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The 12 most annoying things people say to taxi drivers

TURN IT UP!

1. “Hey Mr. Taxi Driver”

This is the default greeting for every merry customer who hops into a cab.

It works best if it’s roared at regular intervals throughout the journey.

Shutterstock.com

2. How do you pronounce that?

This is usually reserved for drivers who are immigrants to our fair shores and often follows a squinty look at the name tag on the dashboard.

It is typically bookended with a “do you like it here” and “where are you from?”

Despite having just learned their host’s name, many will then revert to the default “MR TAXI DRIVER”.

Photocall Ireland

3. “Busy this evening?

This can be alternated with:

Are you on for the night?
Just started?

Flickr/Ian Murphy

4. “Can we just stop here for 5 minutes?”

No problem, as long as you realise I’m going to keep the meter running.

5. “We’re just going to swing by here and pick someone up”

Cue 3 extra people trying to squeeze into a full capacity taxi, after a 17 minute wait of course.

Shutterstock.com

6. “I LOVE THIS SONG, TURN IT UP”

7. “I’m not going to get sick, I swear”

This is a red herring. They’re definitely going to get sick.

8. “I’m not eating anything, I swear”

Chomp, chomp, chomp.

Flickr/stevendamron

9. “Will you change that shite?”

How dare they not appreciate your Dire Straits ‘Brothers in Arms’ cassette/Bill Cullen ‘Penny Apples’ audiobook/Adrian Kennedy Phone Show.

via Etsy

10. “Have you change of a fifty?”

No. And I’m not trying to swizz you. I genuinely don’t have change.

Flickr/GunnarWrobel

11. “Can we stop at an ATM”

After stopping at the ATM they will definitely produce a fifty.

12. “Zzzzzzzz”

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132 Comments
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    Mute Rob Cahill
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:32 PM

    The second picture is a very rare copy. It’s the only issue ever that didn’t have Amy Huberman on the cover.

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    Mute jenni
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    Apr 11th 2017, 9:19 PM

    @Rob Cahill: who cares..it’s an awful magazine. It doesn’t represent average Irish women nowadays..just represents the ones that made their faces onto TV. Most women I know are magnificent people, and don’t need to be in the ‘party’ or ‘cocktail ‘ or ‘bride’ section to be recognised by their peers. But sure at the end of the day ” whatever you’re into”. And an average sales of 25,000 ( laughable) in a country our size is miniscule..

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    Mute The Unknown Souldier
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:30 PM

    Ah magazines, i remember them.

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    Mute Tweety McTweeter
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    Apr 11th 2017, 6:19 PM

    Look at Gramps over here reminiscing about the distant past

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    Mute Scundered
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:25 PM

    Am amazed people actually buy that brain-rot.

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    Mute Paddy Ryan
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:42 PM

    @Scundered: Sure a dentists waiting room wouldn’t be the same without magazines 5 years out of date..

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    Mute Scundered
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    Apr 11th 2017, 7:18 PM

    @Paddy Ryan: Brain rot to ease the tooth rot :)

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    Mute James O'Brien
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:54 PM

    One POS buys another. Oh well.

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    Mute john g mcgrath
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:18 PM

    See what shite z list so called celebs are up to!!!

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    Mute Warmfartrises
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    Apr 11th 2017, 9:48 PM

    Love the pull out section with pictures of nobodys masquerading as Z list celebs at a red carpet event for the grand opening of an envelope. Sheila who? Seamus what?

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    Mute Mike Holmes
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:19 PM

    Thankfully they didnt get their hands on the only official paper in the state the Iris Ofiguil.

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    Mute Christy Nolan
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    Apr 11th 2017, 5:57 PM

    @Mike Holmes:
    The got their backsides on it alright.

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    Mute Niall Power
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    Apr 11th 2017, 9:40 PM

    My budgies are worried,
    Will they have a fresh Z list bitch to crap on next month?

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