I’m going to be a dad for the first time soon. This advice is good. One thing I’d add is to make a bunch of your favorite dinners and freeze them in dinner sized portions!

Not all babies keep their parents up all night. Although I still know some parents who wait up until their 28 year old son gets in from a night out….

It’s good to see an article being wriiten that takes into account that there are actually TWO parents involved in the whole event and as such can have knock on affects on both.

I’m sure there are many fathers who don’t get involved it their kids birth and raising of their baby that much but far too many women generalise this across the board

this is another good reason to support dads with paid paternity leave. The first few weeks are tough and need the 2 parents to support each other. I loved having the time with my two boys and have many lovely memories. childhood only happens once and as a dad I don’t want to miss theirs.

Good article David.

I became a Dad to baby Lola 4 weeks ago and so far, it’s been amazing. It certainly helps that she’s feeding and sleeping really well. Whenever she does get a bit unsettled, she’s pretty easy to calm down too.

If I had any advice, it would be this:

- Get out for the first time as soon as you can. Even if this is a walk around the block or the first car journey, those milestones are great to get over and done with and give you more confidence to develop a new routine. It can be challenging, but like everything else, the more you do it the better you become.

- Communicate. Constantly. There’s no denying it, as good as Lola has been, being a parent is challenging. No matter how many books you read or tv shows you watch, as new parents you need to find what works for you. Practically-speaking, this involves where and how you change nappies, how you store all the bits and pieces, how warm the water should be when giving a bath (don’t argue over it, buy a €3 thermometer in Tesco specifically for the job) and how you hold baby when winding them. These are all liable to change as you get more confident, but if you decide to change something, let your partner know and agree on “the new way” of doing things.

- Use your support network. Friends, family whoever. We’ve been extremely lucky in that regard, but whatever the situation, use them to help in whatever way possible, even if it’s to get a nap as the original article mentioned.

- Enjoy it. You made this little human, they’re all yours. Hold them, cuddle them, kiss them, play with their hands and feet, laugh at them and with them. It’s without doubt the most amazing experience.

Last time around no sleep lots of screaming and trips to hospital in the first year or so before we finally got a diagnosis of a bowel disorder. Was very stressful. This time no sleep due to the stress of checking that baby is still alive as is sooo quiet. I. CAnt believe the difference.

How refreshing to see this type of article! Gives me hope for the future! ‘modern’ men rock!! Good on ya lads! :)

You should try it with twins. Now there’s proper sleep deprivation!

Well done Simon, your wife is a lucky lady! We are new parents too and your advice is spot on

Bah humbug @John!! Maybe if more men got encouragement FROM OTHER MEN there wouldn’t be so many women ‘moaning’ and the like about their husbands/partners/boyfriends!! Unfortunately the men above are in the minority in my experience…To tell them to “just get on with it” makes it seem like a laborious task.. Good man yourself!

Always someone around with a negative comment!!

If you’ve got a crier, like mine was, buy some earplugs. It makes the difference between sleep and no sleep. However, only use them when both of you are there and never while alone with your child.

My hubby and I have just welcomed our little one home two weeks ago and the night on night off thing Seriously works gives us both a chance to rest. Makes a huge difference

O dear, O dear, Jimbo and Lisa ! Having reared four beautiful children and my wife and I not having enjoyed a nights sleep for 5/6 years, for sure I know what I’m talking about. Rearing children can of course be challenging but also, so rewarding and when I hear parents complaining it makes me sad. Looking back, they were the best of times, demanding yes, but happy none the less. One word of advice, be a team, support each other and as I said before, count your blessings !! :)

Absolutely hated the no sleep thing, just cannot function on anything less than eight hours! Mine are now 22 and 24, one was a great sleeper (in so far as babies are), and still is, he must take after me, other was a terrible sleeper and still is, seems to dream a lot! Personally I hated the young baby stage, exhaustion is all I remember, and my husband was brilliant when home!!! I much prefer them a little older, when you ‘know’ them! I think the anti natal classes shouldn’t stop at the birth, they should tell it like it really is afterward, I got a shock I had no real idea how demanding the whole thing is. Having said all of that, I adore my big kids, they are wonderful caring people, who have done well for themselves from their hard work….must have done something right!

My advice is to wash while they’re asleep, go to toilet even. Sorry I don’t mean to be uncouth but it’s nigh impossible when you are cradling them!

I can never understand why men are not given the same paternity leave as women. Definitely something that needs to change that will not only allow for a balance and support at home, but will help equalise the sexes in the workplace.

Our little man slept 10 hrs straight from the day he came home from the Hospital. No.2 is probably going to be an el de ablo reincarnation.

Routine, routine routine. Night now!

I was lucky, in a sense, that we had our first kid in the UK. With a weeks annual leave arranged through work, I had three weeks in total for paternity leave. I felt I needed every minute of it.

One night on, one night off worked well for us: we realized very, very early that one of us needed to sleep while the other was up, and to plan ahead as much as possible.

When I went back to work, we agreed that my partner would bear the brunt of the weekday nights, but I would take Friday and Saturday nights. In practice, there was at least always one weekday night where we were both up with baby – but there was just enough sleep in the week for the two of us to cope.

I also had enough extra leave set aside for when shots were needed – or scheduled in advance so that I could have a longer weekend to help out at home.

Getting and keeping baby on some sort of routine, in the early months was good, and was even more important when baby 2 came along.

Communicating is key; no matter how tired you might be as a new dad, remember that your partner has just gone through the most draining, emotional and physically arduous experience of her life – all before any medical complications make themselves felt. But she should also recognise you’re picking up all the slack you can.

Family help can be a godsend. We didn’t have any around, but I can see how having someone to pop in to help with baby for a few hours every once in a while would have made a big difference.

Finally – take time to take stock and enjoy your new family. The time really does fly by.

My 2nd child had very bad colic and never slept, god I’ll never forget how hard it was and I don’t know how we got through it… She would cry constantly and I’d be worried sick at first, then wishing she’d just stop crying, then wishing someone would take her for a few hours while I got some sleep (we had no help), then when she finally closed her eyes (which was only ever for a half hour or so) I would feel pure guilt for wanting to ‘get rid for a couple oh hours’,…. This went on for nearly two years with only 2 hours sleep here and there, It was physically and emotional draining If I hadn’t had such a hard time with her I would have wanted more kids but I’m happy with the two I have, couldn’t risk going through that again lol

Sigh where to start. It really depends on the guy. I have an almost 7 year old and a three year old and I can probably count on one hand the nights I’ve had a full nights sleep in the last 6 and a half years. I’m not moaning about it it comes with the territory and I love my kids to bits just stating a fact. I’ve had nights where I literally was up all night walking the floor with a crying baby to be greeted at 6:30 am with the child is crying you’d better get up. Never mind that I’d only gotten into bed at 5:30. The kids dad has only ever gotten up to the kids if for any reason I was not home. He never changed nappies or did baths or anything. If I had any advice for a new dad can I just say share the load. I also worked full time might I add and even on 1 hour sleep had to go to work every day. Its partly down to the way of the home in Ireland. The man works and the woman looks after the house and kids. It’s been that way for years. I’m not saying all men are like that but a fair few I know are.

I am laughing now at my work colleagues (those with no families) when they say how wrecked they are after late night out or busy weekend playing golf or fishing. They have no clue what they are talking about :) we have 2 small children and no relatives / family living here to help every now and then so it’s constant 24 x 7 x 365 we for them :) I’m not complaining love them more than anything in this world but only we know how hard it’s been, however it improves when time goes by. For me it worked to get some night time hobby while you rock them to sleep or just wait before they wake up (we knew their sleep / wake intervals so say there wasn’t point getting to bed if you knew you will have 20 mins sleep maybe – better was just wait feed them and then go to bed ASAP with them). I started reading books again for example :) did not have time for that (well I thought so!) before the kids :) not that it resolves the situation but helps a bit dealing with frustration and stress.

Jeez, how on earth did my mother and all the other womem around her manage with large families ???

Times (and people) have changed, and the effects will take years to work their way through the system.

I hold my counsel on whether all this change is ‘good’

Whatever happened to the concept of a nursery and a nurse? Life in today’s workplace is stressful enough without having one’s sleep disturbed on a constant basis. Come to think of it, why are Chinese children so quiet and well-behaved compared to Western children?

Don’t know what all the fuss is about, missing a few hours sleep, how awful. Just
get on with it and while you’re at it, count your blessings!!!

give me a fecking break…post natal depression in men,kick up the arse they need.

i have to say, i have an 18 month old daughter called Sienna and from day one she has been a brilliant sleeper. for the first few months she woke at 4 for her feed, i heated the bottle and the wife fed her, then at 7:30 when sienna woke i took the baby for few hours, now our daughter goes to bed at 8:30pm and wakes at 9:30..
my sister in law has a 4 year old with her partner and he does nothing to help. he came home from work, bypassed his family and went to his room to read his bible.
its annoying how nearly every woman thinks that all men want their rock and roll and dont take care of their responsibilities, i also hate when the couple are together and the woman refuses to give the child the fathers surname. and also for the women out there, a baby is not a weapon, so stop using them as one, alot of women push the men away when they split an then call him all the names under the sun, its not men that need to get their act together, its mainly women.