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That's right. Hands above the table. Tom Wang via Shutterstock

Careers clinic: What NOT to do at an interview

Some of it’s obvious – but so much of it is vital advice.

IT DOESN’T MATTER whether you’re seeking a part-time casual job or a full-time corporate ladder position, appearances are critical to performance at interviews.

Worse, recruitment decisions are often made within the first five minutes of eyeballing a candidate based on appearances and – dare I say it? – odours and personal habits alone.

To win at the interview game it helps enormously if you can build rapport with recruiters from the first moment of meeting. The more comfortable they feel about you, the better the interview will go. Moreover, if someone looks professional, confident and a good fit with the organisation, most recruiters will assume he or she can do the job on offer. Wild hair, chipped nail polish, shirt-tail hanging out, and suspicious smells etc., rarely build rapport – they repel. It’s that simple.

Or is it? Well, no, not quite.

Preparing for job interviews isn’t just about scrubbing up, throwing on conservative threads and taming one’s hair. It’s about turning recruiters on. Drawing them in. Doing everything in your power to make them want to hear and then like what you have to say.

Turn them off and nobody’s listening. Instead, they’re thinking variations of the same thing over and over again on a loop: “How fast can I get this person out of here?”

In an ideal world, of course, the substance of what you have to say would be far more important than how you look, act and speak. But it isn’t an ideal and never will be. Like it or lump it, research consistently shows you are more likely to land a job if:

  • You’re obviously freshly washed. If male, that you’re clean shaven or, if you have a beard, that it’s neatly trimmed, along with your hair, have clean fingernails and use deodorant. If female, your face is not plastered in make-up, hair is tidy, have clean, subtly manicured fingernails as opposed to 5-inch talons, are also using deodorant, not wearing clothes so risqué they scream “Look at me!” and, if generously endowed, your cleavage is covered and you’re using a robust bra. Regardless off a recruiter’s sex or gender orientation, bouncing boobs, saluting nipples, and over-exposed flesh are extremely distracting.
  • In the case of both males and females, you have on clean, smoothly ironed clothes, trousers with a sharp crease down the leg, and are wearing polished shoes, not open-toed sandals, flip-flops or Dita von Teese stilettos.
  • Your breath doesn’t hum of garlic, tobacco, alcohol, and / or onions. Nobody – but nobody – enjoys holding their breath in confined spaces. Heads will swivel, throats will gag, and the interview is over. Do as your mother told you to: brush your teeth. Equally critical is not wafting a mushroom cloud of aftershave or perfume so pungent it clears a path before you.

Other bullet-proof strategies for turning recruiters off include:

  • Avoiding eye contact. This is a big no-no. Just do it. Otherwise recruiters will suspect you of lying and you don’t need me to tell you what happens next. Nothing.
  • Eyes fixed and dilated are equally troublesome. Strangely recruiters are averse to the trapped, drilling sensation this triggers in heads. Focus on the chin or forehead to soften your gaze instead. Doing so will also aid those erring in the other direction.
  • Limp handshakes. Recruiters will understand if a hand betrays signs of nervousness but they will never, ever, forgive or forget the slithery, slimy sensation that comes from weakly pressed flesh-on-flesh.
  • Cracked knuckles. Yes, yes, a firm handshake is advisable but please don’t squeeze down and wait for the crack of joints. Equally, don’t yank a recruiter out of their air space and into yours. Doing so could be misconstrued.
  • Fiddling and fidgeting with anything. This is especially true of nose-picking, chewing nails, poking fingers in ears, and / or exploring one’s nether regions. Need I say more? Yes. Stop it. Stop it now. Each and every one is revolting, particularly if you find something and pause to examine it.
  • Slouching, yawning, playing with hair, checking watches and / or mobile phones. If you have something better to do, then go do it. Oh, and if your mobile phone rings, go home. And if you must yawn, cover your mouth. Your tonsils are your own business.

It’s also a compete turn-off to recruiters if you:

  • Speak so softly you can’t be heard or boom so loudly you can be heard three rooms away.
  • Give answers in a hesitant fashion or speak in monosyllables, to wit – ummm, aaaah, no, umm, yes, I dunno, might be – all of which guarantees being told to: “SPIT IT OUT” even if only in the recruiter’s mind.
  • Constantly interrupting and / or gabbling at warp speed. The time to shut up or slow down is when the recruiter’s eyes glaze over.
  • Downplay achievements or abilities, or criticise yourself continuously.
  • Equally damaging are making excuses, blaming others for past mistakes, and bitching about previous employers.
  • State sole objective for job change is money / package related / fancy the receptionist.
  • Even hinting at possessing any of the following traits will also guarantee bombing at interview:
  • Arrogance, conceit, aggressiveness and / or overbearing attitude. Who wants to work with a boor?
  • Lack of tact or courtesy and / or tardiness. Forgetting the recruiter’s name or arriving late is rude and there’s no excuse for either.
  • Having no clear, plausible reasons for leaving current position.

Elizabeth Hutcheson is a career consultant with www.SliNuaCareers.com, who offer CV preparation, interview training and mock interview services. They have offices in Dublin, Galway and Ballinrobe, Co Mayo. To get their free ebook offering Job Hunting and Interview Tips, email getthatjob@slinuacareers.com with ‘ebook’ in the subject line.

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20 Comments
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    Mute Damocles
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    May 6th 2013, 9:48 AM

    They should do this with pensioners and knitting.

    310
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    Mute Dan Yan
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    May 6th 2013, 10:07 AM

    Given THC, the active ingredient in marijuana, the spider didn’t build a web, it built a hammock, where it lay all day and watched the caffeine spider go.

    The crack cocaine spider figured building webs was for suckers, waited till the caffeine spider was exhausted, then came up behind it and popped a cap in its ass. Nice web, Mr. Crack Spider.

    When winter came, the marijuana spider had no place to live, it ended up in the crack web as the crack spider’s bitch.

    280
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    Mute ieoinu
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    May 6th 2013, 10:59 AM

    Ha ha!

    14
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    Mute Michael Roughan
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    May 6th 2013, 1:18 PM

    I wonder what the Irish spider would do after a few pints of Guinness ? Probably a straight web to the pub !!

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    Mute Prince Hector
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    May 6th 2013, 4:05 PM

    True story this;- ‘ The Roughty bar ‘ in Kenmare, – an American came in & ordered a pint of ‘ real Irish Guinness ‘, The barman was just topping the pint when a little spider fell off the tap, onto the head of the pint.
    Barman puts pint up on the counter to the Yank,
    Yank says “hey, I ain’t drinkin’ that, there’s a spider in it…!! ”
    Barman says sorry, & flicks the spider off the head.
    Yank says; ” hey, – I still ain’t drinkin’ that…!! ”
    Barman says;- ” What the hell is wrong with you, – you won’t drink it with the spider, – you won’t drink it without the spider……!! “…

    11
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    Mute Martina Lavin
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    May 6th 2013, 10:13 AM

    The spider in my house at the moment is on speed!! I knock the webs down and he’s coming along behind me building them back up! the little sh&te!

    82
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    Mute andrew kirby
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    May 6th 2013, 10:18 AM

    I recommend you squash him so..!

    30
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    Mute Bernard Cribbons
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    May 6th 2013, 10:37 AM

    Innocent animal.

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    Mute Claire Cullen-Delsol
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    May 6th 2013, 11:15 AM

    There is nothing innocent about spiders.

    35
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    Mute Martina Lavin
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    May 6th 2013, 11:22 AM

    he’s on speed!!

    22
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    Mute Kardia Skepsi
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    May 6th 2013, 12:52 PM

    Spiders kill flies, the real bad guys.

    39
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    Mute Little Jim
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    May 6th 2013, 1:34 PM

    Don’t hate the player, hate the game.
    That spider probably had a bad upbringing.

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    Mute Martina Lavin
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    May 6th 2013, 2:20 PM

    very true Kardia! there is a spider web that wouldn’t look out of place in spider Beverly Hills in my garden shed and he’s just waiting for those filthy blue bottles to arrive! he’s huge and I reckon he’s partial to the odd splif or two. he just sits there looking all chilled just waiting for his spider chicken bucket!

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    Mute Julian King
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    May 6th 2013, 4:44 PM

    Ha ha

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    Mute Nydon
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    May 6th 2013, 11:14 AM

    Was the marijuana web an actual web or an artist impression of what the spider said he would create some day?

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    Mute Mike Hall
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    May 6th 2013, 10:26 AM

    I think, out of these, I’d rather have the Marijuana world thankyou :)

    Scary, the world we have is probably the Caffeine one :(

    46
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    Mute Frank Brady
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    May 6th 2013, 10:09 AM

    On my second mug of coffee sa I raed Tihs :)

    38
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    Mute Stephen McCormack
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    May 6th 2013, 10:03 AM

    The house spider Tegenaria pictured doesn’t spin webs, instead it makes a funnel and attacks prey straying near the entrance. Coffee time.

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    Mute P1
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    May 6th 2013, 9:51 AM

    Was this a World Wide experiment ?

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    Mute Michelle Philpot
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    May 6th 2013, 9:53 AM

    Look it up on the web :P

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    Mute Ronan Stokes
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    May 6th 2013, 1:37 PM

    I don’t know 1 Web developer who can get through the day without coffee.

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    Mute Cannabis Freedom
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    May 6th 2013, 12:25 PM

    My dream of setting up a web based business has just been shattered.

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    Mute Adam
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    May 6th 2013, 10:19 AM
    14
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    Mute Adam
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    May 6th 2013, 10:20 AM

    The video of this experiment

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    Mute anthony byrne
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    May 6th 2013, 11:50 AM

    Jasus, and i drink about 6 cups of coffee a day in work. Its just as well im not expected to produce decent quality spiders webs. … I wonder would the quality of my output improve if i cut back on the coffee. …. Ummm … Food for thought.

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    Mute Geraldine Margaret Bowes
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    May 6th 2013, 2:35 PM

    Sitting on my bed looking in my mirror felt like little strands of my hair were itching my face when all of a sudden a huge fecker of a spider climbs over my mouth!!!!! Threw it across the room and nearly killed myself trying to get out of my bedroom at the same time!!! Didn’t see where it landed but I’m fully sure it’s waiting for revenge:(

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    Mute Ailís McKernan
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    May 6th 2013, 12:04 PM

    And here I was thinking caffeine could improve performance, janey mac!

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    Mute Christian Carley
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    May 6th 2013, 1:00 PM

    This is older than time

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    Mute Jennifer Connolly
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    May 7th 2013, 4:48 AM

    Now why would you want to interfere with them in the first place? Weird!

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    Mute conor foley
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    May 6th 2013, 1:09 PM

    Sorry I have dabbled in my time but I hav never taken chloral hydrate or Benzedrine

    1
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