Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
UP TO THE age of 18, the toughest decision of my life was when I was in transition year in school. I had to decide between playing a school camogie or basketball match as I loved both sports and they clashed.
I don’t even remember now which one I chose but the significance is that I had no major worries in the early years of my life. My childhood and upbringing was great, I had what I needed and achieved what I wanted.
First signs
During college, while studying PE teaching at UL, I experienced the first sign of a mental health difficulty, although I didn’t realise what it was at the time. Following the episodes, I called what I went through ‘indecisive phases’.
I would go from being fully confident and assertive to having days of being unsure of myself, constantly questioning everything and withdrawing from life resulting in doing nothing and staying in bed a lot of the day.
Thankfully I had very supportive friends and family and they encouraged me to get the help I needed. Initially, I thought going to a counsellor would just fix me but I now realise the process of recovery is long and requires significant and constant work but it is very attainable.
Bipolar disorder
After a troubled but successful 4 years at UL, I began teaching in the UK but after a few months with fluctuating moods I was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. I finished work there and came home where I could be in a safe and supportive environment.
In the years between now and then I’ve gone through a lot. I’ve worked a number of different jobs, travelled a bit, studied and been involved in sports and other activities. Although I haven’t always been able to reach my full potential, because of my illness, I’ve made the most of what I am able to do.
Every time I feel good for a while, I like to believe it will always be this way but inevitably my mood fluctuates significantly and I experience depression followed by elation or vice versa. I am good to take prescribed medication and go to necessary appointments including seeing a psychologist but I am by no means better.
It is about living well
Unlike physical illnesses, it’s hard to see whether someone with a mental health difficulty is better. For me it is about living well. Unfortunately I was not well during early October last year and I needed to get away. I just didn’t want to be in my world and I was so grateful for the option of going to St Pat’s, otherwise I’m not sure where I’d be today.
During my time in St Pat’s, my mood continued to fluctuate. However, my sleep did become more regulated, a big issue for me (and many people suffering from mental ill-health). The service there, although some things may be improved upon, is great and I’d consider it vital for many people not only in Dublin but all over Ireland.
It is a safe place with all the necessary facilities and amenities as well as a huge range of programmes and extra activities service users can avail of. There is a good structure to the day in place and going there gave me reason to get out of bed every morning.
Support groups
While studying a postgraduate diploma in UCC during 2014, I heard about Aware support groups for young adults that were taking place nearby. I attended these groups sporadically over a number of months and found them very useful. There were times I went when I was in great form and able to provide good feedback and support for my peers there.
On one occasion I remember I was so low that I reluctantly went but got upset easily and often during the meeting. I was very well supported and left the group feeling a little bit better and with a sense of achievement for having went and spoken.
At one of these group sessions I think I subconsciously decided I’d like to be a support group facilitator someday. Having a teaching background, I generally have good confidence speaking in front of people, I am organised and a good listener. Four years later, here I am, it’s been a journey but when I was in hospital at St Pat’s last year and heard the Aware lecture I seized the opportunity to speak to one of the Aware employees and get the ball rolling on becoming a volunteer.
Six months later, having competed the two weekends of training in Dublin and four observations of support groups I am a fully qualified facilitator and enjoying the experience and feel I am giving something back.
Optimistic
I am in good mental health at the moment thankfully and it’s allowing me to operate normally in all aspects of life and be fully functioning. I am aware that should my mental health decline any bit I may have to take a step back from aware for a few months or however long it takes for me to look after myself and recover. However I am optimistic that this won’t happen and that I will be able to be a facilitator for at least the next number of years.
My journey is far from over. At 30 years old, there’s a long way to go but just as I enjoy hearing about positive experiences, I want to share mine. I believe connectedness with one another is an integral part of world and indeed I believe it helps our mental health. All aspects of my life are going well at the moment including work, sport, health and friend and family relationships.
Long may it last. But in the meantime I will endeavour to look after myself both mentally and physically as best I can, as you should too.
Christina Broderick is 30 years old from Kinsale, Co Cork. She is a qualified PE and Chemistry teacher. Christina enjoys a wide variety of sports, socializing with friends and writing poetry.
The Aware Young Adult Support & Self Care Groups (18-25 yo) take place on a weekly basis and are free to attend.
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Great but it is only available to those with health insurance and most only cover 90days year. It is in Dublin miles from home if you live in the west there is no Private mental health hospital outside Dublin for the rest of Ireland. If you don’t have health insurance it is 5,500 per week. Whilst it’s a great facility it is so out of reach for lots of people.
@Sinead m: seriously???you can’t be admitted on your prsi payments or say you have a medical card….thats wrong on so many different levels. I spent a lot of years in UK … people criticise the NHS constantly but I always felt moving back to the ” ‘ol sod” was like moving to a 3rd world country as regards healthcare
I’m an alumni of St Pats and I’m delighted although extremely surprised that it resolved your problems Christina.
In my experience the interaction between patient and psychiatrist is limited to around ten minutes once a week.
If you’ve had a bad week medication is invariably increased.
I’m not surprised that you resolved your sleep issues either, as most patients are heavily medicated with benzos and sleeping tablets distributed liberally.
@Chauncey Gardiner: 10 minutes if your lucky.
@Ray Farrell: absolutely Ray!
if you have no insurance or money there’s no mental health services for you in this country. Many people show up to A & E’s around the country and are told you have to wait for the appropriate service to contact you, they might throw you a sleeping pill, however many of these poor people take their lives waiting for that non existence service. Only for the charities that run a service there would be many more dead by their own hand, and yet we have people in this country cheering on the like of simon harris and leo varadker both have the health office. In Clonmel on the 9th June there holding a protest as their no acute service at all in Tipperary and no service after the hours of 9 to 5.
@Charliegrl80: it’s disgraceful!
I’m happy it worked well for you, but it is an awful system. Suicidal and at risk I was referred to St Pats and they back and forth-ed my referral for almost 3 months with no warning notice or even a phone call that I ended up having to make myself over and over again. When they finally did say that I had an appointment it was over a month later still. When I finally saw someone in person I was belittled in a massive room with a rude doctor and my father waiting in the hall outside could hear every word. I was told my only option was to take two courses and sent on my way after only 15 minutes with a 300€ bill. A week later I got a phone call telling me that the first course lasted 5 days and cost 2000€. The second was 2 weeks and considerably more expensive.
Very good system indeed.
No disrespect for the author but St Pats doesn’t work for everyone, my father went in in June 2014 was assessed and was let out two days later as not being a risk to himself and he died by suicide a few weeks later. I will always think he was let down badly by the system and have no respect for St Pats as a result of this.
No disrespect to the author but his is yet another free (?) ad for SPMHS.
@Sean Ryan: seems to be a string of advitorials placed here from St. Patrick’s hospital. They seem to be fortnightly – i’d nearly bet money the next one will appear within that time frame. Fine if you have VHI, but the rest of the population without health insurance are relying on charities for their mental health solutions, so I can’t see why the journal are repeatidly plugging a private company ?????
@Lorraine Sherry: I know- it’s a bit odd. I’ve no major issue with SPMHS overall but at the end of they day they are a private company and are monetary driven (IMO).
Only available for people who can afford to pay . Mental health system in Ireland is blatantly two tier ..With predominantly as always, poor people falling through the huge holes in the system..
This is just an ad for St Pat’s …
I had an assessment for Vergemount 5 months ago. They sent in a trainee foreign doctor to take the initial notes, spent the first 15 minutes spelling my name and address and generally getting frustrated. This is no reflection on the Doctor. I just wanted to unload, I had so much I needed to get of my chest. When the actual doctor came came in she was curt and uninterested and simply put my suicidal thoughts etc down to stress. Never heard back, thank god for the Samaritans!!
As far as I’m aware, they take a certain number of cases gratis from the area. Something to do with Swift’s will.
@Josh Hanners: I’ve been in there an awful lot and met just one gratis patient. That person was only admitted because her psychiatrist was a student of a certain consultant. St Patrick’s do a great job and I wouldn’t be alive today without them…and health insurance.
I had the most harrowing experience in a public hospital, my Mum came and took me out. I have photos that would shock any human. I have also been in Pats, and there is no comparison between public and private. There were no activities during the day for patients in the public sector, the outdoor area was filthy – just a solid square for patients. I had bedbug bites after my couple of nights stay. Although the public system is completely flawed, I do agree that Pats medicate people up to the eyeballs, but at least your environment is safe and clean, which is so important for recovery. I will never forget last week, never, no matter how sick I am I will never put myself in the public psych ward that I was on, never.
Hi Christina loved your article and just a thought occurred to me did you ever hear of the 3 Principals as taught by Sydney Banks have a look on youtube the Sydney Banks lectures it was a revelation to me . Best regards John
Dean Swift Ward – Gullivers Travels
Pats is a glorified hotel. All they do is pump you full of medication and send you on your merry way!!!
An encouraging message
have your say