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Garry Williams is a 33-year-old unemployed man from London who has been dealing with depression for over four years. In this open letter he declares war on his illness.
DEAR DEPRESSION,
I wanted to write a letter to you in the hope we can come to some sort of agreement as to where we both go from here. I have written to you many times before in days of despair and days of hope – today is one of my good days when I can find the strength from within to speak to you forcefully, concisely, from the head and from the heart. If need be, I can also speak to you aggressively just to enforce my point, but seeing as we are now old friends I shall try to remain diplomatic at all times.
Let me start by complimenting you on the wonderful public relations team you have working for you. How you manage to cause so much pain and heartache to so many people and not get a negative reaction in the press is a testament to the work they do on your behalf. How you get away with creating a stigma against those of us who suffer is nothing short of remarkable. When we are on better terms, perhaps you can tell me how they do it.
Exactly how is it that you manage to turn the tables on people so that they are seen as weak, hopeless, worthless and even on the verge of taking their lives because you wont let them breathe? How come you’re still not seen as the major illness you are when so many people suffer because of you?
Despite all of this people still do not talk about you; there is a fear. Almost reminiscent of the film Candyman where people are afraid to mention you in case you appear in their lives. When I am ready your team can work for me and help promote my blog and then we will see how you cope with the tables being turned on you for a change, how the changing of the guard, in terms of how people see you and react to you when the truth comes out, makes you feel.
I saw first hand how you destroy someone with no regard, no remorse just a relentless charge through someone’s persona. Watching someone so vibrant, loving, outgoing and confident become a shadow of that person that I loved. To make someone change in such a way and worse of all, to do it over a long period of time so that they are not aware of it. This is not the actions of something that is perceived so lightly by others, especially those who have never been “blessed” with your touch. Like a cold hand on a warm day your touch comes as a shock at first and yet you embrace those unable to fight you off like a familiar face, suppressing the evil laughter that no doubt exists as you claim a new follower.
You came to me over a two to three year time span. I knew you were there but I was not ready to acknowledge your existence. Unaware of the strength I needed to halt you on the path of destruction that was intended for my life, I allowed you to control me and my feelings until that day when you almost beat me. I use the word ALMOST because you had the chance to do exactly that and beat me. Big mistake, mister, because when you had me on the canvas you did not go in for the kill. You allowed me to take the eight-count and instead of finishing me off you chose to dance around the ring, toying with me.
The truth of the matter is that I was a beaten man, but I did not want you to claim me as another victim. From within I found hidden strength, through the love of my wife and children, to rise up and fight back. I am lucky in that sense but others are not as fortunate as me, more susceptible to your uncanny knack of pinpointing someone’s weakness and going straight for it.
The good news for me (and bad for you) is that our time together has not always been so advantageous in your favour. Without you I would not be writing, something I had a passion for as a young boy in school. You stirred my creative juices and made my mind awash with ways in which I can defeat you. You helped me! I guess it is fair to say that it was not your intention but unlike you toying around with me when I was down I have taken my opportunity and I am ready for you. I am ready to help others defeat you and most of all I am ready to show others how the weakness comes from you not themselves.
I am starting a revolution and will unite all ‘Depressionistas’ from all walks of life in my battle. Are you ready for us this time my friend? We may be weak as single entities, but as a force we are strong, and we will not be defeated even if it takes us a lifetime. Your days of chaining us to shackles will soon be over.
Try putting a positive spin on that!
Love,
Garry
Garry has been unemployed for over 2 years and dealing with depression for around four years. He was only officially diagnosed in March this year. Speaking to TheJournal.ie he said:
The aim of my blog is to help other people realise that A) They have depression and B) that it is not a sign of weakness, especially for a man to admit that they need help. It took me years to seek help and things only reached rock bottom when I was almost willing to throw myself out of the window of my block of flats, of which I live on the top floor.
I have only been blogging since June this year so I am still a newbie but it has been an incredibly positive form of therapy for me. I am also proud that even though I struggle with depression I have managed to self publish two books on the subject to hopefully inspire others.
To visit Garry’s blog,The Depressed Moose, click here. He has self-published two books which are available via Smashwords here.
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Excellently written. Very brave man.
Fair play , the more people that acknowledge that this is nothing to hide and no reflection on anyone’s “strength” the better,
thank you all so much for your positive comments
You’re far more eloquent to your depression than I am to mine. I just want it to f**k off.
Fair play to you Garry, a touching read. Well done on addressing depression so full on…
Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle. Pluto
Thank you Garry. This letter is honest enlightening & it could only come from someone with the experience of depression. I myself have never written to my bi-polar disorder but I have written to my family when I can to explain how Im feeling & why. I must try to write to my depression as it seems a useful & liberating experience as well as humorous. Great article, & more of it I say.
Fair play to you Gary. Keep up that positive attitude. Well done.
This should be sent to the health ministers of every bailout country in the EU to shw them first hand how their people are suffering…
They already know but they choose to ignore it
And just keep putting more and more pressure on people
what difference would that make? you are coming from the point of view that they care about the average joe soap.well let me be the one to tell you they dont.
I wrote a letter to my crippling loneliness before..
He never wrote back
You’re not really a person Creamy because you choose to use a trolling alias. So we shall just ignore you from now on.
Just because someone uses an alias on here does not make them a “troll”.
Thanks Lauren…if that is your real name -_-
lmfao comment of the day for me
I believe there are millions upon millions worldwide who suffer this evil life destroyer.
Evil? Really?
I’d never use that word to describe it.
@Tomy Are you kidding? Depression can shut down your entire life…
Um, wow – does anyone want to explain to me what was so wrong with my comment? Yes, I was serious – I wouldn’t use that word to describe depression. It just occurred to me that the word (IMO) doesn’t really fit and I commented that opinion.
Oh and by the way, I understand first hand about how big an issue depression is, how it can shut down a life so don’t imagine I’m being flippant in my original comment
Empowering & inspiring…well said Gary.
Fair play Garry, hopefully depression will no longer be seein as a stigma by people. It’s one of the most natural things in this life, but how we deal with it is the harder battle especially with young men. It is seen as a sign of weakness if you let emotion get the better of you, if you shed a tear, fall under the weight of things not stand your ground, open up about how you feel, your seen not as a man but a boy by your peers. There is a social stigma attached to been a young man, but we have to remember that we have a voice and a choice do we let the weight and pressure build up inside us till we explode, or do we use our voice and let someone listen.
Wow. Well written. Thankfully never suffered from depression myself but have lost friends to it over the years. Will read your blog and spread word. I think now that the tide s turning. It’s becoming much less of a taboo thanks to people like you Gary. Respect.
A very touching and brave read. Thankyou for sharing!
He also needs to write to friends and some family. The ones that raise their eyes and sigh when they see “misery guts” walk into a room or do their best to avoid sufferers just because they don’t understand the disease and don’t want to be around people with it making the sufferers feel 100 times worse. People who make comments behind sufferers backs such as “they don’t bring anything to the party, they are just there to make up the numbers” or basically just label the person as a lost cause! But then, these are weak people who put in the same boat would probably crumble!
But they still need to be educated on this crippling illness!
Tony, I don’t want to take away from your comment, you write as if from personal experience. The point I will add is that the person at the party suffering from depression is so often not the quiet person in the corner. Those living with depression can build amazing walls and are often the first person people think to invite to a party, we need to normalise this issue so everybody can admit their vulnerability.
You’re right Carol, there’s one side of the illness where people use humour and their ability to be the life and soul to hide their illness (so many of the worlds top entertainers and comedians have come out as sufferers) but there is also the opposite people Ji fund social situations excruciating because they find it impossible to interact and find a common ground/interest in others simply because there is too much going on inside their heads. Many on the outside see this as rudeness and fail to recognise someone who may Infact be trying but just can’t!
And yeah, talking from experience!
Well all we’re doing is highlighting that pretty much anybody could be suffering. No harm in highlighting that! :)
I can honestly say I have been well and truly overwhelmed by the response to this article. I have never had so many people visit my blog on one day, nor have I ever had such a positive reaction. From the bottom of my heart thank you all very much. I hope in some small way I have inspired and educated other people with my blog I would recommend writing down feelings about depression or other mental health illnesses as a wonderful form of therapy. It has helped me so much and given me something to live for when once upon a time I was at rock bottom. Today has been truly humbling for me.
Thank you all once again I am at a loss for words – which is never a good thing as a writer!
fair play to you mate. the more people talking about this the less it’s stigmatized. went thru some dark years a while back & a book by richard carslon ‘ stop thinking & stat living’ really worked for me. it got me thru some heavy shit later on, not for everyone tho’, my brother suffered badly with depression & wasn’t into at all. i found knocking the weed on the head helped too, again just my experience…wish you all the best beating the thing. it can be
*& start living’
Brilliant letter, I must say his method of giving depression a persona works really well and really hits home the message! Fair play Garry!
Moving article. Some many Are suffering in silence. Soldier on! Keep the chin up .
very well written well done Gary! almost everyone will go through depression at some stage of their lives there is no age limit or criteria you have to meet. many suffer in silence for many years thinking nobody will understand. articles like this are so important not just to people who suffer but to those who don’t understand how to help those who suffer.
Two days away from the first anniversary of my younger brothers death, I only wish that he had found a way to write a letter like that. Thank you.
Wonderful writing. I know your struggle all too well. Thank you for sharing this XXX
Wow Garry that is a powerful letter ! I think you may be the powerful source to turn this “dreaded” disease on its head ! Thanks for sharing .
Thanks for sharing x
Very brave from a fellow “Depressionist”!
A well-written personal account of the struggle for mental health. Go n-?ir? leat a chara.
Vitamin B especially B12 in the morning is good for people fighting depression, midday the herb Rhodiola in capsule form available from chain healthfood stores. Take with water not with a hot drink. After evening meal take Omega 3 in capsule form. Hopefully see an uplift in mood after about 10 days on these.
How can vitamins help with a psychological issue?
Wish it was that easy…
Gimme a break?? Seriously, have you ever seen anyone with a broken bone, or blood pumping out of an injury run into a Herbal Remedy shop shouting “quick, what’s good for this?”
We as a society tend to offer sympathy for diseases and illness that we can see, that are tangible, we can say “oh I’d say that’d be awful”. But we can’t see depression, most people can’t appreciate the devestating affect it can have on the lives of the sufferer and their loved ones. I can’t praise Garry enough and wish him well.
Every system in our body needs essential vitamins and minerals to thrive, the brain is no different, B12 & Omega 3 is food for the brain. The herb Rhodiola is excellent in curbing anxiety and depression. Our Ancestors used foods and herbs of all sorts as medication, and it worked,
hard to write but written from a strength within which can be hard to uncover
Very true Sarah
Well done you -:)
It takes a lot more than vitamin b to fight this no offence oonagh. Very inspiring article, touching when also have dealt first hand with it. It’s a v hard battle, with a lot of support and understanding it is one that can be won
Go to http://www.foodforthebrain.org for helpful information on using Nutrition to fit depression.
Garry, that has to be the most unique, creative, original and inspiring article, that I have ever read regarding depression, and how to approach it. Philosophers, past and present, who struggled to deal with the problem would I think, be in admiration of you.
It’s only when u suffer through it you realise how well written that is.Well done Gerry best of luck x x
Fantastic and positive article …..;)
Thank you Journal.ie and Gary especially for this item.
Thanks ,I suffer depression and never thought about writing it down thank you..
Well done Gary loved your article it’s gives me courage that depression can be beaten and you can start living your life again :)
@”anna banana. never a truer word spoken. to think more than one person a day commits suicide in ireland every day is heart breaking. stop the carnage x
Great article, was a pleasure to read, and inspiring also. thanks for writing it Gary
Thanks for this Gary.
mindfulness is supposed to be really effective for depression. it was developed as a treatment for depression.
This is a brilliant article and something that I am delighted to see highlighted so much on The Journal lately.
I think almost everyone can relate to this in some way. It takes someone very brave and strong to open up their heart to so many people in order to help others. I really believe that this can open people’s eyes and help them look at things from a different perspective and save lives.
Thank you so much Garry, you are an inspiration!
What about asking the health minister to tackle depressions allies: drink, unhealthy foods, mind numbing tv, social isolation and educating the public to the true destruction that depression causes.
Too many powerful lobby groups will keep these destructive allies alive and well. ( just watched the “Guinness” hurling all Ireland while eating extra large 1 euro bars of chocolate)
Little or no PE in primary schools.
We should attack the concrete causes first.
truth
How about DEAR DEPRESSOR,
There are a number of people we could send this letter to.
Thanks for your insight.
Sorry Garry x x x
beautifully written. really amazing garry. thanks for sharing. all the best in your continued battle and here’s hoping the tables turn for good for you sir!
Well done Garry.
Keep fighting.
Beautifully written !!
Touching & inspiring, really enjoyed the article & look forward to reading some more from you :)
a truly inspiring Story i loved it ..thank you garry ….
I have been taking a supplement called ASEA it has really helped me
I hope it doesn’t cost you too much.
http://www.sciencebasedmedicine.org/index.php/asea-another-expensive-way-to-buy-water/
Thank You Sir
Touching & Inspiring, really enjoyed this article & look forward to reading more from you :)
I’m happy to read your article. Be kind for everyone and Be strong all challenge to come in your life, Thank you for sharing.
Soulful
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