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Colman Noctor promoting his new book 'Cop On'. Marc O'Sullivan

Attention parents: We'll have an expert in for a LIVE Q&A to answer your questions

Are you having problems with your little ones? Ask the expert…

NO ONE WITH any sense thinks parenting is a walk in the park.

Though the experience of bringing up children can be hugely rewarding, it comes with challenges and parents now are facing new ones every day, especially as technology advances and their kids get their hands on it.

This afternoon at 2.30pm, we will have child and adolescent psychotherapist Colman Noctor in the office for a live Q&A to answer any parenting questions you have, big or small.

  • Has your little one reached the terrible twos and you’re struggling to manage their not-so-tiny tantrums?
  • Is your child being bullied at school or are you worried they may be feeling very down about something?
  • Are you expecting your second child and looking for advice on how to help your first one adapt?
  • Do you struggle to get your kids to look away from their smartphones/video games long enough to have even a short conversation with them?
  • Are you having constant arguments with your troubled teen?

We’ll read out your questions live and Colman will offer his expert advice.

You can leave your problems or questions in the comments below, or, if you would prefer to keep it anonymous, email michelle@thejournal.ie.

We’ll be livestreaming the Q&A at TheJoural.ie office from 2.30pm, so don’t forget to tune in.

WATCH OUR LAST Q&A: Dr Eddie Murphy answers your mental health questions>

Read: Want to help your kids survive in today’s world? Teach them to cop on>

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45 Comments
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    Mute Spiderman
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    Apr 12th 2015, 8:58 PM

    What do you do as a parent when your 3 year old decides to ‘wash’ your laptop with nail varnish remover?

    196
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    Mute Caroline Otoole
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    Apr 12th 2015, 9:10 PM

    We have a 3 and 4 year old, EVERYTHING in the house is up high. when we run out of room we lock it in the spare room.

    85
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    Mute Suzie Sunsine
    Favourite Suzie Sunsine
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    Apr 12th 2015, 9:23 PM

    Breathe , keep breathing , deep breaths and when the child goes to bed , just cry and let it all out ..

    172
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    Mute Emachine
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    Apr 12th 2015, 11:25 PM

    Give yourself a good mental kick up the arse and be thankful all the 3 year old done was wash your laptop. Keep chemicals out of reach of children.

    152
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    Mute Michelle Ní Dhubhlaíocht
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:06 AM

    John Ferry… can I suggest the milk banks to you who can supply breastmilk. So thoughtful of you though for thinking of them.

    97
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    Mute Mjhint
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    Apr 12th 2015, 9:30 PM

    How do you help a child with low self esteem & a marriage breakup.

    97
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    Mute hjGfIgAq
    Favourite hjGfIgAq
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    Apr 13th 2015, 8:21 AM

    Thanks for the comment, your question is on the list now too!

    Michelle

    16
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    Mute Roomba Roomba
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    Apr 13th 2015, 9:08 PM

    Not only has your child already been married but he has gotten a divorce already- I think there’s notuch we can do about this particular case

    17
    Lily
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    Mute Lily
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    Apr 12th 2015, 10:36 PM

    A very bubbly, happy child who often complains of tummy ache before school. *Medical conditions ruled out.

    Very probably anxiety, worry over forgetting something (something he often does). Even when he remembers everything he still worries.

    73
    Lily
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    Mute Lily
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    Apr 12th 2015, 10:46 PM

    *His not being bullied.

    Age 8

    He got out of first confession too by pulling a very convincing sickie and only told me later that day that is was first confession.

    His not a bold child, but a dreamer, head in the clouds, head full of fluff, a kind / caring kid. VERY sensitive and empathic, he will cry at sad films and be upset for a while after them, e.g when bambi’s mom died.

    54
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    Mute hjGfIgAq
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    Apr 13th 2015, 8:04 AM

    Hi Lily,

    Thanks for sharing. I’ll add your question to the list.

    Michelle

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    Mute windbag
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:27 PM

    Omg Lily…….my son is exact same …..I was just about to ask same thing …..Cry’s for apparently no reason and complains of stomach ache which we brought to doctors attention but nothing medically wrong…..says he dosent want to go anywhere or do anything but when we bring him he has a ball….He cryed last night because he’s back in school today after Easter break and when we go to collect Hom he comes out skipping and laughing……..so glad to hear the same thing off another parent….

    31
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    Mute David Hogan
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:16 AM

    I hear a thing called tolerance along with as mentioned one of those milk banks could assist them a lot or maybe a commercially available product? Cow and gate, etc they must be so happy to have such a thoughtful friend?

    61
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    Mute John Hayes
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    Apr 12th 2015, 11:21 PM

    I’ve a lad who’ll be 5 in august. Loves treats. But I cut them out when he won’t eat his dinner. Problem IS dinner. Can’t get him to eat his veg and pussy foots around his meat now too. He’s not spoilt with treats in fairness it’s the main meals are the problem. We’ve a soon 2 year old who’d eat you if ya stood still long enough. Why won’t he eat his proper meals.

    45
    Baz
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    Mute Baz
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:08 AM

    Are you all sitting together at a table? I found the best thing was to make it a family occasion to eat. No one leaves table till every plate is finished. Start off with small portions and reward when the plate is clean. Gradually increase portion size.

    65
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    Mute Lylucifer
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:30 AM

    He’s just trying saying “no” to things. It’s a phase, give something with dinner you know he hates, let him say no to that but must eat the rest!

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    Mute TheLoneHurler
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:56 AM

    Well said Baz, worked a treat in this house.

    19
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    Mute John Hayes
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    Apr 13th 2015, 6:20 AM

    Yep Baz all 4 if us at the table. And he’s portions have been really reduced.

    10
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    Mute hjGfIgAq
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    Apr 13th 2015, 8:20 AM

    Hi John,

    Thanks for your question, I’ll add it to the list and hopefully I’ll get to ask Colman about it tomorrow.

    Michelle

    11
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    Mute Jeanette A Mcdonald
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    Apr 13th 2015, 5:27 PM

    John, how about getting him onvoved with making dinner, or setting table and handing out the meals. My little boy is nearly 5 and we have waiter service! He gets his Spider-Man apron on makes a pretend list of who’s having what! ‘Really helped. As did naming things with funny names (batman spaghetti, curly surly curry etc!)

    10
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    Mute John Hayes
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    Apr 13th 2015, 6:38 PM

    Honestly Jeanette we’ve tried everything at me wits end with him. He’s a great lad very intelligent and thriving. But whatever trick we try it’s absolute hardship trying to get him to eat.

    3
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    Mute Jeanette A Mcdonald
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    Apr 13th 2015, 8:23 PM

    I feel your pain john. It’s bloody stressful when they won’t eat.

    3
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    Mute Helen
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    Apr 14th 2015, 9:38 AM

    Maybe try not to make too much of a fuss about it John. Kids pick up very quickly on things mam or dad are stressing about and can play on it for attention! Some children are just fussy eaters, I was one myself! I would be inclined to give him same food as rest of family and not comment on how much/little he has eaten! If you’re worried about nutrition you could try smoothies, can hide anything in them!

    1
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    Mute TheLoneHurler
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    Apr 13th 2015, 12:58 AM

    Always remember that in the vast majority of cases our children are born blank canvases and it’s we the parents paint the picture.

    42
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    Mute Gwen Denny
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    Apr 13th 2015, 10:29 AM

    @ the lone hurler . That’s what frightens me in my case

    16
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    Mute Sinead
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    Apr 13th 2015, 11:05 AM

    Actually no children are born with different temperaments and upbringing only contributes to 10% of their personality! Now that’s scary!

    19
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    Mute Gwen Denny
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    Apr 13th 2015, 10:25 AM

    Since I’ve started minding children my little girl is very jealous and whiny and just seems sad all the time . I watch her in the school yard and she often is wandering around on her own but when I ask her is she lonely she says no . She often says no one cares about her and no one likes her which I know she is saying to hurt and believe me it breaks my heart . I love her with all my being and we need the money or I would give up minding the kids . I am so worried about her , she is only 5 and I have depression and anxiety and am absolutely petrified that I’m somehow rubbing off on her even though I try 200% to be happy around her and do stuff with her . She actually keeps me alive . Please please help so I don’t ruin her little life and get her to a confident little girl

    24
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    Mute hjGfIgAq
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    Apr 13th 2015, 3:27 PM

    Hi Gwen,

    Thanks a lot for your comment and I’ll add that to the list too.

    If you can’t watch live tomorrow we’ll have the video up on the site afterwards so you can look back.

    Michelle

    8
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    Mute Barbara Skehill
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    Apr 14th 2015, 8:37 AM

    Gwen my heart broke for you when I read your comment. I hope you get some answers from the expert but I just wanted to let you know that I think most children say those things from time to time. Myself and my mother’s group were discussing this the other day and saying how our children know how to get a reaction from us. One mother can remember saying these things to her own mom and her reason behind it was for attention, even though she had (and has) a wonderful relationship with her.

    I think because you have depression, you are very worried that you are the cause of these things in your child but that is almost certainly not the case. Nearly all of my friends have experience of this. You can feel the love you clearly have for your little girl coming through your post. I’m sure you’re doing a great job. Hang in there.

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    Mute Gwen Denny
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    Apr 14th 2015, 9:06 AM

    Barbara thank you so very much for taking the time to write your comment and reassure me . The worry I feel is overwhelming and my hubby just tells me it’s only a phase , she is the most well mannered empathetic little girl and I am terrified I will destroy her . Thank you for making me feel a bit better , you are very kind x x

    9
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    Mute cníchi
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    Apr 14th 2015, 9:36 AM

    Hi Gwen. I think if you work on boosting your own self confidence, in turn it will impact positively on your wee girl. Sounds like you are doing a great job. Children are great at making us feel guilty, sometimes we just have to be matter of fact with them, “mammy loves you very much and minding other people’s children is just a job”. Maybe you could work on a special project with your child, like making a family scrapbook/storybook or photo album that you can share together on your own time . Remember, today you are here and today you are doing your best! Lighten up on yourself because guilt can eat you up and you’ve nothing to feel guilty about. You’re a working mother, you should be proud of yourself and you are being a good role model for your child!

    7
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    Mute Gwen Denny
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    Apr 14th 2015, 10:47 AM

    Cnichi. Thank you for your kind words . Kids definitely know how to hit you where it hurts . She is my absolute world and can’t bear it when the lip starts quivering . I tell her all the time I love her and she is beautiful and we always make sat mine and her day and sun family day . I think I just overthink things . Thanks a million for replying and taking the time to be so caring to a stranger x

    5
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    Mute Donnachaín Ní Uallacháin
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    Apr 13th 2015, 5:20 PM

    So what about the poor kids who are being raised by a single parent or the ones who have a parent die?
    Would you foster them out to married couples? Or perhaps let nuns and priests bring them up like we did before and we all know how that worked out.

    18
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    Mute Katrina Fielding
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    Apr 13th 2015, 9:42 AM

    Be careful of milk banks where you pay for milk. I recently read an article where it said breastmilk was being topped up with cow’s milk or formula. Best to try find someone who will give it free!

    15
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    Mute Mr. Cunniffe
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    Apr 13th 2015, 3:51 PM

    Potty training :
    What age to start?
    What is the best approach to this? Should it be the plastic inserts over an actual toilet or separate bowl type potty’s?

    Ah the joys of parenthood!

    11
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    Mute Evelyn Hughes
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    Apr 13th 2015, 4:08 PM

    I left it as late as possible! The summer before playschool. U don’t get a medal for potty training a one year old! Leave a potty ‘around’ from age 2 and obviously he/she will see u using the toilet so they’ll know how it’s done. Once u begin plan a week at home with lots of pants and patience. They may master the wee long before the poo, I remember putting a nappy on mine to poo because he just wouldn’t go and then they’ll get constipated and u don’t want that! Also I left night on I’d say a year after they were dry in the day.
    It all works out – u don’t see kids going to school in nappies – good luck

    8
    Lily
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    Mute Lily
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    Apr 13th 2015, 8:01 PM

    I had one potty trained at 18 months (she suffered from constipation so I knew when she was going on put her on the loo)

    The other two were 3 1/2 and 3 1/4 years. The boys were lazy… I did start both when they were two they weren’t interested do left it a couple of months and still didn’t work and the months went by. Then overnight it all changed.

    5
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    Mute Elaine Proctor
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    Apr 13th 2015, 9:06 PM

    Hi. What do you do when your child is partially deaf and wears hearing aids. None of the usual techniques and tips work and there is no support for general day to day parenting like sleep time, meal time, treats and tech time. Sleep time is the worst as he will have his hearing aids off so I can’t just give single sentence instructions or lull him quietly to sleep. Any suggestions? Will this even make the list?

    6
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    Mute David
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    Apr 13th 2015, 3:44 PM

    I have a little 4 year old who goes absolutely besek when we try and give her a bath or shower. Says she wants to be dirty and acuses us of hurting her. Any ideas

    6
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    Mute Mr. Cunniffe
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    Apr 13th 2015, 3:56 PM

    Hi David, our 2 year old used hate bath time so we started swimming and now with loads of play balls added bath time has become fun time. Plus we brought the temp of the water down a few degrees.
    Its worth trying.

    8
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    Mute Suzie Sunsine
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    Apr 13th 2015, 5:16 PM

    David it may also a sensory issue too .

    3
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    Mute Evelyn Hughes
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    Apr 13th 2015, 4:00 PM

    Sorry for lack of techno sense but how do I ‘tune in’?

    4
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    Mute Michelle Hennessy
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    Apr 13th 2015, 7:34 PM

    Hi Evelyn,

    There will be an article with a live video stream in it on the site tomorrow at 2.30pm. If you’re not free to watch it then, you can watch the video back later in the day too.

    Thanks,
    Michelle

    2
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    Mute John Ferry
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    Apr 13th 2015, 3:35 PM

    Yes
    It is thoughtful of me to think of the childs best interests above all else.
    A lot if other people seem to be thinking of themselves first.

    A lttle bit of reality in an often slewed manipulated debate.

    2
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    Mute John Ferry
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    Apr 13th 2015, 4:06 PM

    David hogan
    There is tolerance and there is reality
    Tolerance in this instance is a balancing act with competing interest.
    The interest of innocent children who have no say or voice

    And the interests of a very vocal.minority who cant seem to accept that men amd women are different and thats up to themselves but when they bring in an inmocent 3rd party like a child
    I am.entitles to state my opinion.
    You may disageee with it
    I may disagree with uours
    Wheres the intolerance. .i juat havw a different opinion.
    Of course this is the usual loony left ploy call every one elae intolerant.
    Women amd mem.aee different
    Thats reality
    Its is not intolerant to state this

    1
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