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LAST UPDATE | 20 Dec 2024
“Shame must change sides.”
WITH THESE WORDS, Gisèle Pelicot articulated the experience of the countless number of survivors of sexual violence who have suffered from judgement and blame being directed in entirely the wrong place. The responsibility and blame for sexual violence lies with the perpetrator and never the victim.
Gisèle is an exceptional person, and her victory is an enduring legacy that reaches far beyond the courtroom in Avignon. Her courage and determination have exposed outdated, victim-blaming attitudes to sexual violence not just in France but to a global audience.
At Dublin Rape Crisis Centre, we support clients and callers on the National Helpline who share with us their lived reality of being a victim of sexual violence. They often carry an intolerable weight of blame and shame for something that was never their fault.
They tell us how hard it was to speak to even one other person about what happened to them. Fewer than half of people in Ireland ever tell another soul about their experience and even fewer get psychological or medical support.
It really matters to other survivors when someone shares their story because it helps those who are searching for an experience like theirs, who need to hear they are not alone. Our recent ‘Signs of Hope’ campaign features a group of amazing victims and survivors sending powerful, resonant messages of hope and encouragement to others who might need it to seek support and healing.
We are grateful to them, and we also owe Gisèle a debt of gratitude and solidarity for bravely standing in the light and speaking her truth. Not everyone will speak publicly, and as Gisèle said outside the court, she shares the struggle of those ‘whose stories remain in the shadows’.
Yet, there are an increasing number of victims and survivors in Ireland who are speaking out and reinforcing that all the responsibility for sexual violence is on the person who inflicted that harm on them. Every survivor of sexual violence should do what’s right for them. Whatever their decision, Dublin Rape Crisis Centre will be there to support them on their healing journey.
Some people in this country may think that Gisèle Pelicot’s case is unusual and unique. They may think that such situations are rare here because Irish law clearly states that no-one can consent on behalf of another and that a person cannot consent when asleep or incapacitated due to intoxicants. However, from our work in the area of sexual consent, there is still a very long way to go before it is fully understood and practised by everyone in this country.
In France, a poor understanding of consent was evident in the denial of most defendants of the charge of rape against them. Some claimed that they thought they were participating in some kind of sexual fantasy, while others said they thought the husband’s consent was enough.
This belief can perhaps be linked to the definition of rape in French law as an act of sexual penetration committed on a person by violence, constraint, threat or surprise. It does not mention consent. Earlier this year, France was among the countries that blocked efforts to include a consent-based definition of rape in a new EU Directive to combat Violence Against Women.
The case also raised the important issue of drug-facilitated sexual assaults, which are all too common in Ireland, too. Data from Ireland’s Sexual Assault Treatment Units shows that the proportion of people using their services citing a concern that drugs and/or alcohol may have been used to facilitate a sexual assault or rape has risen from only 5% in 2010 to 21% in 2022.
Gisèle’s experience underscored fears amongst women that nowhere is safe, just as she hadn’t been in her own home, in her own bed. The reality is that most people know their assailant, and over a fifth of our therapy clients experienced sexual violence inside a relationship. Among people who use the medical services of the Sexual Assault Treatment Unit, 45% of assaults took place in either the victim or assailant’s home.
The message sent to girls from a young age is that the world is not a safe place for them and they must try to control this by limiting their own freedoms and behaviours – what they wear, how much they drink, who they mix with and how they get home. But no one but the perpetrator themselves is responsible for an act of sexual violence. All of us should have the expectation and the lived reality of a life free from such horror.
The responsibility for keeping women safe from violence by men cannot rest only with women. We have seen how these experiences — of Gisèle Pelicot in France, of Nikita Hand in Ireland, and of the many others who have spoken out worldwide — have united women and men in their rejection of victim-blaming and their determination to eliminate sexual violence.
Now we face a challenge to sustain momentum to achieve this goal. Dublin Rape Crisis Centre will continue to advocate and agitate for that end. But the reality is that it will take a whole-of-society shift in attitude and practice to make Ireland a safer and healthier place for everyone.
Until then, we stand in solidarity with all victims and survivors, and we are here for any person who has been affected by sexual violence of any form.
Rachel Morrogh is the Chief Executive of the Dublin Rape Crisis Centre. Free, confidential & non-judgmental support for any affected by sexual violence is on the 24-hour National Rape Crisis Helpline 1800 778888.
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