AT LEAST WE’LL always have the Cherry Tomato Bridge. 

Like how dadaism was a style of art created to protest the principles and logics of a society that could produce something as senseless and monstrous as the First World War, one could argue that the spontaneous decoration of a bridge in Drumcondra with cherry tomatoes occupies a similar space.

Life in Ireland is challenging and confusing. A brief escape to a world in which tomatoes mysteriously multiply and gather frost across the city’s unassuming suburban infrastructure was much needed. Or maybe it was just a bunch of tomatoes on a bridge and we’re all losing our minds. Who knows?

What cannot be argued, however, is that this is yet another week in which many Irish people will be left feeling disaffected by developments in the decision-making corridors of Irish society. Specifically, the latest twists and turns in government formation. 

It has long been suspected that the Regional Independent Group would plug the gap for Fianna Fáil and Fine Gael, who at the last election failed to achieve an overall majority between them yet again. Very few people seriously expected, however, that the Healy-Rae brothers would also be along for the ride. 

Infamous for aggressively prioritising the interests of his constituency and perceived by many as the personification of the parochialism in Irish politics, Michael Healy-Rae is set to assume a prominent role in setting the national agenda for the first time. Does this mean we can expect him and his brother to eschew the parish-pump approach that has defined their careers so far? Maybe not. 

In a tweet just a few weeks ago, Healy-Rae made it clear what his priorities would be were he to be asked to help the government get their agenda across for the next five years: “I have three items to discuss before going into government with anyone and that’s KERRY, KERRY and KERRY.” So that’s that.

The party leaders have my number and my phone is always on. I’ll talk to anybody but I won’t sell my soul and I have three items to discuss before going into government with anyone and that’s KERRY, KERRY and KERRY. https://t.co/0Q6TZWC3aH

— Michael Healy-Rae (@MHealyRae) December 2, 2024

While it is yet to be officially confirmed, Healy-Rae himself has said that he will be offered a junior ministry. It is expected that this position will be in the Department of Agriculture, assuming that the new government does not intend to establish a specific Kerry portfolio. Independent TDs Noel Grealish and Sean Canney have also been confirmed as taking up junior minister positions. Indeed, the incoming government is set to have the highest number of Cabinet positions ever, meaning that the public is paying more ministerial salaries than ever before. 

While this has been criticised from some corners as a ‘jobs for the boys’ situation, one should be reminded that we actually face a stark junior minister shortage in this country. It’s not that we don’t have enough houses or hospital beds or school places or guards. It’s that we don’t have enough junior ministers. Two or three more should do the trick and everything else will fall into place.

Perhaps the strangest development of all has been the insistence that those government-supporting Independents who are not furnished with a ministerial title and salary should reap other, unprecedented benefits. Michael Lowry, Gillian Toole, Danny Healy-Rae and Barry Heneghan, all of whom will be supporting the government’s agenda, have stated their collective intention to also join an opposition technical group, in order to give them more speaking time in the Dáil. Essentially, they are seeking to be part of the government, while also seeking the speaking rights that are allocated to members of the opposition.

It is one thing for the government to be composed primarily of two parties who spent the better part of a century swearing their enmity to one another. It feels like a new low that the government, in addition to being the government, also gets to be the opposition. It feels like there’s already a name for political landscapes wherein the government and the opposition are the same thing, and such governments are rarely held up as aspirational templates for other democracies. 

There hasn’t been much about this week that could be described as aspirational. Barry Heneghan, the 26-year-old Independent who is part of the Regional Independent Group, has been criticised for buddying up with the likes of Michael Lowry, who was stopped by Fine Gael from running for the party ever again in 1996 over allegations that would eventually be investigated by the Moriarty Tribunal. Heneghan defended himself by going on Ireland AM and saying “The whole issue with Michael Lowry happened two years before I was born. I think there’s been a lot of waste of taxpayer’s money going into it since.”

Referring to the Moriarty Tribunal, host Muireann O’Connell responded by asking: “You think it was waste to see if there was corruption at the highest levels of government?”, therebypopping the young man’s balloon. In that same interview, Heneghan said: “I’m an Independent, I don’t get to choose who I work with,” which is an interesting thing to say, because that is the opposite of what it means to be an Independent. He could choose to work with absolutely nobody if he felt like it. Heneghan has very much chosen who to align himself with, and it has undoubtedly surprised some of his voters.

Heneghan is also on the hook this week for nominating controversial senator Sharon Keogan to the Seanad. Keogan has previously held events at Leinster House which platformed anti-vaccination speakers, has made comments suggesting that there is “an organised takeover at every level in our society” by the LGBT community, and has expressed vocal support for Hungary’s autocratic leader Viktor Orban. Heneghan, who described himself as ‘left-wing’ earlier this month, has defended his decision to back Keogan. Heneghan said that Keogan had helped him while he’d been a councillor on Dublin City Council, and that he had not been aware that she had used the #IrelandIsFull hashtag. 

So, as government formation draws to a close, what we appear to have now is a political system whereby the role of Taoiseach is shared, government backbenchers want to join opposition technical groups, young “left-wing” TDs back controversial right-wing senators, and a guy who was once kicked out of Fine Gael and castigated by Micheál Martin plays a central role in making the whole thing happen.

Speaking to journalists this week about his role in government formation, Michael Lowry said: “If it doesn’t please some of you, that’s your problem, not mine.” Our problem, not his. Exactly what you want to hear from any representative of an incoming government. 

Now if you’ll excuse me, I must retreat to the cherry tomato bridge in my mind.