David Sneyd reports from the Azteca Stadium, Mexico City.

WITH A SLEIGHT of hand and a knowing smile, Gianni Infantino delivered his big reveal.

The black velvet cloak was removed and the World Cup trophy shone.

It has not found permanent residence in the Oval Office just yet.

The Fifa president began his pre-rehearsed spiel and the bombast was enough to make Donald Trump proud.

“I know there are other topics but let’s focus on the football for now,” Infantino said.

He said this World Cup would break records. He thanked the president of the United States for making it possible.

“And a big thank you to the fans, we don’t know how many exactly… but this will be the biggest, the best, the greatest. The biggest event probably in the history of mankind,” Infantino said.

Even Trump would blush.

“And six billion people will watch at home,” Infantino said, a brief pause allowing for the punchline.

“For free!”

Around this point, a blast of interference in the speakers that lined the media tent where the press conference was taking place halted proceedings.

“The air-conditioning?” Infantino wondered.

Perhaps, or maybe it was a crackle to signal the bullshit detector was up and running on the fringes of the Azteca Stadium.

“I would like to also thank those who are not participating in this World Cup. It is thanks to the work of all of those that we are here today.”

Prague PTSD was setting in, and the speakers continued to wheeze in reciprocal agony.

“We are in a part of the world that is blessed by the gods of football,” Infantino said, a nod to the wonder of Pele and Maradona.

As the minutes ticked by – five, 10, 15, 20 – still no questions were offered to the floor of journalists. Fifa said it was oversubscribed yet numerous empty seats were visible, all the while scores of journalists, The 42 among them, stood huddled around a perimeter peering in like zombie goons zooming in for photos and videos on smartphones.

“We are preparing for it to work seamlessly, without any problem… We cannot organise event of such magnitude in a perfect way.

“It’s true that we are confronted with challenges that we would rather not be confronted with,” Infantino said, a tentative acknowledgement of the numerous issues caused by the US administration

“Sometimes we can solve them and sometimes we cannot. We try to make the best of it.”

And this is Infantino in a nutshell, talking up Fifa’s achievements with one part of his tongue and just glad of the saliva on the other side to keep suckling on the udders of real power.

And then he laid out what he said were “the three topics coming up all the time in the last few weeks.

“Iran, tickets and visas.”

On the first topic, Infantino wondered who else could achieve what Fifa had by ensuring they would participate in the tournament.

On tickets, specifically the prices and Fifa’s own re-sale market, he said they “check what we do with the best lawyers and best experts; if we are doing something wrong, then everyone is doing something wrong”.

Infantino said he “welcomes” the Attorneys General of New York, New Jersey, Texas and California putting forward a joint investigation into Fifa’s ticketing and pricing practices.

“Every dollar goes back into football,” he said. “If we were like everyone else in football now, we would be selling rights for TV and then billions of people would not see for free.

“And tickets would end up on the black market.”

Infantino suggested Fifa could earn $30 billion (€26 billion) from TV deals, yet as he discussed the issue of Somalian referee Omar Artan having his visa revoked and turned away from Miami Airport, he was speaking like someone who used a dodgy box to try and save a few quid.

“It is unfortunate what happened to Omar. We can’t control everything. Maybe it’s good to just chill, to relax.”

Soon after, when some questions were taken from the floor, he clarified that attitude.

“Our world is a very aggressive world and security goes above everything. When I say to chill, I don’t mean to chill and do nothing. I mean to trust us

“There are things we know, things we don’t know, things we are told and are not told.

“We don’t live on the moon, we live on planet earth. We do our best… Human beings are good and not evil. We are deeply good and not evil. There are some that maybe are evil and maybe some that believe only bad news is news. I don’t think so. We went through it in Qatar.”

Maybe this was a catalyst in his own mind to make a subtle reference back to that infamous speech on the eve of the 2022 World Cup when he was asked if regretted allowing the United States be a co-host given the problems that have been encountered.

“No, I don’t regret anything. I’ve been organising events for the last 30 years between Uefa and Fifa… I’m used to dealing with issues.

“I was feeling I have to give the voice to those who felt unheard. You all heard my speech three and a half years ago.”

Infantino said this World Cup would not be possible without Trump, although some festering jealousy towards New York City mayor Zohran Mamdani bubbled up when he was again asked about doing more to protect fans from soaring ticket prices.

“I must congratulate mayor Mamdani,” Infantino said out of nowhere.

He cited how Fifa provided 130,000 tickets at $60 (€52), yet when Mamdani managed 1,000 at $50, he earned far more praise. “Maybe he has better communication people than me, or maybe he is better than me.”

Once again he sought to defend the prices and also the practice of Fifa’s 211 member federations receiving money “to invest”. There will be $2.25 billion (€1.95 billion) in funding by the end of the cycle from 2023 to 2026, something which “gives children hopes and dreams.”

And seeing as all news is local, we can take it as a slight on behalf of Shamrock Rovers captain Pico Lopes when Infantino said “look at Cape Verde, maybe nobody cares about Cape Verde, [but] I do.”

The speakers were still wheezing at this point and even some of the lights went out, and before the place could descend into anarchy, Infantino left us with his hope for what would make this a successful World Cup.

“I think people have to be happy. That is what we want.”

Written by David Sneyd and originally published on The 42 whose award-winning team produces original content that you won’t find anywhere else: on GAA, League of Ireland, women’s sport and boxing, as well as our game-changing rugby coverage, all with an Irish eye. Subscribe here.