Skip to content
Support Us

We need your help now

Support from readers like you keeps The Journal open.

You are visiting us because we have something you value. Independent, unbiased news that tells the truth. Advertising revenue goes some way to support our mission, but this year it has not been enough.

If you've seen value in our reporting, please contribute what you can, so we can continue to produce accurate and meaningful journalism. For everyone who needs it.

Shutterstock/d13

You can learn a lot about management from potty training your child

A good manager is clear on what’s expected, gives feedback, encourages, develops and rewards.

YOU’D BE SURPRISED by how much you can learn about good management from toilet training your child.

Over Christmas my wife and I decided that our two-year-old son was going to leave the nappy behind him. This, as you can imagine, is not what you dream of doing over your holidays, but it is a necessary piece of the parenting gig.

It took a bit of planning – when, where, how. A fair bit of Googling and reading “best ways to toilet train boys” and then a lot of watching, and waiting. And mopping.

But there was more to it than that. A lot of it revolved around communication and in fact mirrors what managers need to learn to do.

(It might be worth noting here that I’m not for one minute suggesting that people should be treated like two year olds, however, there are a number of common principles).

A good manager is clear on what’s expected, gives feedback (positive and/or constructive), encourages, develops and rewards.

shutterstock_240408835 Shutterstock / bilderpool Shutterstock / bilderpool / bilderpool

The American research-based management-consulting firm Gallup found that bad management costs US companies upwards of $500 billion annually. Too often people get promoted to management positions without the skills to do the job.

For example, great sales people get promoted to sales managers; superb accountants and lawyers get promoted to partner. But the skills to be a great ‘whatever’ are different to what’s needed to be a great manager.

It seems obvious that companies should only promote or hire managers who are able to manage and are good at telling their people how they’re doing – but they don’t. A good manager is clear on what’s expected, gives feedback (positive and/or constructive), encourages, develops and rewards. And if they don’t, their department or company may go down the toilet.

We knew we had to be absolutely clear on what was expected.

Do it in the potty. Not in your pants.

Speaking of the toilet, the first thing we needed to do was to decide our training methods. For example, was it going to be what the learning and development people refer to as a “blended learning approach” of perhaps “show and tell” combined with the obvious need of “learning by doing”. Or just straight up “learning by doing”.

“Chalk and talk” wasn’t going to fly here. We ourselves had a lot of on-the-job learning from some hiccups two years previously training our daughter. We knew we had to be absolutely clear on what was expected.

‘Do it in the potty. Not in your pants. If you need Mammy or Daddy, just ask’. However, in the workplace there is often a lack of clarity between boss and staffer around what “good” actually looks like and what the person is being measured on.

For a manager, and a staff member, to know what good looks like, good has to be defined. No more than a parent with their child, otherwise the iPad ends up drenched.

The next thing that’s needed is encouragement. No matter how bright the child is, the likelihood of them cottoning on immediately is low. We had to give feedback, ideally immediately after the fact. “Well done, that’s exactly how to do it”, “Good man, yourself”.

Or if needs be a bit of constructive criticism. “Maybe next time you’ll do it in the potty and not in your pants behind the couch”.

Unfortunately, effective feedback doesn’t always happen in companies. One reason could be that the manager doesn’t know how to give it. Or even worse, they just don’t notice.

shutterstock_263495984 Shutterstock / Pressmaster Shutterstock / Pressmaster / Pressmaster

Feedback should be given regularly, informally and formally, and dealing with specifics. Not just once a year at often contrived performance review meetings.

Micromanagement shows a lack of trust in a person, and disempowers them.

John Schnatter, the founder of Papa John’s pizza, said “what gets measured, gets done, what gets rewarded gets repeated”. Sigmund Freud advised that parents should praise and reward their children when toilet training. My wife and I have learned the hard way over the last few weeks that you can’t get complacent – keep encouraging and developing, and the odd reward.

Since the crash, it’s been difficult for organisations to give pay increases or bonuses to their staff, however, they need to get creative and make their people feel appreciated – whether that’s nights out, or supporting them through further education.

There is one crucial element that is different – micromanagement. We were micromanagers. Essentially, we had to watch our child like a hawk to make sure he didn’t piddle on the polished floor, or wherever he wanted to. We had to be control freaks. Watching staff like a hawk, wanting updates on everything, discouraging them to make decisions is hugely frustrating, demoralising and demotivating for them.

Unnecessary micromanagement shows a lack of trust in a person, and disempowers them.

In its simplest form, good management is ensuring people do what they’re paid for and supposed to do, and most importantly that they’re happy doing it. The Harvard Business Review said that great managers set expectations, motivate and develop.

You could read the same thing in Potty Training for Dummies.

Eoghan McDermott is a Director of The Communications Clinic and is Head of Training and Careers there. @EoghanMcDermott

Readers like you are keeping these stories free for everyone...
A mix of advertising and supporting contributions helps keep paywalls away from valuable information like this article. Over 5,000 readers like you have already stepped up and support us with a monthly payment or a once-off donation.

Close
15 Comments
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute John Ward
    Favourite John Ward
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 9:27 AM

    Is this article implying that managers think that their staff members are full of shit?

    60
    tom
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute tom
    Favourite tom
    Report
    Feb 9th 2016, 4:15 AM

    Shit managers from school of potty

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Stephen murphy
    Favourite Stephen murphy
    Report
    Feb 9th 2016, 7:39 PM

    It helps you, know an ***hole and know bulls***, when you hear it?

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute stephen
    Favourite stephen
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 8:57 AM

    I don’t have children !, ohh happy days. I’m outa here golf won’t play itself.

    57
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Richard Cynical
    Favourite Richard Cynical
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 9:35 AM

    Stephen as a parent and a golfer can I be the first to say I hate you

    53
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute family guy
    Favourite family guy
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 11:42 AM

    Encourages develops and rewards? I haven’t met any manager that is good at these three. Feedback yes as it’s usually negative. You never get positive feedback from managers as you might get a big head and look for a pay rise. You forgot egotistical as most of them are.

    18
    See 1 more reply ▾
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute stephen
    Favourite stephen
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 12:43 PM

    No problem Richard, having children must have some up sides, that’s question not a statement ?

    4
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Dave Murray
    Favourite Dave Murray
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 9:40 AM

    I have worked with adults who píss and shít sideways, don’t bother to clean up the mess and then don’t even bother to flush. Children at least try their best.

    49
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute postman pat
    Favourite postman pat
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 9:24 AM

    everyone who has children potty trains them some people will find any excuse to blow their own trumpet.

    40
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Fergal Doyle
    Favourite Fergal Doyle
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 10:12 AM

    Given its election build up… a head line. Both politicans and nappies should be changed often and usually for the same reason….

    14
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Jenny Barton
    Favourite Jenny Barton
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 5:21 PM

    Me and my husband potty trained our kid in one week with the Concisework potty training. Do we get to work for Microsoft now?

    6
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Phil West
    Favourite Phil West
    Report
    Feb 9th 2016, 5:01 PM

    Jenny,
    Not sure that Concisework potties are compatible with Microsoft.

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute Neal Ireland Hello
    Favourite Neal Ireland Hello
    Report
    Feb 8th 2016, 12:24 PM

    Making higher obesity rates a profit centre for governments. What could possibly go wrong?

    3
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute mohona23L
    Favourite mohona23L
    Report
    May 5th 2016, 2:58 AM

    How to Start Potty Training 1.One way to begin grooming your child for potty training is to allow her to observe what other family members do while in the bathroom. 2.Teach her the names for her body parts and names for what she has done in her diaper. Whether you use the term “pee,” “tinkle,” “poop,” or “doo-doo,” make sure that every person in the family calls it the same thing to avoid confusing the child. 3.Begin to excitedly talk about how she is getting so big she will not need diapers anymore. Allow her to pick out her new underwear at the store. 4.As your child begins to get more familiar with toileting, allow her to sit on her new potty seat while wearing her pants. She will need to be completely comfortable, so that the muscles can relax, allowing elimination. After a few days, see if the child is willing to sit on the toilet without a diaper. If she is resistant, tell her it is okay, and that she can try again some other time. Even if nothing happens on the potty, make a big deal about it. Give the child a small treat, like an M and M, simply for trying, and tell her that if she does pee on the potty, she will get two or three candies. 5.At some point, you will have to put your child in underwear during the majority of the day. This can be messy, but having some accidents is part of the process. Many parents use disposable training pants, however these feel little different to a toddler from a diaper and may prolong the process. Try using cotton underwear instead, which helps the child be more aware of what is occurring “down there.” 6.Take your child to the bathroom every thirty minutes the first day or two, until you figure out her “rhythm.” After a few days you will learn how often she needs to go and be able to take her on schedule. For the first few weeks, expect potty-training to be parent-led. More potty training brilliant tips here… pottytrainingapp

    1
    Install the app to use these features.
    Mute ranu
    Favourite ranu
    Report
    May 1st 2016, 12:47 AM

    Hello friends wanted to talk about my experience pottytraingapp
    Writing here to say I’m on my fourth day and my son Alisha has been almost 24 hours and use the bathroom on
    their own and without telling me when she has to go. I’ve tried tons of different methods and none of them seemed
    to work but I started using potty training app on Monday and by Friday my twins were BOTH completely Potty Trained!!!
    I am so great full for finding this method. You guys can all thank me later! Here your will get more unique solution
    pottytraingapp

    1
Submit a report
Please help us understand how this comment violates our community guidelines.
Thank you for the feedback
Your feedback has been sent to our team for review.
JournalTv
News in 60 seconds