My husband and I had 6 horrible ‘early’ miscarriages in a row, every one counted to us. We had 2 children within 14 months after those terrible miscarriages; as a result I consider myself to be a mother of 8 not a mother of 2. I am also a 9 year esophageal cancer survivor but to me those miscarriages were far worse.

I can understand and empathise completely with anyone who has suffered a miscarriage, my first pregnancy ended in miscarriage and a year later had a beautiful baby boy. Sadly, seven more pregnancies ended in miscarriage, it is soul destroying and I did feel a failure. My doctor advised either my husband have a vasectomy or I have my tubes tied as he said that my chances of carrying to full term again stood at 10%, he recommended we take a few months out to think about it. In the meantime I fell pregnant again and prepared myself for the inevitable, yep at just gone 12 weeks it began, hospital, scan and was told to go home and come back in a week for a d&c if necessary. One week on, scan again and low and behold there he was hand up as if waving at me. Two boys ten years apart. As my mam used to say, “you got all those beautiful babies rolled into two” maybe she was right.

I am truly sorry for the loss of your little babies. Hugs to you, you husband and your other children x

it’s bad enough with a missed miscarriage. never mind the medical side of the d and c. u have been through hell and back. And it’s true no one can understand till they have gone through something like this. feeling u have no one to talk to either because no one thinks it should be talked about. Then the you can just have another attitude. not always so easy for everyone and how scarey it will be. hugs and candles burning for the life’s that weren’t in this world.

I remember someone saying to me,I’m grieving for the life that was to be had! I had an ectopic April 2013, I would class that as the 2nd worse experience of my life, everyone forgot, I was grieving the hope of life. rip angel Jane.

I also had a missed miscarriage in Dec 2012. I was sent to the Early Pregnancy Unit where they confirmed that the baby never developed. I had to have a D&C on the 21st Dec. Those few days waiting were torture. I just wanted “it” out of me. Then once I had the D&C I was terribly depressed. I cried all the time, I couldn’t look at another baby & every time I saw someone with a pram I was really bitter & jealous, why did they get to have their baby & I didn’t? No one spoke about it. Anyone that did just said “oh, I hear it’s very common.” As if I should just get over it. My husband didn’t know what to do or say. He agreed to try for another just to cheer me up, even though I’m pretty sure he wasn’t ready to try again. Then every month when I realised I wasn’t pregnant I would stay in bed & cry for days. I thought I was a failure for not being able to conceive. Eventually I realised I had to stop torturing myself. So we didn’t start trying again until Christmas 2014 & now I’m 39 weeks pregnant! I was terrified of miscarrying again. I only relaxed when I started to feel it moving inside me. I’m still terrified of something happening the baby though. No one understands unless they’ve lost a baby themselves. Just because it never developed doesn’t mean that it didn’t count or that I wasn’t it’s mammy. I still wonder what it would look like now had it been born. I’ll never forget but I’ve learnt to deal with it & have moved on. I’m really excited to be having my baby next week!

We had another article here a few weeks back saying the opposite was true for them. They didn’t want anyone at all asking in the first place, nor commiserating.

It is difficult for people, bystanders, to know what to say or do. Then there’s also grandparents, who very often, feel it as bad as the parents themselves especially if it’s due to be their first and they’ve been waiting for many years to be grandparents.

I went through an ectopic pregnancy and early miscarriage, both in 2012. I cried so much after the ectopic but was completely defeated by the early miscarriage meaning I felt like it was something I did wrong. No matter what people said I still blame myself in some ways. It never goes away.

My mother in law miscarried her 3rd baby 50 years ago, she still talks of the little one and believes it was a boy. She went on to have two more girls and a son, he always swore as soon as he could talk that he had an older brother.

I’m thankful to have never suffered that pain, but with my first I nearly lost her 3 times.

Thank you ladies for sharing ❤️

I’m so sorry for everyone here for their loss. No one should have to suffer the loss of a child.

I am so sorry that you went through this. Me too & it’s a horrible experience, especially when it’s repeated several times. Thankfully I now have an amazing baby girl to help me forget all the heartbreak and pain that we went through before her.
It’s so important that you shared this to help all the other women going are through this right now or who have already been through this to not feel so alone. And to not feel like they’ve somehow failed something. x

Thanks for writing this article. I’ve had 5 miscarriages myself and am lucky to be blessed with two beautiful children. I really do wish miscarriage wasn’t such a taboo subject and I too just wanted people to even acknowledge it, though I do understand sometimes they feel awkward around you. For me I found it tough when I’d be out shopping or something and it seemed like every second woman was pregnant and whenever a friend announced her pregnancy, though I’d genuinely be happy for them, I’d definitely take a step back and find it hard to be around them for a bit, as when they’d be giving out about nausea or tiredness Id get so annoyed. I never relaxed through either of my pregnancies, and when I’d go for a scan I wouldn’t even look at the screen until my doctor told me the heartbeat was fine, and it was only when my babies were delivered that I felt I could breathe again.

The worst word ever, unviable. Although it’s been 5 yrs that word sticks in my heart. I was told my pregnancy was unviable and that I was miscarrying. I had months of blood test and checks. We tried again and had a second miscarriage 6mths later. My life has never been the same. Although I now have a beautiful,crazy wonderful little 3 1/2yr old. I still remember my babies and even cry for them every now and then. I think what age they’d be now, what life would be like? Miscarriage and loss robs you of the excitement and innocence in pregnancy. I was terrified everyday of my pregnancy, unsure till I had my baby in my arms. She’s nearly 4 now and one of the biggest reasons we’ve not tried again is I’m truly terrified to go through another loss or spend months fearfully waiting.

Terrible for people to go through, I can only imagine the pain of these families, god be with all of you.the very sick people giving these people red thumbs is sickening, what in the name of God is wrong with yiz.

Nature can be quite cruel to our bodies. Thank you to the author and the commenters for sharing your stories.

I had 2 miscarriages and the third time I was pregnant, my symptoms stopped at about 8 weeks so I booked a private scan. The nurse just said ‘I can’t see anything’ so I went to hospital and after two scans a week apart I was told it was a missed miscarriage. I was given two rounds of tablets which didn’t work so then I had a d&c. After a few months they called us back in and told us that it was a baby girl and she had something called tetraploidy which caused the miscarriage. It was a horrible time and it’s so hard having nothing to remember her by. I have a beautiful baby girl now but I still think of the other babies a lot and wish I could talk about them or commemorate them in some way without others thinking it was strange. People tend to shut down when you tell them you had a miscarriage.

You are all inspirational Ladies….your experiences are heartbreaking to read ..can’t imagine your reality…..hats off to you all….your coping ability is awesome and powerful….as I’m sure the pain never goes away…..one lives in parallel with the pain. Huge respect x

I can resonate entirely with what you’ve said I’ve had 2 missed miscarriages and an ectopic…..they were very difficult angry sad times and I felt it wasn’t understood by most people. I think the “taboo” or “shame” around it can be very isolating and destructive……Well done for sharing your story

You are very brave to share your story and it will help others, sorry for your very real loss and hope in time you will be a able to accept it, it miscarriages are Never the woman’s fault never ever.

After getting married in 2001, I and James my (husband) began trying to conceive. “When we first started trying, I was obsessive and bought many pregnancy tests even if I knew my period was coming. “We probably spent hundreds of dollars on tests. We viewed making love as work, and it took the pleasure and enjoyment out of it.” Eventually we went to a specialist and discovered that James had a low sperm count, so we faced the possibility that we may never have children. “I was at the point that I didn’t even want to get out of bed some days. I was so depressed. The Positive: I had a moment of clarity. “I just kept telling myself that when the time was right we would get pregnant. It’s hard, I later order for Priest Eka herbal medication meant for pregnant women to cook as soup and be eating it and much to us was surprise; I got pregnant a few months after getting used of the medication. When you are trying, just ordered for priest Eka herbal medication. Daughter Natalie was born in September 2003. We recently received another surprise: twins due in August, conceived without we even trying. Contact priest Eka on(dreka14demons@gmail.com)..