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My Story I have multiple sclerosis, but it doesn't define me
Multiple sclerosis progresses differently for every person and while some individuals suffer great difficulties, others have thriving work, romantic and social lives.
IN RECENT MONTHS, multiple sclerosis (MS) has been prominent in the news. I would like to begin by stating that I do not wish to take away from difficulties faced by Marie Fleming and the daily issues that plague Kate Tobin. I don’t want to associate this piece with the right to die debate; to me, that is a separate issue.
This article is anonymous – I do not want MS to be my label. I want to present a positive piece to change its perception. In addition to the recent portrayal of the condition in the media, MS and other disabilities can be seen onscreen as tragic, often with a wheelchair user seen as a helpless burden instead of a contributor to society; this is not an accurate account of life for most patients.
My first symptoms occurred in 2003. During my hospital stay, a team of doctors approached, drew the curtains with solemn, pitying faces. A nurse grasped my hand. The consultant gravely announced: “I’m very sorry, I’m afraid you have multiple sclerosis”. My first reactions were shock and devastation, the diagnosis was issued as if my life was over and I had no knowledge to the contrary. My first question was asked through tears, “Am I going to die?” Friends and family who arrived to console me were also distraught – none of us had any idea what was to happen or how this would affect me and my relationships in the future. That was my first experience of the negative perception of the condition and the catastrophic effect it can have on the newly diagnosed and their families. My subsequent neurological team and medical support have been second to none and are integral to my positive outlook.
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Over 11 years I have had relapses. The first year was difficult as symptoms appeared shortly before my final exams. I completed my degree one year later and from then I decided MS would not take over my life. I am not understating the symptoms of MS. I have a weakness in both legs and I stumble and sometimes fall. I drop things and am generally clumsy. I used to dread telling potential romantic partners or employers of my illness in case they decided against the risk of someone with the perceived tragic future of MS. I now tell friends and colleagues that I have MS to challenge these views. The reaction is initially surprise with a sympathetic head tilt, followed by a pitying “I didn’t know…” Most have questions – for those unaffected by the illness, knowledge of how it actually affects people generally comes from the media. The perception is not of working mums and dads driving kids to school; successful people with full time jobs with active work and social lives.
In the years since my initial symptoms I have come across other people who are newly diagnosed. They and their families are terrified, apprehensive and sure their lives are over. They believe the media portrayal of MS – people see only wheelchairs, pain and a bedridden existence in their future. I reassure them that I have a thriving work, romantic and social life. While I do experience relapses and symptoms I do not let MS restrict my life. MS does not always mean you can’t run a marathon – look at Annette Fredskov who ran 365 marathons in 365 days! I may not want to run a marathon (I never liked running!) but that doesn’t mean I can’t.
Secondly I tell them that each person diagnosed with MS has a completely different pathway. The prognosis for MS patients is getting better and better, with new treatments and research every year. Many will not experience the suffering that others have undergone and someone diagnosed now has access to improved medication, support and treatment that just wasn’t there, even 11 years ago when I was first diagnosed.
I wrote this piece to give a positive perspective of someone living with MS. I believe it is the responsibility of the media, medical professionals and those with the disease to change perceptions by speaking out about MS instead of being embarrassed by symptoms and afraid of people’s reactions. The stress associated with the perception of MS carries a risk of self-fulfilling prophecy; stress can have a negative influence in any walk of life. The conclusion of a review of MS portrayal on television series accurately summarises the responsibility that should be assumed when portraying any illness. “Sound knowledge of how symptoms, diagnosis, and therapeutic options are presented in mass media is therefore indispensable for all who deal with MS patients, relatives, and caregivers”. The importance of the balanced presentation of positive aspects of the disease is crucial to promote optimism of those with MS, particularly those newly diagnosed with a misunderstood disease.
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What codology & nonsense…..the daily ‘anti President Trump’ message yet the huge landside victory in Iowa last Monday— comments CLOSED. This media bias/ blackout on the future President’s election bid will go the same way as the failed witch-hunt against him.
@Jimmy Wallace: yep…A HUGE LANDSIDE VICTORY……they were able to ‘call’ the win in 28 minutes the Trump vote was so overwhelming. But I can understand/ appreciate how you wouldn’t have been aware / heard of it…… that new was ‘muffled- cancelled’ by Irish media. Nowdays I go to ‘sky news’ or ( heaven forbid) the UK news outlets- BBC, ITV, CHANNEL4 all headlined/ opened with the Iowa results on Mon
@Ken Mc Carthy: At it early this morning Ken.. Whats your obsession with Trump. It beggars belief that people are still standing up for this creep.. Politics aside, a dirty old man who basically wants to Fk his own daughter.
‘I’ve said that if Ivanka weren’t my daughter, perhaps I’d be dating her.’ ‘My daughter, Ivanka. She’s 6 feet tall, she’s got the best body.”Yeah, she’s really something, and what a beauty, that one. If I weren’t happily married and, ya know, her father…” Is it wrong to be more sexually attracted to your own daughter than your wife?’
Thats your guy .. Stay classy Ken..
@Ken Mc Carthy:And just to contextualise your purported ‘HUGE LANDSLIDE VICTORY’, in 2020 Trump won the Iowa caucuses with 97 % of the vote… now thats a landslide.. 2024 ? 51% .. huge landslide? Nah..keep trying to sell your snake oil for dirty old Don..
@Ken Mc Carthy: Trump won the Iowa caucus with 7% of the registered Republican vote.
The rest didn’t bother to turn up.
And the US democratic party have just won a special election – the equivalent of our bye election – taking back a seat in the state government from Republicans.
@William Slevin: Well…..its not just the journal….RTE are masters at it too…. IF a story is reported on at all it has to have that media outlets ‘bias / slant’ on it. It is sinister ……… I say it all the time nowdays—- beware where your news is coming from
I am certainly no fan of Trump whatsoever but the Biden administration provided Israel with massive amounts of funding and ordinance including 2000 pound bombs that were used to flatten entire neighbourhoods in Gaza. The one issue that Democrat and Republican parties agree on is unconditional support for Israel.
@Harry Whelks: The Irish also have a strong reputation of supporting smaller entities from threatening bullies. 6 million Jews surrounded by 1000 million Muslims threatening to holocaust them.
Thank you Bobby Mc Donagh for helping me by putting so eloquently how I feel about the world. We can’t turn away because to do that gives all the bad actors the opportunity to behave at will. We must use our voices no matter how small.
There has never been a better time to live on Planet earth
More people living above poverty line and with enough to eat than ever before. More people living in democratic countries (for all their flaws)
TV bombards us with negative stories, the internet especially social media isolates us into squabbling tribes.
Limit your TV & social media use, stay connected with your friends, connect with nature by walking with your phone left at home and be grateful for all you have staring with your health & living in one of the best countries on earth.
Finally, stop seeking perfection – it’s never going to happen. And stop seeking happiness; contentment is deeper & much longer lasting.
I was looking forward to a balanced and insightful critique of world events; causes from all angles and ramifications. We received a rather black and white lecture akin to talentless hacks screenwriting the last Star Wars film. Waste of data and time in its immaturity. Naive. Should have declared an interest from the start.
@Donna Fallon: On a serious note, in fairness the author makes a good point. I personally, have had to become desensitized and am extremely disillusioned. There is evidently a tipping point in that the human being can only tolerate so much both psychologically and physiologically.
Unfortunately, unless you disagree with this man’s point of view, you are labelled as someone peddling misinformation or reading articles from others posing as journalism. There can be no other point of view or debate, this man has to control the narrative, that is not democracy either. The narrative peddled by this man is only contributing to division & breakdown in society, most people see through Trump & Putin anyways, but also see through this guys agenda as well.
I take your point, but for self-preservation, I find it necessary to not follow your advice. If there were something I could do I would look, but all that I’m doing is causing myself pain. Thus the circle of pain and misery is expanding. I choose not to be under the power of those that are in a position to change things but don’t. I will not escalate division or climate change but I have to live my ‘each day’.
@Barry Malone: I remember my Dad entering a small shop in the Midlands long ago, and there were people in there trying to scrape a few pennies together to buy some food. Poverty was endemic, and it was common for children to be put to bed early with no supper.
These same people had been vociferous about how great Dev was for the country.
In a then recent speech, Dev had said that we’d be all right if only we’d speak Irish.
The people were starving, and we’d be all right if only we’d speak Irish.
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