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Danny Dyer, who's currently in the docu-series The Dyers' Caravan Park on Sky One. Ellis O'Brien/Sky
show quizness

Quiz: Which of these are real Danny Dyer quotes?

Think you know the geezer well? Put your skills to the test.
12.36pm, 4 Mar 2026
36

ACTOR DANNY DYER is a great geezer for a one-liner. His Twitter account used to be a goldmine for saucy quotes as he hit back at critics, but he’s also a good man for a funny line or 10 in an interview.

But can you tell a Danny Dyer quote from a completely made up one?

Dyer is currently starring in The Dyers’ Caravan Park alongside his daughter Dani, which is available to view on Sky One on Tuesdays, and on NOW.

Take a look at these quotes and tell us: did Danny Dyer say this?

"Should a man pushing 50 be on TikTok? ‘No’ is the answer to that."
Yes
No
"All I did was grow a moustache and put a f***king wig on. But now I'm the best actor Britain has ever produced."
Yes
No
"People think I don't take acting seriously but you know what - I fear it, mate. And fear keeps me motivated."
Yes
No
"If aliens exist, they're not coming to f***king England. They're welcome at my house though. Respect to them."
Yes
No
"You have the looks wit and charm of a slightly comatosed tramp."
Yes
No
"You have all the charisma of a dead badger."
Yes
No
"Why'd I call my daughter Dani? We don't have enough Danny Dyers in the world, mate."
Yes
No
"I hope you’ve learned a lesson. Don’t give it if you can’t take it. Melt."
Yes
No
"Henry VIII had it down right - tired of your missus? Chop her 'ead off."
Yes
No
"You look like an earthworm who's whacked a hoodie on."
Yes
No
"Vote Tory? There's more chance of me giving up acting to become a cheesemonger."
Yes
No
"Can't believe it's been nearly 11 years since them slags smashed into the twin towers. It still freaks my nut out to this day"
Yes
No
Answer all the questions to see your result!
You scored out of !
Proper geezer
You almost know Danny Dyer better than he knows himself.
Share your result:
You scored out of !
Sound geezer
You almost have him down - but not quite.
Share your result:
You scored out of !
Dodgy geezer
Sorry mate, but you don't know Danny D at all.
Share your result:

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