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50 Shades of Hook

An essential history of George Hook’s career as an erotic novelist

Ireland is not ready for this, George.

PEOPLE OF IRELAND, prepare yourselves – George Hook wants to write an erotic novel.

Yes. This man wants to write a sexy story for you.


Speaking with Today FM’s Anton Savage this morning, Hook revealed he has written around a quarter of the book so far.

But will the finished product be comparable to EL James’ Fifty Shades of Grey series? He said:

This book is more Tolstoy than EL James. First of all it’s well written – it has full stops, commas, and paragraphs.
Fifty Shades appeals to all the secret longings of middle aged housewives. [My book] will cater to the middle-aged men who have said, “Oh shoot, this is all the stuff I missed out on on Leeson Street.”

On his own show on Newstalk yesterday, the broadcaster said the plot involves a young Polish girl who was “despoiled” by four German soldiers during WWII. Grim.

But this isn’t the first time Hooky has flirted with the idea of writing an erotic novel – oh no.

The Late Late Show / YouTube

According to the Irish Independent, he wrote ten chapters of a chick-lit book back in 2007, for the RTÉ show Arts Lives.

The book, called Slav For Love, chronicled the adventures of a ‘Polish blonde’ (we’re sensing a theme here) who moved to Dublin to be a novelist. Somehow, she ends up “brain-damaged, beaten up and shipped to the Middle East”. Grim.

He described his heroine thus:

Having screwed her way across Ireland, the heroine finds her redemption with Mr Right. She’s gorgeous, she’s clever, tough as nails, with a wonderful chest. She’s the kind of woman I’ve always wanted to fall in love with.

This leading lady has distinct similarities to Hooky’s longtime crush, Pamela Anderson, no?

MAC AIDS FUND VIVA GLAM PARTY Graham Hughes / Photocall Ireland Graham Hughes / Photocall Ireland / Photocall Ireland

We await the publication of Hook’s erotic novel with baited breath. Just when we thought we’d gotten over Alan Shatter’s Laura, eh?

Written by Valerie Loftus and originally published on

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