Sign in. It’s quick, free and it’s up to you.
An account is an optional way to support the work we do. Find out more.
Fionn Hamill is a 12-year-old boy who has Asperger’s Syndrome. Fionn says that he understands the condition he has and that he is just “wired differently”. This is why he says he wants to be an advocate for autism, so he can help the world understand how it looks through his eyes. Here he explains why he likes to be different…
When I was really young I didn’t understand other children and I hated big crowds like family events or football matches. Mum explained to me that I was wired differently, that it wasn’t a bad thing. She said that I could just do things differently, but I would still get everything done. And she told me that what I had was called Asperger’s.
I learned to enjoy my Asperger’s. When people call ASD an autistic spectrum disorder or a disability, I don’t like it . It doesn’t make me any less capable to do anything. Asperger’s lets me look at things from a totally different perspective – I can think outside the box. It makes the world kind of complicated and you have to keep figuring other people out.
When people say smile, I don’t quite get them. I didn’t used to get sarcasm and I used to have to question when I heard it, like “was that it?” When teachers tell me to answer the question on the board – and there is no question mark – I wouldn’t understand. Sometimes teachers need to explain more to me than they do usually. Sometimes when people say something and they mean something else, that’s confusing.
It really confuses me if someone shouts at me – I used to think that meant that they hated me. But now I realise it’s just that they want me to do it a bit better at that time. I get confused when a class gets a punishment because I think I am a good child and if I wasn’t doing the wrong thing, why should I get punished?
I don’t get racism. I would never be racist but I don’t understand why you can’t say what colour somebody’s skin is, the way you can with their eyes. Another thing I find confusing is emotions. I made up a word “emotious” and I use it to describe when lots of different emotions are all stirred in together.
For instance, if I am watching something like Les Miserables, I need to be able to chat with mum to tell the emotions apart. I often have to be careful about what I say. Before I say something I often say “no offence” in case I do offend someone. When I was little I never used to get jokes, but now I have a good sense of humour – I love sitcoms like Father Ted, Miranda, Spongebob and Mrs Brown’s Boys (but it can be rude).
People with Asperger’s are very sensitive with all their senses. I call it “sensatious” when there is a really strong sensation. Certain things can bother me, like I used to hate sound of the crowd roaring at a football game so I would cover my ears and scream. My parents kept bringing me and now I don’t notice the noise and I roar too! I also hate the feel of baked beans. If there is one in my food it makes me actually get sick. I don’t like the feel of some clothes fabrics. I always like cottony ones and I’m really sensitive to smells. I can’t deal with the smell of anything agricultural or anything to do with a farm.
There are lots of other things that can bother me like the smell of cigarettes, babies’ drool (I don’t really like babies until they are a bit more mature and have dried up).
I often can’t sit still, so at home I’m allowed play a ball and hit it against a wall to work off steam. In bad weather, I like to spin around like mad a few times which I call helicoptering.
When I feel nervous, ‘emotious”‘ sad or a bit hyper I need, what I call a ‘squish’. A squish means Mum gets me in really tight hug and squeezes – it’s a bit like Temple Grandin’s hug-machine. It really settles me down. In school when I need a squish I do things like roll up my sleeves or tighten my shoelaces.
I find it difficult trust people or new things. I know my autism makes me do whacky things and we get a laugh out of them, but I can do a normal things too. Overall, I like being different. My friends like me just the way I am too. I like the world through Asperger’s eyes.
When you get older, you can see that everybody is different somehow, that’s what makes the world interesting. I keep on learning at every new stage of my life. My Mum says she can read me like a book, and I say I use her like an encyclopaedia.
It works out good.
Fionn Hamill is 12-years-old and writes a blog called autisticandproud.
To embed this post, copy the code below on your site
Fantastic article- really informative and really well written
thankyou! .
am Fionns mam…
he has super self awareness
and is a great advocate for Aspergers!
Helen
make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Well done Fionn. You should be very proud of yourself. Very well written article and a lot of other cool guys with Asperger’s are very impressed.
We all need a good squish sometimes! :D
David Byrne from Talking Heads has/is asbergers and he is easily the most innovative modern composer performer this century. I’ve met him, a couple of beers after outrageous gig, nothing is lost….lots gained. People are all sorts of different.
i even love his wee word,,,,” mum, giz a squish” is a regular demand…and i love it!
Helen
What an intelligent and comical young man! Your mum must be SO proud of you
i am….every day!
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Fantastically written – people will laugh at him because he is different , he will laugh at us because we are all the same.
There is no them and us, we are all the same. We’re just ‘wired a little different’. Well done Fionn. When autistic people are accepted as a normal part of our society in the future, it will be because of the efforts of people like you. I hadn’t heard of your blog before today but I will be becoming an avid reader. I think through you we can make giant leaps in our understanding of autism.(I have a six year old daughter with autism and she is definitely wired differently, and I wouldn’t have it any other way).
Hi John, re O.T. Advance Therapy Systems Dundalk – just opened also in Santry. Brilliant place. (You had mentioned difficulties re sourcing O.T. on another forum).
i think Fionn’s insight is that we are all different in some way!
Be it brown eyes, a curved finger or Aspergers.
He tells people about it, and LOVES how it makes him.
but the wisdom is IN that realisation that difference is what makes the world interesting :)
Helen
(his mum)
heart warming article, how proud his mother must be.
she is…always!
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Fionn, that was such a super article! For a boy who said he didn’t always understand emotions, you have lessons to offer those of us not gifted with your perspective on the world. I think the world would be a better place if everyone understood when they needed a squish or felt a bit emotious (I hope I’ve used this right!). You’ve opened my eyes a lot – long may you continue sharing your story.
Thankyou on Fionn’s behalf.
He has learned emotions, empathy and a very dry sense of humour…and best of all,, how to laugh at himself :)
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
I was diagnosed last year at the age of 28 and suddenly everything made sense. I’m still working through different stratagies and skills, but it has been a huge boon knowing.
I have found loads of blogs and articles on line to help me.
It even got me a job…….
Good article, keep it up and you will have a bright future.
i am Fionn’s mum.
i advised a friend last week to tell her son very simply that he had Asperger’s….she had worried for so long.
His answer was…” i KNOW. I am different, not stupid!”
I think when you understand yourself it all helps!
well done for the 28 years of confusion!!
H
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Hi Fionns mum,
would you add a blog to your links please?
It may help others?
i do add a section on Fionn’s page on “our observations on Fionn” and update it regulary as we navigate through school and life generally :)
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
you have blogger attention already Helen: http://theaspyjounrey.blogspot.co.uk/
I read it often and it just posted about you.
I have Aspergers as well. The thing I find difficult is making friends. I send people I dont know friends requests and the reply I get is “Do I Know you?”. I tell them I”m trying to make friends and they couldnt be bothered. It can be frustrating sometimes. They think I’m some kind of weirdo. Which I’m not.
Facebook is not the place to make real friends. There should be groups in your area that will help you overcome your problem. We all need friends and I am sure there are people out there who want to become yours, but you have got to stop believing that you are different. You are not. Good luck.
Beautifully written article. Bravo!
he would analyse the reasons on you AVI…and love that :)
Helen
(his mum)
Brilliant. Too easy for us to think that there is something ‘wrong’ with people who don’t fit into the mainstream idea of what is ‘normal’, about time we started to expand our concept of what normal is. Children and adults with disabilities are just different, there is nothing wrong with them. Lets stop limiting people with labels and let them have the confidence to be who they are. I hate using the word ‘let’ as it presumes superiority, I have no right to contain a person within ‘normal’ parameters.
as Fionn says its just how he is wired…he gets there in the end!
he hates people calling it a disability, or a disorder…he calls it his difference.
And he sees differences in everyone!
H
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Ahh fantastic article. His parents must be so proud.
we really are…daily!
:)
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Lovely article. Thanks to Fionn for sharing his feelings & thoughts with us and to the Journal for publishing it.
Thank you
Its a great insight to others with Aspergers, people working with Aspergers…and to us as his parents too!
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Love this! Couldn’t have come at a better time! We are going through the assessment process with my 6 1/2 year old. Thanks, Fionn – you’re wonderful in all the many ways you are unique! I’ll be an avid follower of your blog! Love to your mom too – the two of you are an inspiration to those of us starting out new with this.
am reallydelighted.
I had friends who sympathised with me when we got Fionn’s diagnosis…as if it were terminal illness..
it makes for life by the scenic route.
but i would NOT change him for the world!
Let your son understand himself early…he will be fine!
Hx
Super article.
thankyou
Helen
Great article.
thankyou!
Helen
My son has aspergers and his nick name is squishy ! He would often when he was younger ask for a squish. He comments in public sometimes if someone looks different but only because he thinks it fantastic. He ran after a dwarf r little person ( pc?) one day to say ” hey look at you, your the same size as me and you’re big, how fantastic !” The guy thought it was hilarious but his companion was disgusted with the attention and shot me daggers look. Their honesty can be refreshing they just don’t play the twisted social game.
love it.
its a very direct view of the world.
he doesn’t understand political correctness or racism….difference is just a fact!
in many ways wouldn’t the world be a better place if we could all take a leaf out of the book?
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Such a great article. Informative and funny and really explains his feelings. I work with children and it really helps to have read this. Love the words “sensatious” and “emotious”… Hope I got them right.
i love those words too…they say so much!
He has a lot of things much better explained than any theory book.
He is our expert -by-experience :)
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
A great article Fionn I really enjoyed it.
Thankyou.
he writes life as it is!
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
How can people red thumb these comments? They are sad!
Yea. Who knows why a positive comment gets a red thumb. I don’t get it.
Gillian best put it down to to ease of hitting wrong button alas in my own experience the ignorance of people when faced with autism is quite disturbing
well just to tell you it wouldn’t bother Fionn, he would think they just don’t get it!
lol
He is happy as Larry in his own skin.
And wouldn;t wish life was different!
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
iPhone users one finger flicking hit the red button by accident. Nothing evil intended
As an early years educator who has recently been blessed with the addition of a child who has Aspergers I was struggling as a Carer to help him settle and understand him. This article has been of great value to me and a real interesting read. I will definitely be following the blog :)
brilliant.
i have spoken to a lot of aspergers adults who wished they had diarised early years as they can relate to it so much.
He looks on Aspergers as a gift.
So do we :)
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Great article!
:)
What a great young fella.
he really is!
Helen
(but as his mum am a tad biased!)
Being somewhere along the old spectrum myself, I also find it difficult sometimes to fit in with the neurotypicals! But they aren’t all bad :-)
he studies people Mike, and is glad of how HE is :)
with his outside the box view…
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
What an intuitive and intelligent young man. A lot of people could learn from him. Best of luck in all you do Fionn
Thankyou Kerrie
Helen
(mum)
Brilliant article. thanks for sharing your story with us Fionn.
thanks again Ferg.
Helen
i am 60yrs of age and have aspergers, i feel different but it too decades to be diagnosed. i led a long life of quiet despair and now i am very disabled physically. i am glad that Fionn has the awareness that i could have done with at his age, well done on the article, wonderfully put and continue to express yourself as different, you do it well and actually, i too wonder why we cannot say it as it is. I have Asperger – so what?
Ann,
how well you did to navigate the world with no diagnosis, understanding, or assistance.
i think the real disability in Asperger’s is in other people’s ignorance!
Helen
Fionn’s mum
Really inspiring, fantastic – GO FIONN! I work with children with Various difficulties and will remember this article in future. Will definitely follow the blog too! Thanks Fionn
please do!
his aim was always to help people understand life as he sees it…warts and all.
He is a VERY happy child!
Helen
Excellent article, well done!!!
Great positive story for once! Well done lad.
While I really like this, and give much praise to this wonderful young man. For some Autism is a disability. My son has severe classic autism and struggles with communication, going to the bathroom and basic day to day activities. While I love your attitude, remember there is a wide range on the spectrum and for some it means a huge struggle to achieve any level of independence.
I wasn’t meaning to take away from this wonderful boy. Just don’t want children like my son to be lost in the discussion.
As far as I understand it the “spectrum” is so wide as to make no sense.
More makey upy DSM labels
Well said Fionn. So proud of you xx
Thanks cous xx
Sounds like a lovely place you are in Fionn, us “normal ones” could learn a lot from you. Great article. PS it’s not a question without a ?, it’s a statement.
loved that bit….as his mum and an ex teacher, who probably NEVER did question marks :)
its all in the detail he notices !
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Fantastic article! Going through the assessment process with my 5 year old son at the moment, and it’s given me more insight than many of the “factual” articles on the web! Well done Fionn and Helen :)
Tracey, the theoretical experts will diagnose your son.
The real experts will be you and himself who will constantly be looking for ways to work though school, to help teachers help him learn, to have the interest to make him your wee work of art…ongoing.
(as you would for ANY of your children!)
Helen
As one of the elderly ladies I work with is fond of saying “it takes all sorts to make a world”. I for one am glad of this, all the people I have met who had Aspergers have helped me to see things in new ways, as no doubt Fionn will for all those lucky enough to get to know him.
Someone said it here before but it shouldn’t be called a disability, because it’s different ability – something to be embraced..
thankyou!
H
My brother is 13 and is an Aspie and he is loving,caring and has a wicked sense of humour I loved reading this and laughed out loud at some parts as it seemed so much like my brother:-)
i love the bit about babies…when they dry up :)
Articles like these are why I read the journal. It is refreshing to report on a topic like this. I have always found that people who are not open to diversity are the ones that actually lose out in the end. Difference brings variety and learning. When reading the article I couldn’t believe it was written by a 12 year old. Well done Fionn and his parents, keep up the good work!
Thankyou Alison.
He puts it on paper as he says it.
we have always talked openly and need to…about how life is, and we discuss options…
he is so self aware now.
so far so happy…
H
This article was fantastic. I work in the special needs area with children and it’s articles like these that should be published in college books. I also volunteer with a group called surf2heal, we bring children on all levels of the spectrum surfing, it’s fully volunteer run with no funding and I can genuinely say we get as much, if not more, out of it than the kids. These kids are amazing, if the world could be as honest and open as children with aspergers and autism are-it would be a much better place. Thank you!!
i agree with you!.
The only real experts on conditions like asperger’s are the people who live with it.
and i suppose that was an aim in our starting the blog, as so many depend on information being handed over…but it isn’t . you know what your child needs, and as a mum, you try to help him get there.
H
Very intelligent article ! I was diagnosed in August last year also. I have been unknowingly living with aspergers for 33 years. I don’t know if many people know but the likes of Bill Gates, Bob Dylan, Abraham Lincoln, Robin Williams among many others were thought to have aspergers too and look what they achieved in their lifetime. People with aspergers may be different but in their own unique way. I’m beginning to look on my aspergers as a gift which I will use to my benefit. It certainly makes me be more creative. Yes we have to work harder at social interaction but having a diagnosis is the best thing that happened to me as it put things in perspective and helped me to move on with my life. The future is looking bright in my eyes. It’s great that Fionn has been diagnosed so early in his young life as he can take full advantage of his gift from an early age. Well done
it is a huge advantage for Fionn to have his label to explain difficulties that you would have had to work your way through.
It is a great strength understanding why things do challenge you, and a step on the way to challenging your instinctive easy opt out.
I have so much admiration for the mutitude of people – MANY geniuses who used and focused their strengths to make the world a better place….with NO explanation of how or why they found crowds difficult, liked space etc.
I hope fionn helps parents of new diagnosed children to see, it is NOT a terminal condition , but an outside the box view on life!
Helen
Fantastic article, beautifully written and articulate. Great insight from a very switched on young man.
he really is.
so far so good
Helen
Great attitude to have. Very insightful. Going to check out the blog now!
thankyou Emma!
@flopflip. A true Arse hole!
What a lovely child, he must have a great Mum to give him such a good insight into his life……
am afraid i can only give him the theory.
And he has the insight himself.
He is determined to go to the pub with friends at 18…so we work to make him as socially aware as we can :)
no text books…just intuition
Helen
Well done Fionn!! Helen you must b sooooo proud :)
I am.
every day.
wouldnt change him for the world!
Hx
please make sure to follow blog!
autisticandproud.wordpress.com
Helen
Well Fionn you seem like an awesome kid,who is gonna be an awesome adult,loved the article and love the blog.
thankyou – he is awesome :)
Helen
(his mum)
Thank you for the reply,i hope he knows he is is a lucky kid with a great mum behind him.Will follow his blog thanks!
What a fab boy . People who think differently make the world a much more interesting place . Life is not a one size fits all !!
he is really observant about other people’s differences…it fascinates him.
and i love his understanding of how he is!
Asberger,s and people who have it can have a destructive attitude in dealing with reality and can cause real problems to people,s lives as they grow older, they don’t mean to do it but they are black and white and are have nonsense of humour
FlopFlipU It is Asperger, the rest of your article is too ignorant to comment on.
It’s people like you that have a problem not these gifted beautiful young people, the world would be a better place for us all if we accepted people for who they are not stereotyped, Autism has only really been recognised in society the last few years and for those who suffered and struggled for so many years can now accept that their just a little more quirky and may have a few more obstacles to get around but looking at my nephew who has autism I’m telling he could teach us a thing or two about life, he is fantastic young child who is so talented and gifted and takes everyone at face value.
And you need educating….in many many ways
i feel sorry that you have this view,
i feel that as Fionn’s mum, the disability in autism, is the limited and ignorant view of people wanting us to be “all the same”
i think that difference is what we depend on.
We would have NO GENIUS without weird fascinations…
Wouldn’t change my son, for anything.
hope for your sake you learn to appreciate diversity.
Helen
oh and forgot to mention, he has a really good sense of humour.
empathy
and tolerance
all which will make him a positive person.:)
H
FlipFlop, while you’re somewhat accurate in your statement ( the destructive and reality part), I would argue that it’s not due to Aspergers – it’s due to not understanding what Aspergers actually is. Most often the people who are destructive (both in their own and other people’s lives) and have difficulty with reality (you say difficulty with reality, I say coping with knowing you’re different but not knowing what the difference is) are those who remain undiagnosed until much later in life, and grow up – as has been described here much better than I’ll ever manage – just knowing something is different but not being able to put words on it.
As regards the sense of humour – I’ve yet to meet a person with identified Aspergers who doesn’t have a very good (usually dry) sense of humour!
If black and white is how Fionn sees the world, I’ll have no problem seeing things in black and white – give me black and white any day.
A wonderful column, insightful, informative, useful on so many levels, for those with and without Aspergers – an uplifting view of the world – just awe inspiring — well done to Fionn and Co!
Well done young man – a wonderful article! My brother who is in his 20′s also has Aspergers and had many similar feelings growing up. You are very talented and will excel no matter what you do in life. The very best of luck to you xx
Thanks Noreen.
He is finding his strengths and has had so much support on his blog, he is determined to try to keep explaining life from his view.
Helen
(his mum)
U go Fionn, amazing lil man
Lisa he is exactly that!.
Can’t wait til he sees all these comments tomorrow :)
Helen
I’ve worked with various young people labeled with various autistic spectrums over the years. Each of them educated me in different ways. That was never an expectation but definately a nice gift. Years later I hope they are doing well and still teaching :)
thats exactly what asperger’s does.
it brings out the creative thinker in you to work with them – to see ways of helping them process.
and each one is so unique…so we never remain stuck to one way of thinking with Fionn
Helen
Wow.
It’s wonderful to hear about the specific likes and dislikes of one individual human being on planet earth.
As for me:
I love the song “Clowne Towne” by Xiu Xiu but the song “See You” by The History of Apple Pie doesn’t do much for me.
I like men between the age of 50 and 60 wearing beige slacks and glasses with receding hairlines and hairy arms.
Women between the age of 35 and 42 don’t really interest me.
I don’t really like crowds or loud music in public places.
lots of uneducated fools on this thread some people cant jus take an article and show positive support all the red thumbs are disgracefull and show that we live in a society where people can run down a good story jus for the sake of it
I was just scrolling down through this mornings posts and decided to start with yours… Wow! Now I’m awash with positive feelings and can honestly say to myself “maybe there is hope afterall!?!” I sincerely hope that those that should read your post, do read it: I certainly needed to, and I’m glad I did – I’d just like to wish you the very best in the future and thank you so much!
I’m now going to log-out – the sun is shining outside, and I want to make the moment last…
I read this to Fionn….
he smiled widely, and said, “that is so nice”.
Thankyou.
helen
Well said Fionn.
why thankyou…you ould ejit :) x
Beautiful boy and lovely mum, my 7yr old has Asperger’s and I wouldn’t change him for t world! Only problem I have is other people’s ignorance!! Mostly due to lack of awareness
when Fionn was little , we used to say”I wouldn’t change you for the world, but i would change the world to fit you!”
and you do.
you educate the people he meets – they need to change- not your child.
Helen
Great article Fionn – you made me smile and you opened my mind a lot – off to the Blog now – cant wait for more :-)
Thankyou.
He explains just how he sees it.
His “label” has merely been an explanation, and a means of setting challenges…with the end product hopefully an independent life.
We have benefited hugely through having Fionn just as he is :)
Helen
Anyone who can say “I love the way I am” is blessed. Whether they have aspergers or not. It is a rare thing.
thankyou.
i agree completely.
that sense of comfort in your own skin – is brilliant
and hopefully stand him for a long time
Helen (mum)
Well done fionn a really well written and insightful article.
Thankyou on Fionn’s behalf
Excellent article educating, informative and humorous! Well done Fionn :)
Thankyou
(mum)
What a beautiful article, written by a beautiful boy. Also well to done to a great Mum!
the real credit goes to Fionn…
i can challenge, but he has to accept it :)
and he always does.
Helen
Hi Fionn
I am a mum of 4 children and 2 of them have aspergers. Thank you for your article I really enjoyed it and in my house we all enjoy a squish :)
Catherine
Good man Fionn !
What a life affirming article by a real young hero!
he is such a happy child.
please God it continues.
Helen
(mum)
Your a credit to your mum fionn!
am afraid he has brought out the creative thinker in me…
i can see routes for him – but he is the one who always accepts and rises to the challenges, Fiona.
Helen
What a beautiful article written by a beautiful boy. I love the simplicity of his thinking, we all have to figure out ways of dealing with different people and situations! Also well done to a great Mum!
i love working with Fionn, as I probably learn more than he does :)
H
THANKYOU…..
by Fionn
Thanks James.
and very well answered.
Asperger’s diagnosis is a starting point, with a lot of social learning ahead…not a prescription for life long narrow minded, no personality…its that extra thing where you have to learn “people” …it becomes an insight.
Helen
To Fionn , well done on a brilliant article , I will definitely be following your blog along with my 10year old son who also has Aspergers and is very similar to you. And Helen well done to you too on your support and understanding o how awesome your son is and congratulations on having such a fabulous son whenever anyone has sympathised with me since my sons diagnosis at 3 I simply say no u should congratulate me because my son is an awesome gift and I am truly blessed to have him in my life to teach me his honest , loving , insightful unbiased view of the world.
Well done to you both xxxx
Thankyou Mary,
It is such a gift.
MAKES FOR LIFE BY THE SCENIC ROUTE…but wouldn’t change the perspective it gives.
H
have your say