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IT IS AMAZING how a marvel becomes the norm and how a norm becomes your daughter crawling over to the DVD collections and mangling 13 Going on 30?
Caitlin, who is fast approaching 10 months old, went from an army crawl to a fully functioning whirr of hands and legs. She now follows us from room to room, makes dashes for open doors, climbs into fireplaces and will bang on the toilet door if we are ensconced inside. I have taken to leaving the door slightly ajar, resulting in it being yanked wide open. Delighted, smiling face meets vulnerable adult.
She stood up for the first time about five weeks ago, during bath-time. As the sole person over nine months old in the house, I was on bath supervision duty. I had also decided to read a chapter of Joking Aside (the Donncha O’Callaghan autobiography) as Caitlin busied herself with her three duck buddies.
I must have got far too engrossed with a Heineken Cup adventure because the next thing I heard was a couple of high-pitched hollers. I looked up to see Caitlin standing with mouth agape. She was as shocked as I by the feat. I told my wife, Cat, the good (amazing daughter) and bad (irresponsible, book-reading husband) news that evening. Caitlin was asleep, so she dealt with the bad news first.
Back in May, we had a ropey ‘Baba’ to celebrate. That word has been joined by ‘Dada’ and ‘Mama’ or ‘Mummmmm’ when she really wants something. First thing in the morning –we are still getting good stretches during the night – she will appeal to her Dad, then Mum (or reverse order) to release her from her cot.
Up until now parenting has mainly consisted of keeping her alive (fed & watered) but as her personality has taken shape and her ability to assert herself has bloomed, we have had to teach her right from wrong. Our coping skills have improved since we lost the first Battle of Sallins Bridge. I had a rare Saturday evening off and we settled in to watch a film and enjoy a home-cooked dinner. Caitlin had other ideas and there was no settling her. It was the first time she had literally called the shots. We surely made trouble for ourselves by trying to reason with her each time (or sing a song or read a page from a fairytale book).
Three hours after the first vocal salvo and 50 trips up the stairs we had little appetite for awful Josh Brolin films [Gangster Squad – what a waste of talent]. Now, we are a lot more Super Nanny. If she is up, one of us will go up and place her back down with “It’s bed-time.” The stand-offs have become less protracted, less Al Pacino in Dog Day Afternoon.
Considering that there are only three of us, and one of us has a small social circle, keeping track of our movements was proving to be very difficult. Once Cat went back to work and a full-time childminder out of spending reach our lives dramatically changed. We often resorted to our ‘Before Children’ ways of saying yes to commitments, only to find we’d over-stretched and have to rearrange or postpone.
Cat, the researcher and reader, found an smartphone app, Cozi, and it has made life a lot simpler. Now, when we both know our shifts and how the days of the week will fall, we sort the child-minding days, ask the occasional grandparent for a babysitting favour and the app does the rest. It also saves myself and Cat from actually having to speak to each other. This is not the Ordinary World Duran Duran sang of.
Caitlin, too, has an independent life of her own and is fast developing her personality and character. We found it tough, at the start, to leave her with a childminder two or three days a week, and snatch an hour or two with her in the morning and evenings. You have to let go a little but, we’ve found, it has been great for her. She has come on leaps and bounds and revels in the sports-mad company of our childminder’s own children.
This may very well be my last Diary of a First Time Dad post as I move on to new writing pastures but there is good news to sign off with. Myself and Cat are also expecting the arrival of our second child in mid-December.
We will soon join the ranks of parents that say ‘Wait until you’ve had two’ to glee-eyed first-timers.
@patmccarry is a sportswriter and playwright of shows that have appeared at Vicar Street, Electric Picnic, Bulmers Comedy Festival and New Zealand Comedy Festival. He is a Dubliner, living in Kildare. Happily married for 23 months and counting.
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On a recent trip from Heuston Stn in a packed Luas, a drunken man jammed next to me, began a loud abusive tirade against all. As the spat and the spittle developed, his face was far too close, I challenged him to be quiet- or similar words, he became physically agressive. I was pleasantly surprised when a young woman stood up and identified herself as a Garda and took the aggressor and handcuffed him off at the next stop. Thanks to the Garda that day.
Genuine question – i know it says both but why use undercover? I thought the best way to prevent crime is just have a strong overt presence on all corners. Unless maybe they’re looking to track down certain groups?
@Johnny Mads: I understand visible guards would make the community/people aware and feel protected however having undercover guards is also great to catch these nasty people when they think they aren’t being watched by the guards.
@Johnny Mads: good question considering there are cameras continuing recording each coach.
There is already visible private security. You can see them before they get on board.
In that line most of the attacks are against the same anyone whose English is second language from tourists to underage students to workers.
An undercover Gardaí should be able to caught them easily ….the problem is the Garda own bias, Garda tends to do nothing to protect anyone whose first language isn’t English … Ireland is the only country in the EU without multilingual operators in the emergency line, and emergency phone operators that cut a call because they can’t understand someone in distress with an accent of ESL … third word and in a country where their wealth comes from the multilingual services teams operating here and studying of English
@Johnny Mads: I agree, visible is better. Covert might give us a false sense of security and think Gardai are around when in fact there are none.
@Maria Quinn: Wow that is the biggest load of rubbish I have ever heard. Almost everything you have said is wrong
@Ciarán: I do personally like that approach, but my worry is that these people dont actually get any real punishment which would make the undercover a waste of time. I think a heavy uniformed presence is best but either way lets hope they do their job !
@Maria Quinn: what’s your first language ??
@Johnny Mads: undercover means they will not be there at all..you are 100% correct…why be undercover at all… visibility is the key to stopping this.
@Maria Quinn:. First off, that’s not true about the emergency call takers. France requires a long wait to obtain an English speaker.
Second, Ireland is the only country that allows non nationals to join the national police force without being able to speak the national language.
@Maria Quinn: Please provide evidence to back up your statement regarding the Garda giving preference to English speaking people.
@Phil Redmond: from personal experience(s)i beg to differ and agree with her!
Undercover or visible.. either way still good to have.
@Ciarán: I understand visible guards would make the community/people aware and feel protected however having undercover guards is also great to catch these nasty people when they think they aren’t being watched by the guards.
@Ciarán: They are underage so even if caught, they’d be let back out straight away
@Mickety Dee: they should be or parents fined.
Let the parents take responsibility.
@Mike Heelan: unfortunately they’re probably just as bad
I live in a Seaside town and Anti Social behavior especially at weekends is out of control. The Dart is dodgy at any time after Connolly and all the stations are unmanned .
As usual there is no proper deterrent as they are mostly juveniles so this allows them to do what they want.
In Ireland advance planning for anything is only done when things get really bad and if you are expecting a response that works long term don’t hold your breadth.
I’m not advocating birching but a ‘Sin’ bin should be provided so any juvenile with 3 strikes get a week if boot camp. Then progressively more. This should be automatic and they should not have a criminal record to help the idiots cop on.
Where are the parents in all this …probably absent and useless. !
Action not words is required.
@paul burke: last time I got the Dart it was delayed by 30 mins because of anti-social behaviour at Blackrock.
@paul burke: not sure given the gravity of the crimes reported that one should be given 3 strikes before a weekend at boot camp which to be fair could even be seen as fun before any long term consequences. They aren’t robbing penny sweets their actions will have long term consequences for the victims of their senseless crimes.
@Sarah Lou: They were releassed without charge because the file was sent to the DPP ( department of public prosecution ) They will go trough it all in detail and decide who to charge with what crimes as and how many charges they shouldn’t be charged with etc. it could take 8-12 months for it to come back from the dpp due to backlogs . but they will get back to them and they either say there not going ahead with charges ( in some cases ) so theyll be charged I’d say but not for 6 months +
@dubirishHerbguy: just a small correction. It’s the DIRECTOR of public prosecution
These kids have no respect for the Gardai. Whether undercover or visible.
It’s the justice system and juvenile leniency that’s letting everyone down. Especially the Gardai.
Change is needed on that or nothing else matters
Undercover cops arresting teenagers who will then be released without charge. Justice, Irish style!
Getting like the film The Warriors
@Michael Dikie :
Warriors come out and play….Always thought that lad looked like Bono!
If I see anything like that I’d launch in and batter the bejasysis out of them. They’ll pick on the wrong person one day. Flurry of spinning backfists, hook kicks, the lot.
Released without charge…….why?
@Richard Casey: The fact that the video was all over the net will make a conviction much harder.
@Richard Casey: they are juveniles so a file needs to be sent to both the dpp and the jlo before they can be charged.
That’s the system in Ireland since 1922
@Richard Casey: files sent to the DPP and garda have to gather evidence.
It’s time we had a dedicated transport police like they have in London. The public travel network in Dublin is big enough nowadays to warrant it. Its not just issues on stretches of the DART but there are areas of south and west Dublin that Bus drivers regularly refuse to enter and plenty of problems on the Luas, especially the red line.
@Ger: God I hate the red line. I hate my kids using it too
@Ger: Yes but who would pay for it? Transport police in UK are funded by transport companies and receive no central government funding. See attached:
@Trevor Fallon: currently both the DART and Luas use private security and pay for them. Clearly its not enough. So replacing them with a transport police with actual powers if arrest would be better. Who cares how its paid for,. Its needed.
@Dearbhla O Reilly: yeah I hate using it myself, I’ve seen lots of stuff on it over the years.
The victim is a teen and underage as well as the rest of the girls on the platform.
Gardaí would be useless with the male approach of consent improper conduct of males against females, and show the male aggressors as poor little things and their underage female victims as grown up adult that should know better.
So going on the inaction way, no safe for females passengers, neither tourists as usual or anyone talking in other language than English …. because of the security consent by inaction for years
@Maria Quinn: More gibberish. Give it a rest would ya
@Maria Quinn: you seem to have an obsession with English speaking people ,. Why don’t you learn it yourself
@Maria Quinn:
Ridiculous attempt to turn an antisocial and criminal issue into a gender based issue. Yes! The victim in this case was a young female but all of society is affected by this problem.
@Maria Quinn: Jesus wept.
Gender, nationality, next?????
@Maria Quinn: totally incorrect. You are full of it.
What’s the point when the judges let them off??waste of time prosecuting people with the current judges
“I am highly critical of the gardaí but I still want more of them”
Seems to be the general attitude in Ireland
The mother of one of the 3 boys involved is suing the company because they apparently leaked the CCTV and in doing so broke her son’s right to privacy no joke!
@Frédéric Slimane: correct. Meaning cctv only benefits those caught in it. Does nothing to assist the prosecution
Typical weekend in Dublin
They are going down
@Jonathan: …to the dart station again to carry on regardless as there’s no deterrent! Little scrotes that have been dragged up!
Best news today, deal with the skrotes and their feckless parents
Pity it took a serious incident for this to happen, was badly needed for a long time.
Some outstanding pillars of the community travelling on public transport all through this lockdown. Essential travel only was the rule. But they use the opportunity to do their business runs, (nudge nudge wink wink). So undercover presence from gardi is great idea. Take down these individuals.
Why not a separate transport police which I’ve seen work in other countries like Australia, Dubai and Singapore. They have powers of arrest in Australia but are not directly a police force.
@Anne Busher Collins: that badges no sense. You called them police with arrest pets and then say they arent police
Looking forward to all the lefties coming out defending these hooligans. when these lads/girls are arrested, they will play the victim card saying the government failed them, they have HDHD. they have mental health issues blah blah.
@Alan Richard Scott Jr.: lefties?it has nothing to do with politics i am what you would call a “lefty”and i think these people should feel the full force of the justice system.
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