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Dublin: 16 °C Sunday 19 May, 2013

Column: ‘If I could go back in time, I never would’ve put that first cigarette in my mouth’

On National No Smoking Day, Joan Conway tells how she gave up smoking at 45 – after first taking up the habit at the tender age of 17.

TO MARK NATIONAL No Smoking Day, ex-smoker Joan Conway tells how she finally kicked her decades-long dependency on cigarettes – and how she’s never felt better.

I SMOKED FOR 28 years before I decided to give up cigarettes. I smoked from the age of 17 right up until last January. I used to smoke 20-30 cigarettes a day. I remember well the day I picked up my first cigarette. After having my first child at 17,  I had to stay at home and mind her. That was when I started smoking. Every other mother I met in the area smoked so they could de-stress. It was really a social thing – we would go have a cup of tea, a chat and a cigarette. So I used to smoke with them and before I knew it I was hooked.

My first cigarette

I always worked but the last few years my health hasn’t been as good as it used to be and I began to notice problems with my circulation. I was diagnosed with Raynaud’s syndrome. Someone told me that when they stopped smoking their circulation problems improved, so that was the first thing that made me think seriously about quitting. Also, there was the fact that I couldn’t afford them. I was actually buying market cigarettes at one point, as I couldn’t afford them anywhere else. I was buying a carton of these cheap cigarettes that would do me a week and they weren’t even a  brand that I liked. It was just so I could continue smoking.

Last year, my circulation got worse around Christmas. It was so cold and my hands were in a lot of pain. I just couldn’t go out with it. I knew I had to improve my situation, so I decided – once and for all – to give up the smokes. I said to myself “I can do this”.

My first port of call was my GP. I knew this was something I couldn’t do on my own. He gave me nicotine patches and as it was around January, there was a lot of publicity about the National Smokers’ Quit Line, so I called them and asked for help. They were a great help to me. They sent me a out a pack with booklets of information and they were also very good at keeping me going. They would ring me regularly to see how I was getting on and they just really supported me throughout the whole thing.

I got great support from my doctor too, and that’s important. You can’t get through it without the support of others.  I needed it too, as the rest of my family all smoked.

Being social

Smoking, for me, started out as a very social thing to do. It’s interesting just how much that has changed. Now it is the complete opposite. I think the smoking ban being introduced has made a huge difference. What is important is that the message about just how bad smoking is and just how difficult it is to quit gets out into the public realm. More and more women are smoking, and this is a real problem.

In my opinion, I think young girls are taking up smoking to keep down their weight. People used to tell me when I was smoking that I looked great and then when I stopped I started to put weight on. I was told by my doctor that when you quit smoking your metabolism changes. But it’s all about your health and smoking just isn’t good for you. Still, I think that women worry about their weight. It sounds superficial but it seems to be a big issue for young girls, particularly. I remember myself what it was like, when I used to smoke before I would eat.

Another thing that people don’t like to hear is how much I loved smoking – and many people do love it. No matter how much you tell them it isn’t good for them, it doesn’t matter. They will only quit when they want to. My own daughter is a very health-conscious girl. She is very active, she loves sports, she loves going to the gym, but she still smokes.

Quitting

I’m not going to lie; quitting smoking is difficult and most people fall down at some point. I had one lapse in the last six months. I went to a social event and I was the only one who didn’t smoke. When they all went outside to have a cigarette, I went out with them. I spent the night puffing away. The next day I had the cigarette packet in my bag and I just threw them out. I thought – “I’ve done that now, now that’s done”.

I always thought after I gave them up that I was missing something and, obviously, I was – the nicotine, nothing more. I had to go there to know that I had done the right thing by giving them up. I was able to throw them away and never look back. There are times you think you would like one, a little craving comes over you – that’s where willpower comes in.

It was difficult, but it was very worth it as I am healthy now. I walk about four miles every day. I used to get out of breath, but I never do now. If I could go back in time, I never would have put that first cigarette in my mouth. I wish I never started. It’s so the important for me now to get that message across to people.

It’s especially important for the young people to hear people like me speak about this, so they can hear the regret I have about ever starting. It really just isn’t worth it.

Joan Conway is from Athy, County Kildare.

If you would like more information on how to quit smoking please call the National Smokers’ QuitLine on 1850 201 203. It’s a free service, manned by quit counsellors who will give advice, information and support. This service is provided by the Irish Cancer Society in partnership with the HSE. For further information please visit ASH Ireland or The Irish Cancer Society.

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Comments (66 Comments)

  • Nozaed 13/02/13 #

    I was a smoker since I was 12 years old. I regret ever taking up the filthy habit. Of course I thought I was the big man smoking? Anyway I married the love of my life at the age of 35 years and then we had complications getting pregnant after trying for 5 years we had the greatest gift a couple could get – A healthy little girl .
    Just 11months, even before our little girl was 1 year old, I was diagnosed with stage 4 Non small cell lung cancer. The doctor said it was treatable but not curable!, it was terminal with 2 to 3 years at most.
    I have past the 3 year mark, but to say life was pleasant in the last 3 years would be a terrible lie. What we as a family have to live with is so unfair.
    We are living with a ticking time bomb, not knowing what’s ahead. We do not make any plans, we don’t discuss the future, I can’t think of my little girls marriage , walking her up the aisle, my grand kids but most of all growing old with my beautiful wife.
    Give up the cigs today guys, it’s just not worth it! God Bless.

    Reply
    • What a terrible burden for you. I hope a miracle comes your way. Stay strong and enjoy every minute with your family, after all you HAVE been blessed; you have a loving family around you. I will keep you in my thoughts. Btw, I am off them 13 years this year.

      Reply
  • I smoked for 25 years and have not smoked since new year.
    : )

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  • 3 days off them now..Good Luck everyone.

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  • 6 years off them today :)
    Best of luck to anyone giving up

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  • My wife and I are off them 3 months and feeling greath a lot more engery

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  • Best of luck to anyone quitting today.

    Reply
  • 7months smoke free. Hardest thing to do. Glad i did it.

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  • dirty filthy habit…todays gonna be the end of them…i hope! :)

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  • Quit smoking 12 years ago,remember at one point, constantly coughing as my lungs were cleaning themselves out.(Note the medical diagnosis from a non doctor!lol) Coughing went on for a good few weeks,but eventually stopped.Pure struggle at times,but persist!Whatever you do,don’t give in to the “I’ll have one cigarette,and that’s it.”It will trip you up badly.Sincere best of luck to all who are quitting!

    Reply
  • Seriously addictive and one of the biggest challenges a smoker can face, my humble advice from experience is to get out and walk, run or cycle at every opportunity and never mind the weather.

    Reply
  • Off them a month and a half now…. tried willpower, patches, gum, lozenges previously but to no avail. If anyone is serious about quitting, Try Champix… and of course… Willpower..;-)

    Reply
  • My mother died young from Emphysema, an awful thing to see, I remember her telling me that if only she knew how it was going to affect her future she’d NEVER have started all those years ago. On oxygen all the time & oxygen mask at night, no quality of life. She gave them up the year before she died but it was too late, damage had been done & the disease advanced very fast. She was from a generation where it was glamorous to smoke, 1940/50′s. Ive just had a baby girl and wouldve loved it if she was here to see her granddaughter …I’ve never smoked but my heart goes out to anyone who does & wants to give up, that’s nearly 99% of people who smoke I think. It isn’t easy…. So best of luck to anyone who’s off the cigarettes or going to try give them up.. Don’t be too hard on yourself and avoid places where people smoke for awhile.. If you do light up don’t feel bad, try again…. It’s worth it for you & your family…

    Reply
  • I have tried everything still can’t kick them bloody things.

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  • 14 mths clean….days are so much better, good luck every…stay strong it’s worth it

    Reply
  • I’m off them for 7 years now, and I’d strongly recommend the Alan Carr method.

    The reason the Alan Carr method is successful, is that it dis-spells most of what you are reading above. The tobacco industry, since it cannot directly advertise, spends a lot of money brainwashing you about your smoking. The book is very convincing you at brainwashing.

    There’s an industry right now working very hard to convince you that quitting is really difficult. They do this by providing a myriad of nicotine products to help you quit the ‘habit of smoking’. The habit side of the quitting industry is bull. I stopped biting my nails in a day when my orthodontist pointed out that the slight concave of my incisors was due to this. So what does this leave, the nicotine addiction.

    Why so many people try to treat an addiction to nicotine with nicotine is beyond me. But just look at the adds for nicotine therapy products. They’re full of people going demented for the want of a cigarette, re-enforcing the belief that you’ll go demented if you try to quit, so what do you do? You make a plan to quit that involves using their products.

    De-brainwash yourself. I enjoyed quitting cigarettes when I quit. I spent the first 3 weeks laughing at the notion of it being difficult, such was my resolve, comfortable in the knowledge that I was no longer brainwashed. This is what the Alan Carr method teaches you.

    It also has better long term affects, because you don’t live in fear of this terrible addiction – you are comfortable being around smokers, and comfortable in any situation where you’d normally have fallen off the wagon – my own particular one of these used to be “I’m on holidays, I like a smoke outside in good weather, and sure I’ll just smoke for the couple of weeks I’m here, wtf, I’m on holidays.” Fast forward 2 weeks and I’ve spent the last of my holiday money on duty free or cheap fags.

    I like a cigar at a special occasion such as a wedding, and I can smoke a cigar free of fear of starting smoking again, and without ever getting a notion about smoking cigarettes afterwards.

    Reply
  • If I found my daughter with marijuana I would have concerns but my main advice to her would be not to put tobacco in if she smokes it. Tobacco is horrendously addictive and by far the most dangerous of the two

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    • Niall 13/02/13 #

      I know this will sound a bit mad but I really don’t believe nicotine is as addictive as people, generally smokers, say. I was a social smoker for years, did it only when I was on the lash and could easily rattle through 20/30 fags a night. This could be twice a week. And then never gave them a second thought, ever, until I had maybe 4 pints again and I’d be off. So if its so its so addictive how come 60 odd fags a week never enticed me to buy a pack sober or smoke during the day?

      Reply
    • Some people are lucky like that and don’t develop addictions easily. With alcohol for example, most people can drink periodically and sensibly. A minority can’t control it at all and develop dangerous drinking habits that they can’t control even if they know its harming them.
      Its similar with nicotine but the proportion that develop harmful addictions that they can’t control is much much higher

      Reply
    • Have you considered the fact that you were addicted? 60 a week is more than a lot of smokers smoke in a week. Also 60 a week when you’re drinking doesn’t make you any healthier.

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    • Niall you were addicted you just associated them with drinking. I know a few people who smoke more when they drink.

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    • Niall 13/02/13 #

      Lads of course I wasn’t addicted. I choose to do it when I was out on the piss. There were many times I didn’t do it and I haven’t in years now but I had no interest in them for about 155 hours out of 168 in a week. If I was addicted there would have been need, cravings, mood swings, more beer etc but there never ever was. So yis are wrong I’m afraid.

      Reply
  • I tried many times to quit but found it too difficult. One day in a friends place I saw the easyway book by Allen Carr. Borrowed it out of curiosity and haven’t smoked since October. I didn’t read it necessarily to quit but to see if it was an easy way. Best thing I’ve ever done. I knew with the last cig that it was my last. Truly easy too, I’d even say enjoyable. It doesn’t work for everybody but it’s well worth a try. This is not an ad I promise, I’d just like to see more people stop for good.

    Reply
  • Started when I was about 14 and I’m off them now a month. I think the key is to not be around other smokers, you don’t even miss them then.

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  • Quitting tobacco was the best thing I ever did and I wish anyone that’s going for it the best of luck, the one recommendation I’d give is “As soon as you put out your last cigarette, tell yourself that you’re now a non-smoker and BE HAPPY ABOUT IT”.

    One of the main reasons why people fail to quit is that when they stop smoking they get depressed about it, they feel that they’re missing out on “that lovely cigarette”, they quite often get through the nicotine addiction phase (3-4 weeks), but then eventually give in to their mental cravings (not to be mixed up with nicotine cravings) – Think about it, “that lovely cigarette” is actually an illusion and it’s what makes makes quitting so difficult for so many people, “that lovely cigarette” is nothing more than the feeling a nicotine addict gets when they get their fix by lighting that next cigarette, it’s like wearing tight shoes to feel the comfort of taking them off – Non smokers don’t suffer the pain of tight shoes, the same way they don’t suffer with nicotine cravings. When you’re a smoker you want nothing more than to be able to quit, you know that it’s a disgusting habit, it costs you a fortune, it damages your health & ruins your appearance, it actually has no positives – Remind yourself of that now that you’re a Non Smoker, rejoice in the fact and BE HAPPY ABOUT IT, it’s the new you!

    And don’t ever be fooled into thinking you can have “just the one” (isn’t that how you started in the first place), as that too is an illusion. Nine times out of 10, once you smoke, that nicotine (most addictive drug known to man) is back in your system and before long that little nicotine itch will have you back on 20 a day. Anyway, if you’re a HAPPY non smoker, why would you even want one in the first place?

    Reply
  • 16 days off them! Would still cut off my right hand for one now though!

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  • @niall my friend read a book bout giving up smoking..your a different kind of addict..ur body associates alcohol with nicitone..luckily i am the same and only smoke when i go out but i wish i cud stop altogether

    Reply
  • iBob101 13/02/13 #

    One reason giving up cigarettes is so hard is because we only have so much willpower and can easily get worn down if, say, people are smoking around us. The trick I used was that I told myself I could smoke as much as I liked but I used my limited willpower to stop myself buying any cigarettes in the shops. Once you’ve run out of cigarettes you’ve either got to borrow (which gets embarrassing) or buy some more (which means heading down to the shops – here’s where I tried to resist). I also avoided pubs which are also cigarette shops where, after a few drinks, it becomes impossible to resist buying some. May sound stupid but it worked for me.

    Reply
    • I’m off the 7 year but would have one occasionally if I had a drink. In November I was diagnosed with bronchitis as realized that’s why I wheezed and woke up coughing. I’m completely off the now but I would saw if you weaken and have one don’t beat yourself up just move on. It taken 48 hours for nicotine to leave the system.

      Reply
  • I gave them up in august of last year having smoked for 32 years. I used the Alan Carr method after throwing away all the patches, inhalers and other garbage the doc had given to me a week before. It was the best decision i have ever made in my life, i had a bad cholestrol problem going on as well, so i decided i was going to replace fags with diet and exercise. I am 48 years of age and have never felt better since i made the changes. i power walk/jog 5 days a week, and do a circuit training class with punch bags, weights etc twice a week. I’ve lost 2 stone since i stopped smoking! If anyone had told me this time last year that life would be like it is now for me i would have laughed in their face. What spurred me into giving them up was looking at my beloved dad die of lung cancer after being ill for just 6 weeks. he was a heavy smoker in his day and before he died he used to beg me to give them up. He died in august 2007 and it took me 5 years, numerous failed attempts and a lot of hard work to do it but i hope never to smoke again. the very thought of putting poison like that into my body is all i need to think about any time i’m tempted. good luck to anyone trying to quit, it’s not easy but it is well worth it. We only have one life to live.

    Reply
  • E-cigs are great.

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  • I have tried everything still can’t kick them bloody things.

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  • To celebrate lent i will be mostly listening to peter gabriel & kate bushs’ rendtion of don’t give up…that is all

    Reply
  • For those trying to quit. This article on the tobacco industry and child labour may help
    motivate you.

    http://www.guardian.co.uk/global-development/2011/sep/14/malawi-child-labour-tobacco-industry

    Reply
  • Smokers are weak they lack discipline.

    Queue red thumbs for a home truth

    Reply
  • Scurges

    Reply
  • see http://www.evolvehypnotherapyclinic.com A whole new approach to successfully quitting for good, using hypnotherapy and law of attraction techniques.

    Reply

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