'Your own party have urinated all over this house': The not-so-serious 2013 political awards

They all take themselves way too seriously in Leinster House. So here’s a bit of light relief from the year that was…

THERE ARE LOTS of serious things that happen in Leinster House and the political world, but there is also a lot of daft stuff that goes on on a weekly basis.

With that in mind it’s important to remember that when they’re not deciding and voting on important pieces of legislation or debating matters of State our politicians are up to all sorts, some of it good, some of it bad, some of it just kind of silly.

So here are our not-so-serious political awards for this year…

Most entertaining Dáil exchange

“You’re like Murphy’s cow with two dry tits, one blind tit and a sup of milk in the other tit.”

Never have there been so many mentions of ‘tit’ in one Dáil exchange than when Mattie McGrath and Pat Rabbitte locked horns (cow? bull? horns? geddit!?) over electricity pylons:

The ‘Michael McDowell He Hasn’t Gone Away You Know’ Award

The former justice minister was back in fighting form for the Seanad referendum with his shouty voice, his pointy finger, and his massive, massive… Constitution:

The ‘Speaking Out of Their Fanny’ Award

Senator David Norris really should have known better:

The ‘Pat Rabbitte Pirouetting on the Plinth’ Award

Colm Keaveney went all the way from Labour to independence to Fianna Fáil, leaving Micheál Martin struggling to keep a straight face (see video below) and Rabbitte himself claiming that the Galway East TD might even join Hezbollah.

The ‘Richard Boyd-Barrett Roaring and Shouting’ Award

No one quite takes flight, in physical and vocal terms, like the People Before Profit TD:

The ‘Peter Mathews Long-Windedness’ Award

Why say something in one minute, when you can say it in 10? Peter Mathews really doesn’t know how to keep to the clock:

We know how Charlie McConalogue feels. Here he is listening to Mathews in the Dáil:

Most Honest Attempt at Getting ‘Down with the Kids’

Aengus Ó Snodaigh really did cause a storm with these remarks:

The ‘Pronsias de Rossa Beard of the Year’

This was real toughie with Eoghan Murphy putting in a strong showing:

While his coalition backbench colleague Arthur Spring also has a fine looking thing:

Both, we understand, have now shed their beards but they can both share the award this year.

The ‘Willie O’Dea ‘Tache of the Year’

Glorious work from the Fine Gael TD Brendan Griffin during the month of November. Nothing else comes close:

The ‘Mick Wallace Sartorial Elegance’ Award

He can’t manage his tax affairs very well, but Mick Wallace sure can rock a Torino shirt like no other deputy:

Most entertaining Seán Barrett outburst

The Ceann Comhairle is now renowned for his displeasure at TDs’ behaviour during Dáil debates and particularly in and around Leaders’ Questions.

This outburst was particularly entertaining:

The ‘WTF does the Seanad Do Anyway?’ Award

These two moments can’t be separated…

“I’m sorry – purely on a point of information, I’m totally confused.”

“The Taoiseach and your own party have urinated all over this house.”

The ‘Best Equipped to Take Flight from the Dáil Chamber’ Award

Those shortsleeves on Michael Healy-Rae could do some serious damage:

Best Buzz in Leinster House

The debate on the DNA Database Bill was exceptionally boring until this happened:

Pics: Photocall Ireland/Eoghan Murphy Twitter/Oireachtas TV. Gifs: Nicky Ryan/Oireachtas TV