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Surrealing in the Years RTÉ should utilise 'surprise Dolly Parton' strategy more often

Also this week: flood defence situation doesn’t exactly inspire confidence, does it?

IT HAS BEEN nearly a whole week since the painful deflation suffered by Ireland’s rugby fans and well-wishers at the hands of New Zealand. 

All of the hope that swelled around Ireland’s appearance at the Rugby World Cup this autumn has dissipated. We can finally reassume the much more comfortable posture of fatalistic doom that suits us so much better when it comes to team sports.

Ahead of us there are four long years for the pessimism to freeze, harden, thaw, and blossom into the inevitably erroneous belief that this year is our year come 2027. You can sing Zombie to yourself until then.

As if on cue, the weather has also chosen this moment to resume its punishment of us for being Irish. Storm Babet battered the south coast this week, with particular devastating effects on the town of Midleton, Cork.

Midleton has experienced significant flooding in November 2000, October 2004, June 2012, July 2013, January 2014, February 2014, October 2014 and January 2016. Storm Frank in 2015 did significant damage to the town, though even that was trumped by Storm Babet. The town doesn’t just suffer when the Owenacurra bursts its banks as it did this week. It also faces flooding due to tidal events, as well as groundwater flooding and pluvial events. 

All of this is to say that Midleton is a town which is almost as well known for flooding as it is for its whiskey production. As noted in on-the-ground reporting by The Journal, residents of the town had been worrying about the affects of the uptick in rain as soon as it was first forecasted by Met Éireann two weeks ago

“It’s very hard to know what to say,” said Leo Varadkar while visiting the town with Fine Gael TD Patrick O’Donovan. The oratory did not immediately inspire confidence, coming as it did amid footage of waist-high water, an evacuated hospital and business after business taking existentially-threatening flood damage

One video doing the rounds on social media shows those who own homes and businesses in Midleton raising the matter with Varadkar and O’Donovan in tones that could be described as admirably, and perhaps, superhumanly civil. Of the money set aside by the government to aid those affected, only €5,000 can be accessed via the first application. 

Still, what many in Midleton would rather see is preventative measures. Engineering firm Arup have been working on the Midleton Flood Relief Scheme since 2016. The project remains in Stage 1 – the stage that involves surveys and modelling – and is described by Arup as ‘nearing completion,’ which we can presumably take to mean that Midleton will keep flooding for as long as it keeps raining, until further notice. 

Watching Midleton, it’s hard not to be confronted by the suggestion that, as a country, we are not especially well-prepared for emergencies, not least because there doesn’t seem to be that many in place for things we can see coming from a mile away. Those watching from afar will likely be hoping that a more proactive tack is taken by the time the water is threatening to skirt around our ankles. 

By this point, you might be asking yourself if there is any good news to be found, anywhere on earth. Well reader, let me tell you, there is. And I’ve held my tongue on the matter more than long enough.

Dolly Parton was on Liveline this week. Dolly Parton was on Liveline.

Dolly Parton, the woman who wrote I Will Always Love You and Jolene in the same 24 hours, called in to the programme that people call because someone working at the post office was rude to them.

Dolly Parton on Liveline! Is this what we can expect from RTÉ’s post-secret payments era? Has the flip-flop budget been redirected towards cross-generationally beloved Tennesseean songbirds? 

If so, I say we should trust this Bakhurst guy for a little while longer, see how it all pans out. Now that they have Dolly Parton’s number on file, there’s really no limit to what the national broadcaster can achieve.

Maybe they can revive Celebrity Bainisteoir and put her in charge of a GAA team. Or maybe RTÉ could entice her by bringing back The Den? I’ve seen Dolly on The Muppet Show and let me tell you, she would thrive amongst Dustin and Zig and Zig and Socko and all those other grotesque little ragboys.

And let’s not even get started on the children’s literacy. Her charity, the Dollywood Foundation, has supplied over 100 million books to children around the world, including in Ireland. Those are the kind of numbers that our own most famous child literacy enthusiast Ryan Tubridy could only dream of.

Parton was actually calling in to promote her new book and speak about her connection to Sinéad O’Connor and her 1990 performance in Páidí Ó Sé’s pub in Kerry. Still, we can hope that RTÉ more fulsomely leans into this new surprise gambit. The public at large would be much more likely to listen in to Liveline if we didn’t know whether we’d be hearing from John Q Public or Don Henley telling Joe Duffy about how he’s locked himself out of his house while dressed in nothing but a towel. 

Yes, times are hard. And yet, there is hope to be had, as long as we can cling to the prospect of one day turning on RTÉ news to see Billy Joel, up to his waist in rainwater, reporting live from the next flooded Irish town.

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    Mute Dere
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    Feb 17th 2025, 12:12 AM

    The biggest purveyors of misinformation policing it….yay.

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    Mute Thomas Sheridan
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    Feb 17th 2025, 12:40 AM

    @Dere: The state just wants a monopoly on misinformation.
    Or at least one a selective release of information.

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    Mute Joe Willis
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:42 AM

    @Thomas Sheridan: if that was true it would be on the news

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    Mute Maire Hicks
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:21 AM

    Controlling what we see, hear and read because they say it’s false information, but they get to continue with their lies that’s dictatorship.

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:40 AM

    @Maire Hicks:
    I don’t want shady politicians,Irish or foreign, having any say over my freedom to express an opinion! A plague on all their houses,to hell with the lot of them!

    103
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    Mute Clyde Bear
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:51 AM

    @Maire Hicks: What utter twaddle!

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    Mute Maire Hicks
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    Feb 17th 2025, 3:18 AM

    @Clyde Bear: no not really, we are all entitled to our opinions whether we agree with each other or not and if I don’t agree with someone I would not call them out as a liar or accuse them of spreading misinformation, but yes there are cases of blatant lies especially governments, and it’s up to us to hear all sides and decipher the truth not to be told what the truth is.

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    Mute Paul C
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    Feb 17th 2025, 8:52 AM

    @Maire Hicks: you’ve hit the nail on the head. This isn’t about opinions, it’s about those who insist their opinion is fact even if it’s blatantly untrue. You’re entitled to your opinion but you’re not entitled to insist that opinion is fact.

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    Mute Maire Hicks
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    Feb 17th 2025, 9:32 AM

    @Paul C: it’s like that saying “I don’t agree with your opinion but I will defend your right to say it” (I think that’s it).

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:09 AM

    How does that work when the state itself along with state subsidised media is the biggest source of misinformation and disinformation, for example the blatant lies put out before last years referendums! Still O Gorman hasn’t been held accountable for his lies!

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    Mute Termaz FX
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    Feb 17th 2025, 12:32 PM

    @Jonn: care to provide proof?
    The only government lie I know of is “USC will be temporary”

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:58 PM

    @Termaz FX:
    I envy you, you must lead a very sheltered life!

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    Mute Mick O'K
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    Feb 17th 2025, 12:08 AM

    Proper order n’all

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    Mute Chop Chop
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    Feb 17th 2025, 12:27 AM

    Both the ISD and Global Witness are funded by George Soros’ Open Society Foundation. What is it with this guy and interfering in countries’ affairs?

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:19 AM

    @Chop Chop:
    For some reason The Journal is obsessed with promoting the irrelevant opinions of the shady sounding, Soros funded Institute for Strategic Dialogue! Why, it’s just another tentacle of the censorship industrial complex octopus? F@#k the ISD, to hell with them!

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    Mute Ulick
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:23 AM

    The State controls what information you receive. Communism anyone?

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    Mute Hayagriva
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    Feb 17th 2025, 9:13 AM

    @Ulick: Socialism is when the government does stuff, and if it does a lot of stuff, it’s communism!

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    Mute did you every wonder
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    Feb 17th 2025, 5:56 AM

    We will build 40k houses this year, is that not disinformation, but an election?. Who decides what is disinformation anyway?.

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    Mute Paul C
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    Feb 17th 2025, 8:55 AM

    @did you every wonder: disinformation is portraying a lie as fact. If the government said they built 40k houses last year that would be disinformation. Saying they will build 40k houses and not doing it is disingenuous.

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    Mute AnthonyK
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    Feb 17th 2025, 6:58 AM

    Yes, there was misinformation. Remember Darragh O’Brien and the gov saying they would build 40k houses. That was MISINFORMATION.

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    Mute Johnny Wilson
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:08 AM

    @AnthonyK: no it wasn’t, as commencements were 65k

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    Mute Furious George - The Wasp
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    Feb 17th 2025, 8:32 AM

    @Johnny Wilson: what’s the difference between a lie and misinformation. The CSO explicitly said the figure was incorrect

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    Mute Maire Hicks
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:38 PM

    @Johnny Wilson: 65k were started but how many were actually completed?

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    Mute FoxyBoiiYT
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:43 AM

    The far right and their useful id10ts hero want to import their American culture wars shyte here to Ireland. No thanks, we don’t need your lies. Flat earth, anti vax, anti immigrant, george soros obsessed, birthers etc… Ye got soundly trashed at the recent election, ye don’t speak for Irish people.

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:05 AM

    @FoxyBoiiYT:
    You stick to RTE, pal, they won’t steer you wrong, you’re in good hands!

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    Mute Ulick
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:24 AM

    @FoxyBoiiYT: Enjoy your Communist style censorship.

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    Mute John
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:54 AM

    @FoxyBoiiYT: what a sad individual you are

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    Mute Thomas Sheridan
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    Feb 17th 2025, 8:34 AM

    @Jonn: RTE, Dublin centric + bought and paid for by the state. There was a time we could trust them.

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    Mute Canon
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    Feb 17th 2025, 5:28 AM

    It is a matter of some concern that tech firms are lobbying the European commission to punish Ireland (and by extension therefore any other state) for enacting legislation to defend its democratic processes of election to political power at the local and national level thus completely eroding its principle of sovereignty. If Irish law cannot protect its citizens from misinformation, disinformation and the kind of algorithmic targeting used by Cambridge Analytica then what is the point of having the European Data Protection Commission at all?

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    Mute John
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:55 AM

    @Canon: what about the disinformation and misinformation being put out there by the government on a regular basis! Is that ok?

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    Mute KO
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    Feb 17th 2025, 6:06 AM

    So lies than, or false truths.
    Like when MM in front of many in the Dail, tv ,X youtube, etc, called MMcD a liar, and when repeatedly asked if said it and if so ,to withdraw it ..but he claimed didn’t say it?!

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    Mute Mike Dowling
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    Feb 17th 2025, 4:08 AM

    “Election Disinformation on Ice” – I don’t think it will be as popular a TV show as it’s dancing celebrity predecessor …

    28
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    Mute Garry Coll
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    Feb 17th 2025, 3:24 AM

    What has this year’s presidential election got to do with it.
    The role of the President of Ireland is purely ceremonial, he or she will sign what they’re told to sign.
    Why is this an issue?

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    Mute Joanne Stokes
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:06 AM

    It’s 1984!

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    Mute Daniel Skelton
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:52 AM

    Just stop using cesspools that openly allows misinformation, like Meta and Twitter. Simple.

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 1:59 AM

    @Daniel Skelton:
    Define misinformation!

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    Mute Daniel Skelton
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:48 AM

    @Jonn: X.

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    Mute Jonn
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    Feb 17th 2025, 6:09 AM

    @Daniel Skelton:
    That’s your answer? Brilliant! Go back to sleep!

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    Mute FoxyBoiiYT
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    Feb 17th 2025, 8:18 AM

    @Daniel Skelton: According to the right free speech means we should be forced to stay on Twitter with all the Nazis Elon has welcomed back with one raised arm.

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    Mute Fachtna BLAINE
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    Feb 17th 2025, 2:04 AM

    Selby is the most boring man on the planet, but he’s good

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    Mute Sickof thisshit
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    Feb 17th 2025, 9:49 AM

    We all know they will abuse and manipulate any such laws to silence opposition / critical views. Starmer-style.

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    Mute FoxyBoiiYT
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    Feb 17th 2025, 10:19 AM

    @Sickof thisshit: SS in the middle of your name, how subtle

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    Mute Sickof thisshit
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    Feb 17th 2025, 11:06 AM

    @FoxyBoiiYT: get back on yer meds..

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    Mute Patrick Newell
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    Feb 17th 2025, 9:07 AM

    The government being able to control what people see and hear round elections and someone decided to stop that……shocked I am ted just shocked

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    Mute CryptoWilf
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    Feb 17th 2025, 5:57 AM

    Hang on, is this the proposed hate speach law that’s been sidelined or is it a different one?

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    Mute Johnny Wilson
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    Feb 17th 2025, 7:07 AM

    @CryptoWilf: different

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    Mute William Jennings
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    Feb 17th 2025, 4:35 PM

    I’m not surprised that it is NGOs that were pushing the hardest to get this law passed. They are parasitic leeches that attempt to infuse as much left-wing authoritarianism into our politics as possible. What are are seeing is a Trojan Horse for collectivist ideologies that are trying to redefine what and when people can speak about online. No one has a fundamental monopoly on what is true, yet such a thing was nearly created with this proposed EU “misinformation” law. Why do NGOs push so hard for speech restrictions? They know their ideology cannot compete in the marketplace of ideas and collapses under scrutiny. They cannot win economic debates because free markets have lifted billions out of poverty. They cannot win social debates because their policies destroy communities.

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