FOR ANYONE WHO might have missed the 2025 horror film Weapons, the beginning of Conan O’Brien’s Oscars monologue might have left you a little bit confused.

The host was clad in heavy white makeup, red lipstick and a red wig.

“I look like Bette Davis with lupus,” he said of his appearance upon looking in the vanity mirror. 

He was actually channelling Aunt Gladys from Weapons, who is played by Amy Madigan. She later scooped the Best Supporting Actress Oscar for the role. O’Brien thanked her for the wig.

In a further nod to the film, he was then chased through the streets by a gang of children. Spliced into the chase, of course, were clips from the various films that are nominated this year. 

I needed almost no makeup to play Aunt Gladys. #OSCARS pic.twitter.com/nBaxh7aZnP

— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 15, 2026

O’Brien took part in a ping pong match in Marty Supreme, ran across a staging of William Shakespeare’s Hamlet (from Hamnet) and got confused when trying to speak Norwegian with Stellan Skarsgård in Sentimental Value. 

Upon reaching Sinners, the vampire horror which features The Rocky Road to Dublin, O’Brien referenced both this and his Irish roots by belting out a few bars of Danny Boy. 

When he finally made it onto the stage, the host introduced himself with a dig at the rise of artificial intelligence (AI). 

“I’m Conan O’Brien, and I’m honoured to be the last human host of the Academy Awards.”

In a not-so-subtle dig at the Trump administration’s first year in office and the US war in Iran, O’Brien recalled that when he hosted the awards last year, Los Angeles was engulfed in flames due to the wildfires.

“But this year, everything’s going great!”

He also took a swipe at the negative reaction from Republicans in the US about Bad Bunny’s Superbowl performance and the ‘alternative’ half-time show that was organised in response to it by Turning Point USA. It was headlined by Trump fan Kid Rock.

“I should warn you, tonight could get political, okay? And if that makes you uncomfortable, there’s an alternate Oscars being hosted by Kid Rock. It’s at the Dave & Buster’s down the street.”

The Epstein Files also made it into the monologue – though not by name. O’Brien told the audience that this year’s ceremony was the first time since 2012 that there were no British actors nominated for Best Actor or Best Actress.

“A British spokesperson said ‘Yeah, but at least we arrest our paedophiles,” he said, in a veiled reference to Britain’s Andrew Mountbatten Windsor. The former prince has denied any wrongdoing over his Epstein links, but has not directly responded to the latest allegations.

Getting to the films, O’Brien poked fun at the reaction to Timothée Chalamet’s recent remarks about ballet and opera.

He said that security was extremely tight due to “concerns about attacks from both the opera and ballet communities”, adding: “They’re just mad you left out jazz.”

Coming to Hamnet, which stars Jessie Buckley, O’Brien said her character Agnes gives birth by herself in the woods. “Or as we call that here in America, affordable healthcare.”

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O’Brien did have a moment of seriousness, though. 

“Everyone watching right now around the world is all too aware that these are very chaotic, frightening times. It’s at moments like these that I believe the Oscars are particularly resonant,” he said. 

He said that 31 countries across six continents were represented at the awards show, adding: “Every film we salute is the product of thousands of people speaking different languages, working hard to make something of beauty.

We pay tribute tonight, not just to film, but to the ideals of global artistry, collaboration, patience, resilience, and that rarest of qualities today: optimism.

“Let us celebrate not because we hope all is well but that we work and hope for better in the days ahead.”

But he returned to humour before the ceremony got underway. In what was seemingly pop at how long it takes winners to get through their acceptance speeches, we got to see a supposed glimpse into what it would be like if O’Brien won an Oscar himself. 

Cue O’Brien in a crown and a cloak, a musical number from Josh Groban, a cameo from the Pope and a mountain that the host then climbed up before his Oscar was delivered to him by an eagle called Cicero.

“This is how all Oscars will be handed out tonight.”

Let’s hope not.