”
While awaiting test results to confirm the diagnosis, Sinéad started to make plans to travel to England.
“I was ringing the UK, booking hotels during Covid restrictions, explaining over and over again to the UK practitioners why they should take my case, how it was urgent.”
She eventually got an appointment in Liverpool.
“My partner and I booked and paid for flights, hotels and transport to have an abortion in Liverpool in August 2020.
“On the road to the airport in Dublin, we had to stop in UHG to check if they finally had the results of the tests.”
The results had, in fact, just arrived so Sinéad was able to have the procedure in Ireland. “Our story did not end with travelling, but by a very thin margin.”
Sinéad said the whole process was “really traumatic”, adding that she is one of many women who have experienced this.
*Name changed for privacy reasons
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Reporter: Órla Ryan • Editor: Maria Delaney • Main Image Design: Lorcan O’Reilly • Social Media: Cliodhna Travers
Exporting Abortion is a cross-border investigation coordinated by Público (Spain) in collaboration with journalists from more than ten countries:
Joana Ascensão (Portugal – Expresso), Kristina Bohmer (Slovakia), Magdalena Chrzczonowicz (Poland – OKO.press), Mayya Chernobylskaya (Germany), Nacho Calle (Spain – Público), Maria Delaney (Ireland – The Journal Investigates), Joanna Demarco (Malta), Armelle Desmaison (France), Emilia G. Morales (Spain – Público), Bru Noya (Andorra), Apolena Rychlíková (Czechia), Órla Ryan (Ireland – The Journal Investigates), Sergio Sangiao (Spain – Público), Margot Smolenaars (Netherlands).
This investigation was developed with the support of Journalismfund Europe.
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